The Snake, the Bang, and the Naked Arm

Today was a weird one, or maybe it was just that weird things happened?  I wasn’t even out of my driveway when I realized that I forgot to put on my bracelets. I never leave home without my hematite bracelet and I promised the boy that I would wear the moon phase bracelet that he got me for Christmas every day. It’s a good thing he was at his dad’s, I honestly don’t know if he would notice. Just in case, I’m glad he wasn’t here to notice. My arm felt naked all day…IMG_4198

Half day Wednesday went incredibly fast. I felt like I was at work for five minutes instead of four hours!  I left work and went to get my Wednesday coffee and this is the weirdest part of my day. Did you ever see something that was so far from the norm that it didn’t even register until you were past it? I was driving through the freshly and still stinky black topped parking lot when I noticed that part of the ground was moving. There was a black snake slithering, quickly I might add through the parking lot. Part of me wanted to go back and try and get a picture, I swerved a little at the last second when I realized what it was. I hope I didn’t squish it. I don’t hate snakes but I don’t love them either. How weird is that?

I had more books to pick up from the library so I stopped before my hair appointment. She text me while I was in the library that she had a cancellation and I could come early if I was out of work so I did. She did a slight undercut, well a snip or two under my left whirl (yes I have two) to give it a little more body since it’s been so stubborn lately. It’s finally back to a healthy state and long enough to shape up some. I don’t know what she did differently this time but she nailed it on my bangs. I hope they behave for me as well. She just started a part time job at our local concert hall serving for the private rooms. She is still training but said the girl she was following made $400.00 that night and it was cake. She said she will try and get me in. On one hand it would kick ass to make that kind of money but on the other hand it would be more hours than my Saturday night job.  There are two big concerts this weekend, she said she would let me know how it went.  I’m not so sure how I feel about this….I’m not going to worry about something that may or may not be an issue at the moment. The important part of that story is that I really like my bangs.

I stopped at the reStore on the way home and still no shutters. I did find something that might work in place of a jar for the Christmas project that PT and I are working on. In case you forgot…IMG_4082

It’s hard to find a nice size jar and they had three candle thingys and three plain plates. I used a little E600 and voila….this could work, I think?IMG_4201

I guess the girl mentioned E600 at school and no one knew what it was. She was so shocked. I tried to tell her that not everyone grew up making things. I also scrubbed a lot of labels off of wine bottles tonight. My boss gave me a bunch and one of the brands that she likes a lot has a horrible label….it has three layers. My S.O.S. pad trick is not working on them so they are still soaking.

My last stop was the new age store that I like. I have never experienced anything like I did today in that store. I just ran in to get some candles and I was looking around in the reiki section. The base or root chakra where primal energy and kundalini is coiled is the chakra that I have chosen to work with.  I had my candles on the counter when I was looking in the reiki section when this feeling hit me. This huge wave of jittery washed over me. I mentioned something about the energy in the store and the girl said “yeah it’s been bouncy in here all day, it’s really bad in the crystal room. My hands were shaking when I was paying….I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I would love for somebody to tell me what the hell that was?  Oh back to kundalini….I bought a candle last week at the health food store and today for my nap, I chose some meditation music with that theme. When I woke from my nap I looked up snake in my Animal Speak book and wait till you hear this.  Those of you who already think that I am a little “out there” can skip this part. Here are the highlights…(also I am choosing to ignore the sexuality part and am focusing on the creativity)

The serpent and snake has long been a symbol of the sexual/creative life force within humans as it is taught in Eastern traditions. The kundalini or serpent fire lies coiled at the base of the spine. As we grow and develop, the primal energy is released, rising up the spine.

This part makes me sit up and say “wait…what?”  When did my new nose issues start?

The sense of smell is linked to higher forms of discrimination and spiritual idealism. Individuals with the snake totem will find themselves extremely sensitive to smalls and fragrances. Aromatherapy may be a form of healing that is beneficial to explore. They should pay attention to what is going on around them. Do things really smell right around you? Make sure that you are very discriminating about what you say and to whom, and with what you involve yourself.

