Couch Coma

I lost the struggle with the germs and my nose has kicked my butt.  I made it to work today and was good for the first hour. My face hurt first and then the sneezing palooza began. They sent me home with my germs after lunch.

I was relieved that I had some chicken in the freezer this morning. I tossed it in the crock pot before I left and every once in a while I will get up and have a cup of broth, it helps a little.

I nested on the couch and slept from 1pm to around 5pm.  I took a bath around 7pm with some eucalyptus and lavender essential oils which helped for about fifteen minutes. My last sneezing fit happened right after the kids came home. So much for sleeping it off….

I hope I feel better in the morning. There isn’t too much to say since I spent most of my day sleeping…..Zia

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Germ Battle

Germs are everywhere at work. My coworkers are sneezing and coughing and hacking…ugh. I tried to take it easy last night and today I am still struggling with my nose. I have been taking my vitamin C and I only use hand sanitizer if I have an “itis” come through my window and I have to touch something that they did.  I am still fighting it but I’m not so sure who will win this one.

It’s bitterly cold outside and I think I may have to shovel the top of the driveway before I go to bed.  The kids are at their dads, so it is just me.

Other than that icky news I have been on a purging spree.  I went through a mound of paperwork on Monday and I feel so much lighter. I still have some to shred, lucky for me the girl finished a good chunk of it yesterday.

I did some running around today, not as much as I normally would have done but a decent amount.  I needed some of my favorite local coffee shop’s coffee for a gift so I drove out there. I am happy to report that they are opening a new location….2.5 minutes from where I work! I’m so excited that I don’t have to drive twenty minutes to get my favorite coffee any longer.  They are opening in a few weeks….good for me and bad for my budget.

My one year work anniversary is next month and I have been preparing for my yearly benefits. We get $100.00 reimbursement yearly for scrubs, which roughly adds up to 2 1/2 pair.  We are no longer limited to ceil blue, thank goodness. I bought a nice pair of dark gray scrubs today. Cherokee brand was on sale, buy one get one 40% off, they have a new style “flexibles” and they fit very well. It’s hard when you have skinny legs because most scrubs pants are cut really wide.  I have worn a variety of scrubs over the last year and now I have a better idea of what looks good and is comfortable.  Next week I will buy another pair and on March 16th I will hand over my receipts . I am trying really hard to stay ahead of the game.

I did manage to complete my contact lens experiment and I don’t think I will need a progressive lens this year. Whew! I did find ( the optician actually found) a really nice pair of glasses that I think I could wear a few days a week. I will still wear my contacts most of the time, but it’s nice to have a new option.IMG_2983(1)

This pair on my knee has a white temple which I didn’t love. The optician ordered me a different color, dark brown with brown temples that I liked a lot more. They came in today but I didn’t have time to snap a photo.  The shape is the same so you get the idea.  I get a free pair of glasses once a year, another nice bonus.  When I worked at the lab we received free lenses and had to buy the frame so this is a big bonus for me.

Since I am showing leg, I will show you my crazy bruise.  One of my coworkers at the restaurant….the one who took two weeks to learn how to punch in and out on her own told me that my bruise was a sign of cancer. Who says that?  It’s a nice shade of purple now with a tinge of yellow on the outside.IMG_2985

I have no idea where it came from?  I have a nice bruise on my forearm too and I had no idea where it came from until I grazed the door handle at work. It rubbed the exact spot where my bruise is.  I’m sure I must have run into it.  I say “oh that’s gonna leave a mark” at least 3-4 times a week. I don’t always get a bruise, it depends on how it happens.  The girl thought that this was the dog kennel for sure but it’s a tad higher so who knows. Maybe I just need to eat more bananas?

I hope all of you have had a good week so far and if you live in the Northeast stay warm…..Zia


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When I Lose It

You know how it is when something crosses your mind and you can’t wait to blog about it and by the time you sit down to write, it loses something. I am trying really hard to remember and with the “Wooer” in the background I am having some trouble concentrating.  Can you imaging paying all of that money for a  Super Bowl ticket only to have someone who is obnoxious with their wooing sitting near you? How is even possible to be that loud?  It’s very distracting and annoying.  I also haven’t loved a single commercial yet..

I going to try and give this a shot….

I started my Saturday early because the girl had her ACTs. She tried really hard to talk me out of it……I made her go. When we were getting in the car the sun was just coming up and I scanned the treeline just as I do everyday. I noticed a large object in one of the trees out in the woods. I said “is that a hawk?” and then it moved. The girl went into full panic mode “get in the car mom! That’s a big racoon out in the daytime, it must be rabid”  Once we were in the car she said “I didn’t know a racoon could climb a tree?”  She was now wide awake for her test.

