Weirdest Weekend Ever!

Where did I leave off? Oh yeah Fifty Shades of Grey, I mocked the book so I don’t know what made me think that movie would be better? I was curious…same reason I read the books. I didn’t think that the actor that played Christian was attractive and I couldn’t get past the actress that played Anastasia rolling her eyes at her mother at whatever red carpet event they attended together. I didn’t find any of it “hot”.

It was very difficult to get up on Saturday morning but I did and started my day in a Yin class. I hit a few garage sales afterwards and that seems to be my new Saturday routine. It was a very beautiful day on Saturday, one of the few perfect Ohio days.FullSizeRender(7)

Saturday was fairly uneventful, although I did find a shower curtain with hooks for $3.00…..something a little lighter for summer. FullSizeRender(8)

Sunday morning the girl and I went to meet the Doctor and his wife that share their plants with me every year.FullSizeRender(11)

I went and bought a few more tomato plants and some herbs and the girl and I worked for many hours on garden bed number one….FullSizeRender(10)

My brother came over with my nephews and fixed the tractor and hopefully the wheel will stay on the lawn mower this time. My brother and the girl pushed the tractor up from the shed and there must have been a mouse in it. It is just sitting there in the grass looking dazed and confused so I yell to the girl to go get me a shovel and then I hear my nephew say “oh it’s so cute” I shot my brother a look and told him to get those kids out of here. He didn’t listen and now those boys have the image of their aunt bludgeoning a mouse to death with a shovel. There went my karma for that day… The boy came home from work and cut the grass and the girl and I finished the garden.

I still need to finish the second bed and I guess today was not that day. After I finished this one I went in and jumped in the shower. I had the boy drop me off at PT’s  just in case….and….well….just in case happened. Moscow Mules were the main attraction  at this tea party.FullSizeRender(9)

I had one Moscow Mule and switched to wine so I wouldn’t get trashed. I have thought about this all day and none of it makes sense. When I drink too much my speech is slurred and I usually end up throwing up and I spend the next day beating myself up while reliving the night before. Sadly that is my ritual.

I did shots of Jaeger twice in my past and I didn’t remember so I stopped drinking shots and I always remembered. Here is my theory and maybe I am just older now and can’t handle my alcohol and my theory is crap but it doesn’t make sense. PT lives in a safe condo community so none of us thought twice about getting up and walking over to L’s condo to try and get her to come back. We left our drinks unattended on the back patio. Could somebody have messed with them? Maybe? Like I said it’s a theory.

I remember T taking my phone and texting the boy that I was sleeping over, I text him back and said “Just pick me up on an hour” typo obviously. That is the last thing that I remember. He text me back being a smarty pants and said “which hour” my response was May 11th? The boy from my old job that has been Facebook messaging me asked me for my phone number earlier in the day so we could text….in my blackout stage I gave him my number and we sent a few texts back and forth. So I could spell and have a conversation? I don’t remember the boy picking me up or getting into bed. The boy said that I was saying random things on the car ride home but none of it made sense and my speech was not slurred. The girl said I was quiet and she didn’t even realize I was trashed until I called her from the bathroom. She walked into the hallway and I was on the floor with my head sticking out of the bathroom door. She said I was saying “where are you” so she tapped me on the top of my head and I looked up at her and giggled “I’m naked”. Mother of the year….I know.

I didn’t throw up, my speech was never slurred, and I don’t remember a thing. It’s 7:30pm the day after and I still feel like crap. I text PT and she was still on the couch and she said she was okay as long as she didn’t move. What the f**k happened? The boy needed a haircut and I had laundry to do so I had to move. I still feel a little woozy and nauseous and needless to say garden bed number two did not get done today. What a waste of a day……Zia


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Quirky Moments….

It has been a crazy week and these are the odd parts that made me smile….