I talked about this very thing in a letter to my friend who is still in the hospital. Something just doesn’t add up….

Snakes are symbols of change and healing. They have speed and agility, so those who have snakes come into their life will usually find changes and shifts occur quickly and are soon recognized and defined. When snake comes into your life you can look for a rebirth into new powers of creativity and wisdom.

All of it is positive but I do find some of it unsettling. I see it, I don’t get it…..but I see it. I put the words on paper and it will go in the mail tomorrow to my friend. This one is her specialty and I just wish I could talk to her. It has to roll around a little before I can elaborate……Zia


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My New Spot

I am sad that my cousin and his wife are moving but I was happy to inherit this chair. IMG_4195

Weather permitting…..this is my new spot for a nap. This is the exact spot where I saw a tiny fawn last week. I park to the right of this spot and one of the techs parks to the left in his big truck. He was at one of our other offices today so I felt like I was taking a nap in the wide open. I have that instant sleep down pat in an empty exam room, it’s going to take me some time to get used to all of the traffic and buzzing sounds. Don’t get me wrong…..I still fall asleep but my fifteen minute naps are more like five outside. It’s just nice to be outside.

Things have been kind of quiet on this end, which is always good. I harvested my container garden yesterday….except the green peppers, I stuffed those last week. IMG_4188IMG_4189

It wasn’t much but it was enough to make some melanzane parmesan and some tomato basil risotto for dinner tonight. RD was coming over and I wasn’t sure what I was making until the big doctor brought in basil from his garden. My first thought was a pesto recipe but I couldn’t find a pine nut in this town and I wasn’t venturing back out.  I had a chicken in the crock pot yesterday and was originally going to make soup when I decided to make the tomato basil risotto. I don’t make it often because of the constant stirring for thirty minutes and the kids don’t care that much but I like it. At least I can say that I harvested something.

Dinner was nice. It was my way of thanking RD for being there in the middle of my breakdown or moment as SB insists that we call it.  I’m glad it’s over and will be ecstatic when this anxiety subsides. The past three days were fine but today I was anxious all day, I have no idea what that’s all about.

I spent last night cleaning and getting rid of most of the evidence of kids. The couch is orderly, there is dog hair but only the minute and thirty second lint roll removal kind. The coffee table is clear of all but the remotes and a book that I haven’t had a second to pick up. Maybe tomorrow I will get some reading in? All I know for sure is the grays go away at 1pm tomorrow……Zia

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Flying Horses?

It was another weird night in the dream world. The first dream I had was about an eagle, I have no specifics, just that it was about an eagle. The second dream had horses flying through the sky, almost like a carousel. One of the horses had wings. Not like a Pegasus where the wings belong, but like a bumblebee…..big body little wings. In my dream I called to the girl “get out here, you won’t believe it, there is a flying horse!” What the heck? When I made my bed this morning it was like I was wrestling bears last night or something… bed never looks like that. I guess it was a restless night. I looked horse up in  my Animal Speak book and it means travel and freedom. I’m okay with both of those aspects, especially the freedom part.

I met SB for breakfast about twenty minutes later than planned, lucky for me I was able to text her so we ended up arriving at the same time.  Then we headed off to the artisan type festival. I looked for ideas and for presents but today ended up being about me. I brought a certain amount of cash to spend and I stayed within my budget. I thought this scarf would be a great gift for the girl.IMG_4175

SB said “does she even own anything pink?” and the girl said “I’m not a big scarf wearer.” So I passed on this unique upcycled scarf.  I ended up buying myseft a set of sheep’s wool fleece lined knitted fingerless gloves for $19.00. I will get a lot of use out of these.IMG_4185

My first purchase was a tiny mushroom for my fairy garden that cost $3.00. She had the most whimsical garden creatures there. If I had a permanent house I would have been all over that tree creature who was holding an adorable frog. I need things for my fairy garden so the three dollars was well spent.IMG_4184