I felt a little bit better about leaving her there when she recognized someone before she exited the car.  I came home and cleaned out the fridge. The thorough kind of cleaning…..I took everything out, scrubbed everything down, and threw out everything that had expired.  I took three bags to Goodwill and a bag to the recycle center. Too bad I like to sleep in because I did get a lot accomplished.

My eye was much better by the time I started my waitress job in the afternoon, thank goodness. I am not a fan of wearing my glasses especially when I am running around like I was last night. I think I forgot to mention something about my book…..Is it sad that I get so excited over a tiny piece of background? The other day I named a band Keratoconus and finally found a way to write the dishwasher in my story. Let me say that the dishwasher is a sweet kid and one of my favorites to work with. I can see how he could be a little cocky with his peers but he’s never been like that with me.  He did give me Goat though and Goat (greatest of all time) is the lead singer of Keratoconus.  If System of a Down and Simon and Garfunkel had a love child it would be this band. I thought it was interesting that after I wrote this down in my notebook I heard the new Disturbed cover of Sound of Silence. This is not what I had in my head but I found the timing very interesting.

It just feels good to be excited again, I was worried that I was losing the story.  This band and character are just a tiny part, a paragraph or maybe a page… a tiny layer in the story.  It’s not easy building a fictional world but I like it so far.

I didn’t get home from work until ten and by the time we started watching Meet Me in St Louis it was ten thirty. Needless to say I didn’t make it to bed until around 1 am. The girl had a hard time watching the Halloween scenes. She just couldn’t believe that there was no parental supervision and that it was acceptable to throw flour in an adults face and say “I hate you”. That part of the movie stuck out more than anything else for her.

Today we did a lot of running around, traipsing through the mall was not on my list and yet somehow I found myself doing that very thing.  My non shopper wanted to browse the mall and suddenly we had a little roll reversal going on. It was weird.  When the boy came home from work we went out to eat. A dear friend sent me a gift card to take the kids out to eat and remember my mom and grandma. The kids never even looked at their phones and I didn’t have to say a word. It was a really nice dinner, thank you CG.

Now it’s the time of night where I wish I had more time, there never seems to be enough time…..Zia


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Attack of the “itis”

I have always been extremely careful since I started working in the optical field. Eight plus years in the lab I dodged that bullet, even after touching frames full of face cheese. Yes, that is as gross as it sounds.  I have been on the retail side for eleven months. I have seen Blepharitis, Conjuctivitis, Episcleritis,Dermatitus and many more. I woke up at 2:30am, got up, grabbed a drink and went back to bed and my eyes were fine. My alarm went off at 6am and only one eye opened. Ugh, it finally got me! Lucky for me, I work in the right place and put my first medicated drop in around 8:10am.

The girl had a bad attack of cramps this morning and since she has a history of throwing up because of them I let her stay home. While I was getting ready I heard her say “this is it, this is how I’m gonna go.” I rolled my eyes and said “you’re not going to die, you’ll be fine.” She responded with ” how can you say that when any minute twenty tiny satans are going to burst out of my stomach?”  Poor kid. Her lab teacher wasn’t at school today either so at least she didn’t miss anything important. She has her ACTs tomorrow morning, which I already rescheduled once….I’m sure she’ll be fine.

The girl came to work with me yesterday for the first half of the day. She job shadowed Force of Nature Girl. They both had fun just like I knew they would. The girl was even able to witness a contact lens class. I know that it has nothing to do with her plans for the future but she asked and my office manager said she could come.  Now she knows what I do all day, and she can put some faces with the names I mention.

Tonight the girl still wanted a salad from the vault restaurant so we went and grabbed them to go. We came home and watched The Maze Runner because those are the books she is reading now and she wanted me to watch it. It’s only fair since I am making her watch black and white movies on Saturday nights. Tomorrow we are watching Meet Me in St Louis. I watched it once with PT and I really liked it. The movie is in Technicolor which has caused some debate….we are watching it anyway.

I am hoping to be able to wear my contacts tomorrow, even if it is only during the hours that I waitress. I am not a fan of wearing my glasses.  I can get a pair of glasses next month and I am playing around with readers. I haven’t decided if I want to try a progressive?  My distance isn’t bad, it’s just not as crisp as it could be…when it’s nice and crisp….I can’t read my phone.  It’s funny that today I was going to try my actual contact lens prescription and play with the readers. That touch of pink eye stopped that experiment in it’s track.  There are so many choices…progressive lenses, multi focal contacts, mono vision, or backing down the distance a quarter diopter.  I just don’t know if I could wear glasses everyday?  I like the freedom that contact lenses offer but I don’t think I could do the mono vision? I guess I won’t know until I try.

