I am sad to report that nothing exciting has happened this weekend. I had wonderful times with dear friends so it was a good boring. :)

I went to my Saturday morning Yin yoga class and stayed for the power class right after with SB. I had that shower last week and had to skip the power class and my body can’t afford to do that….I am hurting today. After class we went to a few garage sales….sweat and all. It was really disappointing, last year on this weekend I scored major deals….this year not so much. My best deal was a Halloween shirt NWT for only $3.00.IMG_1746

I found some movies for $1.00 a piece and Casablanca has never been opened.IMG_1748

It was nice to spend the day with SB but I was hoping for better deals…..no that’s not true. I was hoping to find the medium for my family history project like I did last year. It will come to me, I just prefer it earlier.

I started my morning today at PT’s for breakfast and as a bonus we had French toast outside. The first thing I saw when I sat down….was a huge dragonfly! It really is the best way to start the week.

The boy needed work pants so we went out in search of an affordable pair. He later did all of his laundry and cleaned his room….weird….very weird. They leave for their dads tomorrow for another week…ugh! Thank goodness it’s the last week of vacation he has this year.

My sister in law had a double direct sales party tonight and I took PT with me. The jewelry didn’t appeal to either one of us and while I was lured into the softness of the LuLaRue yoga pants……my ass has no business wearing patterns like that! We didn’t buy anything and went back to PT’s for a glass of wine and some conversation.

I didn’t get a lot accomplished but I spent some quality time with my two closest friends…..that is always more important than any chore that was missed…..Zia

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Blue Moon Friday!


I broke a personal rule and drove down to the lake, borderline trespassed, and took a picture of moon. The pinky color reflected in the water was the color of the moon, but I couldn’t capture it….believe me I tried. If I waited until it made it over the trees it would look like it did last night……..IMG_1738

The girl and I went out to get our favorite salad (not as good as PT’s) and they were packed! They didn’t seat another table after us and had to turn folks away…..we were very lucky!


I have to say…as full moons go…this one was quite calm. The weirdest thing that happened was a drunken FB message from a boy I haven’t seen since eighth grade. He is getting divorced….you know where this is going…geez. I will answer him tomorrow when I figure out how to say no without hurting his feelings and how to not mention that I don’t date. A friend told me to stop saying that. (thanks)  It’s been thirty years…I thought this was a little out of left field. He’s not even divorced yet, why do most men freak out about being alone? Maybe the question really is….why do I thrive when I am alone?

I have been away from the computer the last two nights because I was sucked into a book.123

I was leery at first especially when she spelled savasana, shavasana like it sounds. Once I got over that part, I really got into the story. It’s one of those books where you are “no don’t do that.” or “he is not your Jamie, stop wasting your time!” “look again at that writer…geez.” It was sweet, it was light…it was candy for your brain.

The main character Emma gets fired from her job, sells everything she owns, and books passage to Scotland to look for her “Jamie Fraser”. She starts a blog to document her travels and let me tell you…my blog is utterly boring in comparison. I rarely write about anything interesting….maybe I should work on that?

If you enjoyed the Outlander series then I think you may get a kick out of this book. I ordered it from the Kindle Unlimited which I  will cancel tonight, I can see myself reading this one again, so I may have to break down and buy it. (paper not kindle)

I hope wherever you are tonight that you get the opportunity to look up and enjoy the beauty of the full moon…..Zia

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I’m Melting…..

Honestly….I’m not being that dramatic, it’s 84 degrees in the house. I have found many deals today while being out and about trying to beat the heat. Today is 1/2 price day at Salvation Army and I think that I did excellent at $16. and some change. I found a pair of slide on summer shoes that fit my narrow feet for $2 and while I know it’s not necessary but it is fun I found a barely scuffed pair of tap shoes for $6.50. I have already danced around the house a few times in them. :)


I found three shirts for $1.00 a piece and a bathing suit that looks brand new for $5.00. IMG_1725I like the 2 piece with the skirts or the boy shorts, this one has a little skirt.

There was no way that I was cooking today so I took the kids to Steak and Shake, not because I like it, but because they do. They have a milkshake happy hour from 2-5, too bad we didn’t get our milkshakes until we were done eating our burgers. I had the mocha and it was horrible, I barely touched it. The kids were happy and that’s what is important.

Since I have been working on developing my style I thought we could hit a few furniture stores and see what I liked. We went through Value City furniture and I didn’t like a single thing. We then went to a locally owned store and I only liked the expensive ones, but I didn’t love any of them.