SB was looking for bird feeder and big hooks. Sadly I had one that wouldn’t fit in my brothers truck from wild birds unlimited that took me three years to build. Every year at income tax time I would add to it but it was one of the things that was stolen…grr.  I didn’t go look at my neighbors to see if they had that but it was pretty specific with the tiny black bird on the top…(sigh)…it’s just stuff.  SB did find a nice sturdy double hook with a dragonfly on top and I found a cute little dragonfly for only $5.00. I have it hanging on my coffee rack right now since I don’t have a place outside.IMG_4186SB’s hook….IMG_4181

I was holding it while she went in to buy something, this was the best I could do with one hand. I also bought myself a spoon bracelet. I never remember to wear earrings and I always wear my zoisite necklace, so the only thing that varies is a bracelet.IMG_4183

I took a few more random pictures from the day. Here is an iron worker from the place SB did not end up buying from…he was her second choice.  He was in his seventies and just adorable.IMG_4171There was also this metal witch that was fun….IMG_4179


She was a steal at $650.00. You would have to make an awful lot of money to blow that kind of money on a seasonal decoration.  We had fun, like we always do and later SB sent me some pictures of her upcycled garden feeders. They are amazing and the next thing I know we are sharing tables at craft shows.  I am head over heels about that idea, I just need to pick some shows. I’ll add that to my list this week.

Bigfoot was here as well…..FullSizeRender(42)

I did manage one organizing project today, since my cousin and his truck were not available to go to the old house one last time.  This is my mess of cd’s, and yes I like them and no I am not ready to go digital….IMG_4190

I was sucked into those two books that have the nice spine but they weren’t very user friendly. Now that I have moved I need order! So I bought this box on amazon for $8.57.IMG_4191and these for $5.99IMG_4192

If I find any more cd’s, I will need more paper sleeves.  That was was condensed to this….IMG_4193

All I did was put the cd in the sleeve and tuck it in to the cd cover…example..have a nice day….IMG_4194

I also came across the cd that I promised to SB, the one that if you play it outside it attracts owls. I never had to use it since I already had owls at the old house, well  that one that sounded like a pterodactyl and scared the crap out of me that night….it was still am owl. She will be happy.  She really is on a bird kick..isn’t it funny how we go through these phases? Then there are the things that we are always drawn to no matter how old it is. We both agree that we prefer old, or upcycled over new any day……Zia

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Is This a Joke?

So I get to work (second job) today ready to go. At this point all I know is there is four of us working and it’s for 125 people.  I get there and there are cookies everywhere…who has a wedding reception at noon on a Saturday?  Oh….It’s not just a reception…they are getting married here. I looked at the chef when he told me and said “are you kidding me? Geez weddings give me anxiety.” He just laughed and laughed.FullSizeRender(41)

Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Maybe because it was in the restaurant? During the vows I walked away and hung out in the kitchen and the rest of the time I was at the bar. I am not much for bartending but everybody ordered things I could make today. Maybe it was the way they asked?  The other girl who sometimes jumped behind the bar with me and asked “what a screwdriver?” “It’s just vodka and orange juice, my ex husband used to drink that.” Now if the guy would have just said a vodka and orange juice there would have been no confusion. We aren’t bartenders. There is a giant rescued/salvaged bar in this place and not one of us are qualified to be bartenders. I think I did fairly well….I made us $132.00 which split four ways is $33.00.

The party itself paid well but I didn’t leave there until after eight. This manager kid doesn’t get it…..I am not a spring chicken! I can’t work ten hour days, which I did today. Epsom salts saved me when I got home. I think maybe I need to some hip openers…you know happy baby, goddess, and even the dreaded frog pose…something. I was struggling towards the end of this day. I will be able to bank some of today and that was worth it.

I am looking forward to tomorrow with SB. Normally we meet at some waffle place close to the old house, this time I asked to go closer to her house. We are trying a new place and I have no idea where I am going or what I am going to wear…..the weather is iffy tomorrow. I will find it and I will figure it out. It’s time to start new adventures.