There was a little old man…okay he was tall but still….and he was at my window checking out. When I brought him the credit card slip to sign I noticed he had a book, so I asked him “what are you reading?” He replied “Have you ever read Nora Roberts? I love her books!” It was one of the Donovan series and I don’t remember which one and he surprised me further when he said “I love Danielle Steele too and I have read everyone of her books” We continued our discussion while I scheduled his next appointment and this guy was definitely the patient of the day. :) I was so surprised.

The old men were just too cute this week. There was another man with his army hat on and I could see that he had on red white and blue suspenders on underneath his……cute little yorkie with a bow sweatshirt. His wife was cute in her red and and blue ensemble as well.yorkie_in_the_garden_t_shirt-rec4b5f137f6d411a8c94e23d69df7a37_804gs_324

This wasn’t the shirt but you get the idea.

One of the nurses brought in her grandson who happened to look just like Gage from Pet Semetary….not that I could point it out though….pet sematary gage

The girl and I went to the movie store and since they had Fifty Shades and I read the books, I picked up the movie. I laid it on the counter and said (to the owner that I know very well) “darn I should have checked my battery supply” She thought that was hysterical and proceeded to tell me how funny it is when people come in to rent that movie…..they all have a story… wife wants to watch it etc. Funny how my kid says “dad says it wasn’t like porn at all.” The owner and I exchanged a look as I stifled a laugh.

Speaking of the girl…..the highlight of her day was getting sprayed with dead formaldehyde laden fish juice at school. How is that for eewww? Dissection…..good times.

Those were my quirky moments this week and now I am off to watch some mommy porn…….Zia


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Road Trip Wednesday

I went with PT to drop off her car today, I am always up for a midweek adventure.


We dropped her car off and stopped at her sister’s summer house.


Pt spotted this little guy….I keep seeing them in the weirdest places, even when the snow was still falling.FullSizeRender(6)

We stopped and had the best dinner and discovered this tasty wine. PT even talked me into trying her crab cakes….it wasn’t horrible. I don’t eat any seafood ever…. but I tried it. I get points for that, right? I did have my first Beef Bolognese and wow was it incredible!


Next Wednesday we start our search for our “Cheers”….hopefully by then we will have a clever name for our midweek adventures…..Zia

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The Rest of That Thought…..

It’s all me……so many thought came bubbling to the surface last night and I just couldn’t find a way to coherently tie it all together. I’m not so sure that I will do a better job today but I will give it a shot.

I am the reason that every relationship I have ever been in ended belly up. Even the Cockroach story….he would have happily continued to live off of me forever. It’s always been me.

Don’t get me wrong I do like my space and I don’t mind being alone, and being in a relationship isn’t something that I am actively looking for……but I am single because of me. There it is…and I am taking responsibility for it.

That boy from the story last night wouldn’t have minded being in a long distance kid relationship but the realist in me (bet you didn’t think I had that in me) realized that he lived a half an hour away and I was starting high school….who wants to say that their boyfriend is still in eighth grade? People gave me too much credit for that relationship anyway. I remember visiting my old principal at her new school when my kids were little, she brought it up even then how I turned his life around. He wasn’t a bad kid, he just never had anyone believe in him before. I loved him as much as fourteen year old girl could….there was no sex…I was eighteen my first time…not fourteen.

I ran into him while Christmas shopping a few years ago and I did talk to him once on the phone after that but Cockroach had a hissy so that was that. It’s not so nice to know that I am remembered for being the first girl to break his heart.

I didn’t have another boyfriend until my junior year of high school and he sought me out, the same with my ex husband. They chase, I eventually breakdown, they do something that pings my scale of morality and I get my excuse and I walk away.

I thought I was in love with my high school boyfriend but honestly it was more of the “idea” of a boyfriend, plus he helped get that virginity thing out of the way.

I had fun with my ex husband and hey there were orgasms involved but I knew on my wedding day that it wouldn’t last. I can’t use the word mistake because I did get two great kids out of that deal. One of us had to be the grown up and didn’t appreciate being told that they were no fun.