It’s heck getting old…….Zia

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Last night my computer crashed. I didn’t have anything uber important to say but was lost when I couldn’t say anything.  Thank goodness I have the boy who restored it to the day I brought it home.

He was so worried at how I would react because I lost all of  my pictures and files. He has the biggest portion of my pictures on a flash drive so my world didn’t end.  My resume was one of the files that was lost.  It would need updated to be current and most importantly I like my job, so I have plenty of time to create a new one.

This is one of the reasons that I use Google Docs to write. Remind me of this moment when I am trying to put all of the docs in an order that makes sense. I may have lots of parts that someday may make a whole but I can access them from any computer. If I would have had all of my writings about Charlie on my computer only, it would be gone today.

I don’t have a whole lot to report although the girl sent me a text yesterday that made me chuckle a little.FullSizeRender

I am so happy that she gets it and she is starting to really like to read…..the not required by school kind of reading.  It works out that I have been scoring big at the used library cart and Goodwill since she is dipping into my book budget.  The library cart has hardbacks for 50 cents and paperbacks for 25 cents, Goodwill on half price day has hardbacks for $1.00.  I have been using the libraries resources a lot more lately, free is the best price. 

The girl requested a trip to Barnes and Noble to get the last book out there right now in the Maze Runner series. It’s in paperback so it’s not a huge expense. While we were there I had her look at Hush Hush and I knew it!  She crinkled up her nose and said “yep it sounds too kissy kissy for me.”

I am still waiting for Windows 8 to upload and had strict instructions from the boy to stay away from Windows 10.  I am just happy to be able to blog in the meantime. I only use Firefox and I mostly use this computer to write. Occasionally I will print an email or a project from Pinterest but that’s it. I use my phone for the rest. I am happy to be connected again…….Zia

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My Own Worst Enemy

I have no explanation for why I do the things I do.  None. Nada. Zip.  Why in the world do I insist on spending all day in the kitchen making soup that I end up throwing away half of because I’m the only one who eats it?  I am wasting time.

While I am wasting time in the kitchen I pour myself a glass of wine. I have been really thirsty the last few days, today I had finished my water quota before five….that never happens.  I didn’t wake up with a hangover or anything this morning but I did drink more wine than normal yesterday. I’m sure that influenced the title of last night’s post  “I Love You Stockard Channing”, sure I’m a fan but that was a little over the top, don’t you agree?  Watching the live version of Grease was wasting more time.

The girl said to me yesterday “when are you going to finish your book? It could be a best seller and make lots of money, but you’ll never know because you aren’t writing enough.”  The best seller is a stretch but she is right, I am not writing enough.  It’s not that I don’t think about the characters every day, because I do but it’s still not writing.  I’m not writing because I am wasting my time doing other silly things.

After breakfast yesterday PT and I talked about our next project.  Do you remember when I talked about these fairy lights?

We have everything to make them except the fairy di cuts. They aren’t that expensive from that sight but I will still check out some other sources. I am also almost positive that we found our Christmas craft for next year.trees

There are a couple different versions of this and I like the ones with a terra cotta pot as the base. Those are very inexpensive new and I always come across some at garage sales.  I am hoping to stop in at Joann’s at the right time, aka when I know the person working in the frame shop. If not I will just go to Michael’s. I want to get some mat board cut into different size squares so we have a sturdy template.  We will be cutting and tearing paper squares all year. I love this little tree and they will cost almost nothing to make.  January is a planning month I think, even though the weather has spared us this year, January is a time to look forward.

I did make some calls on rentals today, I didn’t find anything. I am not sure when the cold feet came into the picture? This is what I want. This is what I need.  It’s going to happen soon and I am terrified.  I know I need this but actually making the change is tough. It will happen, there will be chaos, and after the storm wonderful things will happen.  It’s all about letting go and that is always the hardest thing.FullSizeRender(119)

I found this on Instagram. Did anyone else follow the Happsters blog?  I haven’t seen them for a while on WordPress and when I saw this I thought “how perfect is this?” It’s where I am right now…….Zia

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Stockard Channing I Love you!!!

Since I try and start in the present….let’s start with the live version on Grease.  I think that as an actress you can aspire to a few things but topping Stockard Channing is not one of those things.  Maybe your names means a little something now?…..see me in thirty years. If I still know your name, maybe it will count?  Until then when I hear “there is no such thing”…it means nothing if you are not Stockard Channing.