The kids were on kitty socialization duty while I was at work. I realize that I don’t need a cat but the kids have been asking for a while. It’s time to test the girls claim on kitten whisperer. IMG_7212

I really liked the markings on this one and then I saw the black calico….the runt…the one who is the most scared. Yes, I think I like her the best. The kids are gone next week so I might work with that cat a little. She likes the quiet and she will get it with me. I requested five books from the library so that should keep me busy for a while.IMG_4168

When I first read Daughter of the Forest, I was completely entranced. I was sucked into that time and had to get my bearings when I put the book down. How many books have that power?  I loved these books, Sorcha and Red….I loved Red, he was one of a kind. Then there is Liadan and Bran in Son of Shadows and in Child of the Prophecy we go back to Sevenwaters. I didn’t realize that Juliet Marillier added books to this series. This is my next week folks….I just received the email from the library that the books are all in. I hope they talk about Finbar….not human, not swan but stuck between worlds. I loved that character!  I am hoping to escape this week into some quiet reading…..Zia


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The Fog is Lifting

Today was better than yesterday but I still feel raw.  Do you know what it feels like to have the wind knocked out of you? That’s the best way I can describe it. I think I must have experienced shock of some kind? I didn’t see any of it coming and although “stuff” doesn’t really matter…I closed my eyes and relaxed for a second and he got me again.   I just wasn’t prepared for any of it. I’ll be better any day now and I will figure out how to rebuild my walls only better for next time.

Today was the longest day ever! It was the second surgery day this week and while the morning flew by, I found myself having way too much time to over analyze my breakdown this week.  I had most of it figured out but do you really care? I don’t. I am over all of this. I was blindsided, I wasn’t prepared for it and I had a breakdown.  He will always be there somewhere and it’s my problem how I react to it…’s a small town so it’s bound to happen. I need better armor and to find a way to deal with this breathing mess.

The girl sent me a text while I was at lunch that said “I need an adult”….my heart sank…what now? I guess there is a spider living in our mailbox and he is pretty aggressive too. Thank goodness it was just a spider.IMG_4163

I have been trying to not use any hair spray so I didn’t have an aerosol can on hand to make him all sticky and murder him that way. He is still a free arachnid until I find a way to plan his quick demise.  My cousins, while rather large and full of weapons tend to back down from spiders so I am on my own with this one. I’ll get him tomorrow….somehow.

KB and I have had dinner plans for a while now and then the girl decided she was coming too. I text KB and asked her to invite her daughter, so it became a mother daughter night. It was supposed to be in the alley but with the threat of rain they kept it inside. It was still nice only a little loud because the entertainment was inside as well.

It amazes me how much KB doesn’t remember from high school. There is a lot that I have forgotten, more towards the later years of high school so now I don’t feel so bad. Thanks KB…xoxo.  One of the kids we went to high school with died today.  Was he a year ahead of me? I can’t find any evidence in the year books and I can’t remember. I haven’t laid eyes on him since high school. He was cute enough to get a mention in my diary when I had to sit next to him on the bus and that was the extent of that. I guess he had a heart attack. KB said he was an alcoholic and there may have been some drugs, I only remember that he smoked cigarettes.  I smoked then too. It’s always sad when someone you knew died. I didn’t know him that well so it was more like “awe how sad, that’s a shame, he was so hot back then.” Shallow but honest.

So we are sitting there talking and eating when I hear someone mention my name. It was my old lab manager from the good lab…before the merger. It was so nice to see him!  He had his moments, especially to the others….I would never let him give me the silent treatment….I just kept talking. I bet you’re not surprised? I jumped right up and hugged him because well, I am a hugger. It was nice surprise. He knows about my dear friend who is still in the hospital. She was back on an upswing and now there is a fever and drug resistant bacteria in her lungs. This is not good…. I sent her one of my literary bottles and her husband said she smiled when she saw it….I did one thing right this week.

It has been a really weird week.  I have had the carpet ripped out from under me, while shocked and stunned my walls fell down. My stomach feels better with every minute but my breathing is a mess. I need to formulate a plan with better walls and a new defense system. I have an aggressive spider that I have to kill…somehow.  My PMS should be ending any minute and I am going into work early for a party tomorrow….I hate the restroom at the restaurant. Sunday I am meeting SB and we are going to an artisan festival in the woods and that means port a potties. Feminine maintenance in public is no fun.  I am hoping to get my cousin afterwards to take me back to the old house one more time. There isn’t much left after the break in, I just need someone armed to watch the perimeter while I get what I need.