I of course loved the worst of the bunch the most. ( my morality scale should have dinged until it was out of order) I do believe that he used me but I also believed that he loved me as much as his addiction would let him. It’s easier to remember only the bad things until PT points out that he loved the heck out of me….I guess he just loved the drugs more. Anger is how I got over it, I am less angry now but I still hope to never see him again.

That is my major record with boys….why would I want to add to that list? I just have to remind myself on those 6 or 7 days a year when I am lonely that I have nobody to blame but myself…..Zia


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Once Buried….Now Bubbling

Is Mercury in retrograde the culprit? Could it be all of the yoga? Is it as simple as a news story? I don’t know what it is but it was coming out in my Yin class tonight something fierce, somehow I was able to contain the emotion to a few streams and not a full on sob.

Things are very different now compared to thirty years ago in almost every way. My life forever changed then….the anniversary is coming up, which is why they ran the story on the news. This is how I remember the day….

I was very irritated that my little brother was coming with me to this party…I was the one graduating from 8th grade….who invited the 6th graders? Whatever… I was cool shit because I was on my way to high school. I was wearing my favorite plaid hot pink and black shirt and my pinstripe jeans and somebody thought it would be fun to throw me in the pool, so I changed into clothes that belonged to the girl who was having the party.tornado 1985

It was warm that day and I’m sure I had a perm or something because I don’t remember being concerned about my hair. I went on a walk in the woods with my boyfriend at the time, we ended up somewhere between second and third base that day….funny how I never let a boy come that close again until 11th grade. I never saw that boy again after that day (that I remember) until a few years ago.

We walked back and the sky was looking pretty dark, I retrieved my clothes from the dryer and changed back into them(in retrospect this was a bad idea and this was the last time I would wear them). We were all in the garage and I was sitting at a picnic table, backwards (legs not under the table) looking at one of the boys picking up a big piece of hail in the driveway, the hail started coming down harder so as he stepped in the garage and began pulling down the door someone to the right of me said “the just said a tornado touched down in a neighboring town”….the garage door hit the floor in slow motion as the windows blew out. I barely remember anything, I was a classic case of shock.

I remember grabbing onto one of my classmates older brothers and yanking on his shirt begging him to tell me it was just a dream. I don’t remember much more other than waking up in the hospital. Thank goodness the parents that hosted the party were drinkers because that is what they cleaned the wounds with. I can’t even imagine having a garage full of kids in the middle of a natural disaster. The father came to visit me in the hospital and told me that I said words he didn’t know girls my age knew… doesn’t count if I can’t remember it.

They took my brother to a different hospital than I was at, he needed surgery and still has a scar on his back from rolling with that picnic table. I had to wear a neck brace for awhile and have a few scars on my wrist that are barely noticeable….how is that for lucky?

They wouldn’t let anybody through and I can’t even imagine my mother being told that, I feel bad for the officer or national guard person, whoever it was that had to hold her back. I remember waking up in the hospital and my mom, my step monster, and my neighbor being there. I am not sure how to describe my relationship with my neighbor (he was my age)….I loved him more than a friend but never as a boyfriend…it’s weird I know….we kissed when I was 13 and that was the extent of that. I remember looking up at him and asking “how bad is my face?” flinching as he answered that my face was fine…I was so afraid of that answer,  but knew that he would never lie to me. He told me that he wasn’t leaving until he hugged me, and my mom was like “be careful don’t hurt her!”  She didn’t understand that he could never hurt me and that was the only way to assure him that I was okay.

Ever since that day I have been afraid of storms and if those sirens go off….all of us are in the basement. There was no warning that day and they didn’t throw around terms back then like do now. Today I learned that it was an F-5….I never knew that before. That was the day that I started questioning my mortality….Zia



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The former shirtless neighbor boy just about gave me a heart attack! Yikes poor kid… I refer to him as former because A. he is no longer my neighbor and B. he had his shirt on. He needed transmission fluid which I would have given him if I had any, he was with his girlfriend… today…he didn’t even introduce her. Maybe if I didn’t correct him when I answered the door?….nah kids today just don’t know. I corrected him because he said the store across the street “don’t got none” when referring to transmission fluid.  He had already called his mother or I would have offered to drive him to the gas station down the street….poor kid doesn’t have a chance to make it in this town. You know the type, sweet kid….loves his mother…hates his drunk ass father…..becomes his father because he can’t catch a break. Boy oh boy I would love to be wrong about this one.