I have never watched a movie featuring Stockard Channing that I didn’t love….  The woman who plays Blanche isn’t Blanche…..According to my daughter I’m not supposed to get “butt hurt’ over these things? It’s not about race….find someone as endearing and it doesn’t matter……..geez! I really liked the character?

Yesterday I found a copy of Practical Magic for $1.00….I never read the book, but I could recite the movie.7a817cb5e147e20e78e5b2c1a2d478beAnother stellar performance by Stockard Channing…..

Work was a joke last night, I went home with $25.00 but I was home by 8:30.  I did help the kid manager clean out the drain. I am still traumatized today….who knew that beer could solidify in pipes and look like intestines?  A lot of intestines…….I am the one who opened the flood of grossness……if only I could go back?

The girl and I did some running around yesterday as well as today. We picked up the black and white movie of the week yesterday….12 Angry Men.  The girl let it slip after we started watching it that she watched it freshman year.  I was emotionally involved and yelled at the television often. It was a good pick.12-angry-men-pic-21

I stopped at Pier One and picked up the “Narnia ” rabbit and that was the extent of my weekend….

My cousin’s wife found a couple of leads on places to rent…fingers crossed something pans out….. There is a certain amount of fear that follows this step….fingers crossed I am brave enough…..Zia

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Changing Light

It was a long night tonight but I enjoyed observing the girl in her first book club meeting. Let me rephrase that, I enjoyed watching her converse about the book with the leader of the book club. Nobody else showed up tonight so it was a one on one since I didn’t read the books. When they would veer off topic once in a while I could have an opinion but the girl did okay. The only question that she couldn’t answer was “if this book had a soundtrack, what kind of music would it be?  I’m fairly certain that this was the last meeting of the Barnes and Noble young adult book club.

I like the extra light that we are gaining everyday. I am getting out of work at the exact right moment to capture some of the dusk skies.IMG_2957IMG_2961

I’m glad that my brother listened to me and sent flowers directly to my aunt at the farm. When I checked on her today she said her sister took every flower from the funeral home with her…..just like I knew she would.  My mom used to see the “greed” in her eyes, or at least that’s what she said. My mom was always blunt but towards the end she was extra honest. I have seen her hawk (in my mind it’s her hawk) the last two mornings.

The rest of my days have been just the boring day to day stuff……Zia

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Sunsets and Goodbyes

Yesterday was a really weird day, come to think of it so was today. Our last patient of the day yesterday had to call for a cab at 5:30. The kids were at their dads and I knew they let the dog out around three so I stayed with my office manager until ten after six. This patient will never be scheduled after 3 again. We spent the time talking about death and families.  Why is it so comforting to know that other families are crazy too?

Mostly I was upset because of the sorry excuse of an obituary that my grandmother received. It said she was a homemaker.  That’s it. One word to sum up her life?  It was not only wrong but it was unacceptable. They only listed the living children, not my mother or my two uncles that also preceded her.

I came home to a quiet house and started cleaning…..and stewing….and writing in my head before I ever sat down to the computer. My grandmother was more than just a homemaker, and how dare they? So I took my anger, opened up FaceBook and began to type…..

My grandmother was a wonderful storyteller. She may have never learned to read or write but she could spin a web of words that would leave you entranced, or terrified….depending on the story. It was through her that I learned how to spot a good story and someday I hope to be as talented as she was in the telling…. This song by Walela has an a singer in the beginning who sounds a lot like my grandma did when she would sing. She used to talk about singing and dancing to the old time mountain music, but it was never anything that was recorded. My imagination believes that it might sound a little like Alabama’s Mountain Music, and I always liked that song, maybe that’s why? Sometimes she would tell me ghost stories that would keep me “owl eyed” all night, with threats from my aunt “if you wake this baby!” That baby being Nicole Dawn, who now has babies of her own.
Sometimes she would talk about growing up and her brothers and sisters. I am not sure if I know all of them but I do know there was Bessie, Milley, Howard, Norrie and Critten. She may have been born in Pineville, Kentucky but she lived the longest in Roaring Fork, Kentucky. She lived in a two bedroom house built by her father and spent most of her nights with Norrie sleeping on the floor in front of the fireplace. She had a rough childhood as most did from that time and was closest to her sister Norrie. Whenever I watch Coal Miner’s Daughter I always think of my grandmother since this is the only visual I have of what growing up in a “holler” might be like.
She talked about a tradition that I had never heard of until I started following Outlander sights. I was never sure of the spelling of McCullum (Jane her grandmother) and I was also never sure if it was Irish or Scottish? The tradition that she told me about is Scottish and has a name, it’s called Hogmanay. It was a big deal when she was a child and it is still a big deal in Scotland to this day. A first footer is a real thing. I’m still not sure where Waterloo comes from? She would never ask me if I was dating she would just say “did you find yourself a Waterloo yet?” I would always so “no Grandma, I am not looking for one.”
We talked a lot about canning, it was mostly me asking for advice because that woman could cook. I will never again have sausage gravy and biscuits the way that my grandmother made…hers being the best of course. I have memories of being small and shivering under the blankets until the sweet smell of breakfast wafted through the air. That smell meant that grandma had filled up the wood burner and breakfast was close to being ready.
My grandmother Cynthia **** was born March 10, 1923. She married my grandfather Roy ***** 18 years her senior on April 17th 1945, she was his second wife. They had eleven children, three who preceded her in death. My mother Lorene, my Uncle Roy and my Uncle Hobart. She leaves behind eight children Don, Paul, Wayne,Jimmy,Wanda, Joann, Ricky, and Lisa Marie…..the order may not be correct but the names are. Eleven children means too many grandchildren to count, and even more great grandchildren.
After my mother died we took solace in each other. I talked to her every Saturday night for years. I learned a lot of things in those conversations. Things that I may have never known if circumstances were different. It’s a double edged sword if you will…..I miss my mom more than anything, but I would have never learned as much about my grandmother’s past if my mom wouldn’t have died so young.