This one was the most comfortable but the fabric had lines in it, kinda like corduroy…..the boy didn’t like the lines.


This one was the second most comfortable but I think it looks a little too old ladyish even though I liked it.


I liked how this one looked with all of the pillows but I wouldn’t want to take a nap on it. Look=good…. comfort=bad


I’m gonna go out on a limb and say “I lean towards the earth tone color range” This one looked like suede but wasn’t? Who knows how well it would clean up, but it was pretty comfy.

IMG_1726Unrelated to couches/sofas….I look at this table every time I come here. I just like it I guess, it also comes in a pub height, I think I might like that more. It doesn’t really matter, I can’t afford any of it. I am just out there trying to get a feel for what I do like.

Before I forget…when I was leaving work today I noticed a bird that I have never seen in any tree before. So of course I have to try and take it’s picture, and it wasn’t until it flew away that I was sure that it was a baby, well teenager blue heron.FullSizeRender(64)

I’m still not sure how I noticed it, it was so still at first, I was even silently arguing with myself…it’s not a bird it’s a leaf and then it baby flew to another branch. It was pretty exciting.

My plan for the rest of the night is to read a little, shower, watch the news, and then turn my bedroom into a wind tunnel…..Zia

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No Way….

It’s been a rocky ride the last week so I think I will start out with some eye candy…..I can never get enough of this face and the voice is just a bonus. :)

My brother is driving me right up the wall….he thinks that he can fix this place up and keep it as a rental property. Did you ever see The Money Pit? My idiot father is telling him it’s a no brainer…I am out and they can do whatever they want. Even my mother said it would be cheaper to knock this place down and start over…..may she rest in peace.  I wish him well but mostly I am scared for him. Not my circus…not my monkeys….I’m out.

I met with my old boss (2 jobs ago….well same job just before the merger) today after work and I don’t know what he is thinking? He basically said he wants to hire me at less money to help boost his business. Ummm no thanks? His second part of the offer was to go over the old account list to see what interest I could generate….that I can do. I know that this is all stemming from the fact that his daughter is pregnant and will need time off next year but I like my new job way too much to leave. Somethings never change…he spent half of the time looking at my boobs….that’s not where my eyes are. He has never been subtle when he stares, I used to chalk it up to an eye level thing, but we were sitting so that theory is thrown out the window. If you can’t look me in the eye when you are speaking to me, that leads me to believe that you are not sincere. With all of that said, I would still network with the accounts that I don’t get to talk to anymore. Maybe I can help him get some new accounts? It would be fun to catch up with those that I used to talk to on a daily business. I can give a few hours a week but I am not giving up my new job.

The kittens are doing well at their new home but the girl is not speaking to me…..she’ll get over it…..Zia


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Cat Scratch Fever

Two down and six to go….maybe five. We had a kitten explosion this year at my house and tonight I gave away two. The little gray one put up a heck of a fight and not only scratched but bit my coworker who was taking her….the drew blood kind of bite. The way I understand it and I could be wrong is….that you can only get cat scratch fever from a kitten. The girl (who is not speaking to me because I gave away her black kitten) has always been careful when handling the wild kittens. I immediately poured peroxide over it and will bring her antibiotics left over from my spider bite if she doesn’t have any but geez. I can’t in good conscience keep feeding the feral cats and one day just move and the gravy train stops….they have to go. The kids go with their dad soon for another week and my plan is to trap them all and give to the animal shelter. They all have a chance except for the sperm donor Tom cat…I despise that cat….maybe after they chop off his boy parts?


Well….that got mixed reviews. Both of my brothers took that moment to call me back and the dirty deed is done, they are now aware of the bankruptcy. The youngest of my brothers is more concerned than anything, but my middle brother?  I have no idea what he is thinking or why he has to talk it over with my sister in law? Whatever, the hard part is done…they know and it can’t be fixed which is what my middle brother is now thinking. I’m done….he can do whatever he wants.  I guess I have earned the title “crazy sister” and I agree that while I know I  do things in an unconventional way, people who “get me” don’t think that I am all that crazy.