This has been a rough week with the emotions on over load, the breakdown, the death, and all of the talk about high school. I told the girl tonight that” beach or no beach I will follow you where ever you want to go.”  I have no debt, no house, a disposable car, I can go anywhere. If you would told me in high school that I could have had anything I wanted then I would have told you that I wanted to go to UCLA and to write. Nobody told me I could and everyone told me all of the reasons I couldn’t. I can acclimate to almost any environment so I will follow the girl and drag the boy…willing or not. Somebody in this family is going to follow their dreams, no matter what……Zia

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After the Fall

Those of you who suffered through yesterday’s post, thank you and I am sorry. I have posted before when I was angry or upset or even just an emotional moment. Last night was beyond all of that…..I was having a break down.

The day after hasn’t been so fun either. My eyes are tired, my stomach feels like I spent the night vomiting and I can’t breathe.  I was still anxious all day today. This is all happening because two people who I care nothing about stole something that at this point isn’t that important. It’s just stuff, right? A picnic table isn’t worth how I feel today. I barely survived work and all I want to do is take a bath. A nice hot detox bath to soak in for a really long time. I know once I do that I will be done for the night. I might make it as far as the couch to watch some Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.rs_634x940-150216112348-634-Unbreakable-Kimmy-Schmidt-JR-21615

I think my new pumpkin seed habit might be causing some problems as well. I go through two bags of these a week….that’s a lot of salt.IMG_4126

I first noticed on the day that I had to fill out the police report and then I noticed it yesterday when I was on the phone with the detective. I started to get slightly woozy and really hot. Not like a hot flash hot, it’s different. I think it could be my blood pressure so I had one of the nurses take my blood pressure today and it was 113 over 75. She said oh that’s in the good range but for me it’s not. My top number is rarely that high and the bottom usually ranges from the fifties to the sixties. I also wasn’t hot and woozy when she took it. I remember threatening the anesthesiologist when I was in labor with the boy. He kept hovering and muttering about it being so low and how he was going to have to shut it off. No way! I have always had really low blood pressure so this is new to me. Again, I reiterate a picnic table is not worth all of this angst.

I woke up at 3am with another can’t breathe high heat event. This time it was a dream. Those of you who have been with me for a while know about my recurring house dreams. Last night’s was a new one on me. I was in this house and I covered the kitchen floor with new tile. I happened to be standing in front of the kitchen sink when the first tile fell and immediately three or four followed. I got on the floor and looked in the hole and the tiles had fallen way down. I remember looking under the floor and wondering what the heck is holding this floor up? Then more tiles started falling and then the floor started swaying and I woke up not able to catch my breath and hot as hell.

I have had enough of these dreams to know that the house is me. This is my first floor dream. I looked it up and the consensus is that the floor represents a support system and sense of security. I have a loving family and the best friends in the world but my support system died with my mother….she was my rock. Maybe in a couple of days when I am less emotional it will make more sense?

I saw this on Facebook today and it was the first thing that made me feel a little better…..FullSizeRender(40)

That moon, my peri menopause PMS, and going through those pictures last night made me sound like a crazy person. Maybe I am crazy?  I can’t help that I am emotional and that my emotions are tied to my physical health.  I had my first upper G I as an infant, did I still carry some of my past life’s trauma with me? I haven’t had to have one in years thank goodness but I think I have had four. This must be where I bury stuff, in my belly. I really need to work on that….


I am beginning to think that I will never find a way to truly be free of this part of my life. I keep trying and someone or something always comes along and tries to drag me down….Zia

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Son of a Beehive!

Wow! I really am at a loss…..My old neighbors the icky crazy ones, are claiming that they bought my picnic table from a yard sale. The crazy bipolar lady I would expect it from…but my actual neighbor…..I am shocked!  Am I really going to do this? It’s a stupid picnic table. If those rat bastards want it so bad let them have it…..and choke on their burgers.IMG_4120

The very nice detective…the one who helped me survive the original Cockroach trauma called me today and filled me in on the lies. I will never see my stuff…the stuff that counts and if they want to go to such great lengths to lie about MY picnic table then they can keep it. I just don’t care enough for this battle…..yep, don’t care.