Anywho it finally happened…..I had the worst day at my new job. New moon Monday brought out some crazy people and my day ran over an hour over. It is still a walk in the park compared to where I came from but it was a heck of a day.

Two patients caused a scene and the rest of the day was crazy busy. Force of nature girl and I went to lunch together and on our way to Panera’s there was a really bad accident and neither of us can figure out how exactly the truck ended up on it’s side like that. This is the girl that thought it would be fun to start the rumor that I am a witch because I make things…..if she only knew the history of that story. If you have read my words for a while….you totally get that. It’s just funny…what other choice do I have but to roll with it? She is hyper, she is funny, she is loud and to be honest…..I would pick the chair next to hers anytime. I work with some great people but there are two that I really,really like….. and she is one of them.

It was so nice that not a single person complained about having to stay over, I guess everybody is smart enough to appreciate their Wednesdays. I came from an environment where everyone felt privileged and did as little as possible everyday(not you little buddy)…..even on my worst day I am grateful for my new job.

I really was exhausted when I came home and didn’t do much….I did two loads of laundry, took a nap, and threw some tomatoes, bacon, pasta ,olive oil and romano cheese together for a quick dinner. I am thinking about making another batch for lunch tomorrow….that was pretty tasty…..Zia

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The Best Days are Rarely Planned

I had all kinds of boring things planned for today after breakfast at PT’s, laundry, playing in the dirt, cleaning and organizing, etc. As it turns out….I never left and it was a great day!FullSizeRender(3)

We had breakfast and talked and talked and the next thing we knew it was 2pm so she brought out some wine and cheese and now that bottle is in my landscaping. I had a really nice time we talked about everything and then some. Speaking of then/than I mentioned how I struggle with that and she said “yeah, I meant to tell you…” I am always grateful for constructive criticism especially if I am a repeat offender.

I really did have a great day! She has started watching Cheers on Netflix and it is making her miss our old hangout…I ruined that for me because I got involved with the Cockroach. I did throw it out there that we needed to do the research and find a new place….and doesn’t that sound like an adventure? :) Maybe just maybe my Wednesday night posts will get more interesting…this week it’s a road trip!!!

The kids, well the girl kept texting me….one time she text “are you still at Pt’s or gallivanting through town?”  When do I gallivant? Both kids were amazed that we could sit and talk for that long… was only eight hours….and time flies when you are having fun. I guess if we were watching movies or playing video games it would make sense?

I didn’t get a lot accomplished today and it was a nice change to just hang out……it wasn’t planned but it was needed.

There is some music award show on today and how many seventeen year old girls out there were freaking out a little because Van Halen was opening the show? Probably just mine….I was happy to see that Eddie Van Halen is looking a little bit healthier…..this was just a weird day…weird good but weird nonetheless……Zia

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Trash or Treasure?


I went to a few garage sales today and because I was in a development I was finally able to snap a picture of some babies! I usually spot them when I am on a road that you can’t exactly pull over to take a picture. This was when I was on my way home after a couple of hours of jumping in and out of the car and even getting rained on a few times.

I spent less than twenty dollars and found a few good buys. I bought a coffee bean grinder for $2.00, mine died about a year ago and I use it for herbs more than anything but I will use it. I found a gently used football hoodie for the girl, some sweaters for my future poncho projects ( I am thinking that everybody may get one for Christmas next year) a new purse…..still very small but at least I can carry with this one, the one I am using right now is too small for that. I lucked into a box of little brown glass bottles with droppers from a teacher. I picked those up for a $1.00 and the girl took the bonus magnifying glass. The house where I found those also had a section of baby clothes that were in individual ziploc bags with the size and brand written on every bag……if there was ever an award for most organized garage sale items this girl would win hands down.