My grandmother had a lot of stories but I am sure that her kids never heard them.  They are so full of greed over that farm. My mom told us before she died to stay away after my grandma died and we are listening.

My brother took this and added to it. I can’t post his words here, but holy cow….The sarcastic part of me wanted to respond with “hey I’m not dead yet” but instead I said “you have rendered me speechless. That was beautiful thank you.”  He said things about the strength of the women in our bloodline, me included. He said he was proud and that I was at least twice as strong as he is. I’m brutally honest and that I deeply love my family. What was I supposed to say?  He’s the baby so he spends most of his time picking on me. I wasn’t prepared for his words or the emotion that they carried.

I said my peace and I feel better. Sadly it’s only people that I know that know those things about her. Her neighbors and others she may know only got the “homemaker” memo.

One of the girls from work posted that I should write my grandmother’s life and make it a best seller. First my notes aren’t that great. Second that’s not my genre. Now if my grandmother told me about a space ship landing in their holler….that I could write. I am a Sci Fi /Fantasy girl for sure.  I’ve never tried to write horror though, maybe if I could remember more details of the stories that kept me “owl eyed” and up all night?  I don’t have any deep desires to tell my grandmother’s story but she deserves to be remembered for more than a “homemaker”. Who knew that word bothered me so much? 

I snapped some of these pictures while I was waiting for the last few patients to check out and before I knew we would have to sit there for so long….IMG_2938IMG_2942IMG_2945

Sunsets and rainbows….I have a thing for them for sure. I appreciate a good sunrise as well, especially one with the dew rising off of the ground but I am not a morning person at all.


Thank goodness for search Ohio. I heard that Lifetime made a movie Flowers in the Attic and Petals in the Wind. The original movie was a huge let down so I am hoping that these are better.  I read these books in seventh grade and loved them. I’m not sure why I never noticed how disturbing they were, and I have never looked at a powdered sugar donut without thinking of this book since then.  Movie number one is going to be my exciting night tonight…….Zia

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Suddenly Gone

Ninety two is a long time to live, and I was lucky enough to have had my grandmother for this long.  I was completely taken by surprise when I heard the news today. The old woman singing in the beginning of the Walela  song sounds just like my grandmother did when she would sing.  I’m so glad that I called her a few weeks ago…..She was the only part of my mother that I had left. I have aunts and uncles and cousins down there but I will never see any of them again. Even my mother said “it will be world war 3 over that farm when mom dies.”  I like to think that they are together now.

The girl and I ran all over today…we didn’t even know my grandma was sick.  We took Z to the VIP Pet Clinic for her yearly vaccines, it was the first time we ever walked in and there was no wait. I think next week we will take her back and get her micro chipped.  I have to break it up into a few visits, and I would like to take advantage of their slow time.

We also went into Pier One to see what they had left from Christmas at 90% off and we were both drawn to the bunnies. I loved this sparkly overpriced one….IMG_2923

This one reminded the girl of Narnia and wants me to split some tips over the next few weeks to buy it…..FullSizeRender(118)

Maybe it was Harvey last night? Maybe it’s because I see bunnies all of the time in the yard? I’m not sure why I am drawn to them but I was good and didn’t buy any of them.  The rest of the day was quiet and everything else seems insignificant after receiving the news…..Zia

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