RD came over tonight, bless her heart….she was worried and even brought tissues. I was done crying by then. I rolled five pounds of meatballs this afternoon and that was when I had my little breakdown. You know what? I am emotional! I can’t help that….I’m a water sign..I never had a chance in hell.  Some people look at it as a weakness and maybe it is. I can try really hard not to wear my heart on my sleeve but it always ends up there.

I let RD read my email to the detective and the part I wish I could take back…aka..the emotional part, she said was fine. I am not so sure.  I am grateful for all this man has done for me over the past years and yet I am still in this loop.

Towards the end of our conversation he made a comment something like….”you have done nothing to instigate this you are the victim.”  I never realized that I had a problem with this word until that moment.  That word sounds so weak……Do you think I am weak?  I’d like to think that I survived that trauma like a champ….not a victim.  Poor guy…I hope he didn’t take offense.

RD came over and had some wine and cheese and made sure I was okay. I am FINE! Please don’t worry about me…this is just a hiccup.  Maybe I wasn’t supposed to have a picnic table?  Who knows why this is happening to me, but I will be okay. I survive…it’s my thing…..Zia


PS. The reStore didn’t have any shutters for me but they did have a “mirror,mirror, on the wall for only $5.36…..I couldn’t help myself.IMG_4124

Please excuse my mess in the mirror.  I also scored at Giant Eagle with the clearance sulfate free shampoo…..FullSizeRender(39)

All of this for $9.50…..score! I didn’t get nearly as much as I wanted done today, but I did survive…..Zia

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Sharing is Caring…..

Last week one of the more flirtatious patients offered us a bottle of wine last week if his glasses were ready on Friday. It wasn’t really a bribe since his first few comments were more of the fishing kind. If we did go to bars regularly, we wouldn’t just share that info with anybody. Since we don’t, it doesn’t really matter. The girls at work seem to think that he is only flirting with me and thank goodness they didn’t embarrass me when he came back. He did bring a bottle of wine and I hope he wasn’t waiting for an invitation?

I certainly wasn’t going to keep the bottle to myself and I invited the girls over to share it. Two coworkers came over and it was nice. A little bit of bitching,a little bit of bonding and a lot of cheese with the wine.  I will write a thank you and have the other girls sign it too. I’m not sure why they are making such a big deal, according to his benefits he is married with a couple of kids? I am not interested and wasn’t attracted at all anyway, but I appreciate the excuse to have a girls night.

I think the one girl needs more girls nights. She tries to rival Bad Personal Hygiene Girl in the asshole department but falls short every time. I think she is just lonely. She is fostering a slew of kittens right now and brought four over for the girl to work with.  The girl and I both liked the black and white one. I need another animal like I need a hole in the head….we will see.  I’m sure that was her plan when she brought them over.

The girl and I finished season five of The Game of Thrones tonight and now I am debating whether or not to get HBO Go for a month so we can watch season six. I checked and it isn’t released on DVD until November.  I saw this image on FB yesterday and I immediately sent it to the girl…..I have been telling her for a while now that Ramsay looks like an evil hobbit.IMG_4116

I think we did fairly well…it took us all summer but we made it through five seasons. I welcome a little tv break….I have lots to do.  I did purge some scrapbooking items and I was lucky to have neighbor who is interested. I was all sweaty and paint covered yesterday or I would have brought her the bag then.IMG_4119

Most of the paper came from this organizer which now has plenty of room for the paper that I haven’t come across yet.IMG_4118

I may not be a scrapbooker but paper arts have always been one of my things. From cards to tags and other embellishments….I will use this paper. Slowly but surely I am trying to rid myself of the excess. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t devastated about the break in?  I did recall that there was a Belle porcelain doll that I wouldn’t let the girl have since she took over all of my other Disney stuff. If I wouldn’t have tried to keep that for myself I would still have it….now it’s in someone’s crack pipe. What a waste! It’s just stuff….that’s what I keep telling myself.  Someday I will have a grand library and Disney collectibles will be scattered around the room, maybe I will find a different Belle that I like better. It’s a nice thought, don’t you think?