I also found some ties because I want to give this project a try….not as a dress but as a top…..9f60a1a444e32bd9b11cf14b1d5e6a68

I did find a turkey head band for a child and I will have to come up with a way to get the dog to leave it on long enough to take a picture for the Thanksgiving card….that was a dollar too. Most of my buys today were to make other things and I am getting better because it wasn’t even hard to walk away from things that I normally would have brought home.

I did start on the wine bottle border today, with the girls help. I brought out my great uncle’s trident from the Korean war that normally lives right under my bed should I ever need to impale someone. I never use it (thank goodness) and it was perfect for starting the holes…FullSizeRender(2)

This is the beginning of the project, there is no mulch yet and it is too early to tell what is a weed and what is coming back up.FullSizeRender(1)

I think all of last years mulch washed away, I am hoping that this project will help with that. I am going to need many more bottles, this is about a third of what I will use.

I managed to get a little bit of organizing done today and I started another Saturday at yoga. Last night I didn’t do much other than some grocery shopping and the girl and I watched Pitch Perfect.

I am off to clean out the refrigerator….my Saturday nights are sooo exciting….Zia

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Funky Cloud


This was the funky cloud I spotted at lunch time today….I forgot my book so this is what happens when I am bored and outside….. I found a straight rainbow in a funky cloud! It was a little chilly but it was too nice to sit inside. If I had a blanket I would have laid in the grass and taken a little siesta…..I swear I really could nap anywhere. I hear people talking about watching t.v. in bed and I don’t get it…..I am asleep in less than three minutes of crawling into bed.

It was a crazy kind of day…the kind that made me google Mercury in retrograde dates…..that’s next week…yikes! It was a hell of a day and everybody survived.

My dad was in town… building stuff and we met him for dinner which is always weird. He really has no clue what is important to any of us, the kids did try though. I mostly just observed. He is totally gray now and has some wrinkles around his eyes but is still aging well I guess. The weird part is that I felt nothing. I didn’t feel sad for me because I don’t have a relationship with him and I didn’t feel sad for the kids either. I didn’t feel angry, I didn’t feel happy to see him…..I felt indifferent… sad is that? He tried to ask me questions about my life, I gave vague answers and steered him towards the kids. I am really good at avoiding things.

I have said it many times before but I really do believe that in this life I am destined to be surrounded by strong women and weak men…..Zia

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I Need to Feel It…


I took a candlelight vinyasa class tonight…..doesn’t that sound almost perfect? Unfortunately I found it lacking. SB was there and that was a nice surprise and while she likes the classes that are power and feel like exercise I like the ones that leave me feeling connected. I don’t mind sweating through the flows….maybe it’s the teacher? SB doesn’t like the Yin teacher and I understand why she thinks of her more like a military teacher….in a flow class. I took that class once too and never went back but her Yin class is incredible! Ashtanga kicks my butt every time I take that class but at the end I feel connected. I realize that I sound crazy but I need to feel it.

Do you remember yesterday when I said that I didn’t want to go back to the girl who does my hair color? I knew that she didn’t do it correctly but I didn’t know what she did until I went to get my hair cut today. Apparently she didn’t “pull it through” after she put it on my roots. Now I have to figure out how to break up with her… I think that it was a combination of me saying “go ahead and take a little more off since it’s summer” and the girl trying to make the bad color job less noticeable….but my hair is shorter than I normally like it. I really can’t pull it up properly because of all of the layers so I am not going to pass judgement yet.

I sent my neighbor’s crazy girlfriend a text today that basically said “if your offer still stands, go ahead and cut my grass” I had to do something the grass keeps growing, it doesn’t care that all of my equipment is down. The boy even does a better job…..that’s pretty bad. The part for the tractor came in today so hopefully my brother can get one of them working properly. I have a big yard (we’re talking acres) so 20 bucks to me was worth it…..even if it was a piss poor job. It’s still less that I have to battle later.

It wasn’t very eventful today but I do love my Wednesdays! :) …….Zia

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