I have a question for you….what email do you use? For my blog I use Gmail which I love and never have any spam issues. I also signed up with Yandex Mail for my Mad Concoctions and have no spam issues. My everyday email with Yahoo……it is disgusting the amount of spam I get with this service. I need to change it to another provider that isn’t one of the two listed above. I could use my cable provider email….if I’m not in the area next year then I would have to change it again, that is too much work. What do you use? Do you fight spam everyday?  I get over 100 emails a day and that is not including spam….I can’t look at it anymore. I don’t have the time or energy for that battle. I would appreciate any and all advice on this matter. Thanks……Zia

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Distraction Tactics

It was a very long night of tossing and turning. I went to bed after eleven and woke up at 2:30 am. The harder I tried to lull myself to sleep the more awake I became. I started recalling more things that were missing and really what is the point? I’m not even sure I will be getting my picnic table back. That would be a sad example of our legal system if that is true.

Too many factors played into this. My peeps were never available with their trucks, the title company demanded a survey, the surveyor’s mother died…..this is the way this is supposed to play out. I don’t have to understand it and I sure as hell don’t have to like it but I can’t change it. Reasoning with myself didn’t help me fall asleep.

Today was uneventful and I managed to get one thing off of my list…..and this one has been on it for a while. Do you remember my $6.00 coffee table?IMG_4035

It has now become my $12.00 coffee table and the bonus is…I didn’t lose a finger. This stuff was hard to cut!IMG_4117

It will get the job done as long as we live here and when we move it can be donated or tossed. I’m just happy that I found one that was the perfect size. I spilled a gallon of paint on the garage floor and wore more than what ended up on the table but it’s done. It may need a touch or two but the majority is done.

I took a long milk bath and now I’m writing you. It’s not a lot but it was my day and I can’t believe that I am still awake……Zia


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What’s One More?

IMG_4104I have been trying for a month now to get either my brother or one of my cousins over to the old house to get the picnic table. I was thrilled when my brother said he could do it today. The title is in the process of being transferred so I needed to get it done asap. We pulled in the driveway and the picnic table was gone but I could still see it in my crazy neighbors backyard. Upon further examination I realized that the back door as well as the basement door had been kicked in. The building where most of the stuff was stolen didn’t have forced signs of entry but it wasn’t that great of a lock. Who steals stuffed animals and school supplies?  He was trying to hurt the kids, that is why the stuffed animals are gone. Bastard!

So I had to make a police report and the officer couldn’t just take the picnic table either. So now I have no picnic table and I had to endure the humiliation of filling out a police report…..again. I was just joking with my aunt last night about how after watching Game of Thrones my bad choice didn’t seem so bad…..ain’t that a kick in the head?

This officer was one of the nicer ones only he couldn’t grasp the concept that I wanted my new address private. Thankfully the detective that has helped me in the past was on duty…whew!  Sadly there are a few more things that I want to get, none of which require a truck….just the courage to go back there.  I guess you never really get rid of a Cockroach, do you? 

I handled this one(police report) better than I did the other ones…in theory. I am still angry and want more than ever to put that part of my life behind me. How long do you have to pay for loving an asshole?  I wasn’t even that angry this afternoon….it’ll fester for a while, I’m sure.  I didn’t feel violated, maybe because I don’t live there anymore. The stuff that was taken I can live without although I didn’t appreciate the bassinet being tossed across the attic because it wasn’t what they needed. I am just….done. Can I please start the next chapter of my life without any further Cockroach incidents?  Maybe it’s the rain….maybe it’s the constant late nights…..all I know is that I am tired and over it.

I was dressed like a bum and even had pants on instead of shorts because of bugs and stuff at the old house. The girl wanted to go to Sam’s club with my brother and luckily no one I knew was there. I hate going out in public looking like a bum. It was nice to be able to buy the things I use at those prices, sometimes I miss not having a membership.

The more I sit….the more upset I am getting so I am off to clean as much as I can to burn off the mad…….Zia

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