This is no longer about what is best for everybody else this is what I need to do for me. It might be rocky for a while but afterwards it will be so much better. This has always been my mom’s house, it has never been mine and that was not for a lack of trying. I can’t move forward while holding onto the past….just like Elsa said….”let it go!”…Zia



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Living in Limbo

I am still uncertain about which way I will go, although if this morning is any indication the sooner I get out of this house the better.  I had creepy little leprechaun outside at 9am with a chainsaw as close to my bedroom as he could be……yes I know that tree has to come down, but if I decide to let the bank take it…..I’m not paying to take it down. He thinks he’s being subtle, maybe it would be different if I didn’t know what a creep he was? The minute I clicked add new post I could hear the muffled screams coming from the crazy lady that lives with my neighbor in front of me…..ugh!  It’s 10:30 am and it is already 78 degrees in my house and the neighbors are fighting…..yep I am over everything about living here.

When I was over at PT’s on Thursday one of the things that we talked about was the tattoo on the back of my neck. I found this symbol…


I thought it would cover up this “not the symbol of the Goddess that I picked”FullSizeRender(60)

I had wanted to stop and talk to…. we’ll just call him the tattoo guy, but I always associated him with the Cockroach people. PT pointed out that he never liked Cockroach, I guess I never knew that. We were on our way to get ice cream when I said “you know I kissed him once, and it was kinda like kissing my brother.” PT replied with “I kissed him a lot and it wasn’t anything like kissing my brother.” I had to stop and think..okay I did know that. That summer was a long time ago, most people behave like that in their college years, you know when they’re 20. I did not, I squeezed all of that into one summer when I was 34. Back to the tattoo, I am tired of being embarrassed about it because it’s wrong so I found another symbol of the triple Goddess that I liked, most people will just think it’s a labyrinth and I’m okay with that. My hair will cover it anyway, this is just for me.

I have been getting  so many compliments on my Zoisite pendant lately, I think it is probably because I work with the public now. If I have already shared it then I apologize for repeating myself, it’s just such a part of me. Most Zoisite pieces have more green in them, mine has more of the ruby, I can only see the green on the back of the stone. I have a variety of gemstone pendants, moonstone, amethyst, onyx,lapis, etc. It was when I decided to start wearing some of my other stones that I had the dream that said “put your Zoisite back on” so I did. If I had regular water over the silver eating sulfur water that I have now, I would never take it off. FullSizeRender(61)

The Italian horn belonged to my mother….who was not Italian, but it is a piece of her that I wear everyday.

Speaking of family, the girl and I had a wedding shower yesterday and guess who won a centerpiece? Me! That never happens and it looks so pretty in my living room.FullSizeRender(62)

I don’t expect them to last very long in this heat but I will get to enjoy them for a few days.

My aunt’s sister in law also brought me a present. Her son is exceptional with a camera and he captured this eagle on film and it’s just perfect. I have always loved my birds of prey and now I get to look at it everyday. I am very lucky.IMG_1704

I had another picture in this frame and it didn’t look nearly as good as this. This frame was made for this photo.

The girl and I are going to go through more stuff out in the storage building today. There is a place down the street that is like a little indoor flea market and SB rents a spot for $30.00 a month. I think I might check it out today. I can get rid of some of my nicer things…hopefully? If I sell three book page wreaths per month at $25.00 then it would be worth it. I’m just thinking about it right now……Zia


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I thought maybe I would sleep better last night, I guess I was wrong. Maybe it’s stress, maybe it’s the mattress, or maybe there is some animal that wakes me up every night? All I know is that it takes me less than three minutes to fall asleep once I crawl into bed and forever to fall asleep after I wake up in the middle of the night. My eyes are always so tired when I wake up…

Speaking of eyes, I brought the girl to work at lunch time so she could get her eyes checked. She kept saying everything is fine, I see clearly, I don’t need to go…her power jumped from a -2.75 to a -3.25. That’s a big jump. She is wearing her new contacts now and says that she can’t tell a difference, “It’s a small house” is what she said. Kids!

I have tossed different thoughts off of a few people today, and PT is back so I talked with her as well. I know it’s a tough choice and I can’t do anything until I have a few more facts. My boss knows somebody in real estate so she is going to check out the buying a house “as is” info that I need and the selling it as a lot option. One of the doctors is selling an old car but I have to wait until Monday to talk to him.

All I do know is that when a friend says “wanna go get some ice ream?” the correct answer is always yes. Thanks PT and I’m glad your back!FullSizeRender(59)

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. I have an appointment to get my hair cut tomorrow and a bridal shower Saturday. I have come to grips with the fact that I won’t be able to do back to back yoga classes Saturday morning, I fought that idea. The shower starts a noon and there is no way that is going to happen…….Zia

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What Would You Do?

I met with the bankruptcy lawyer today and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I am hoping now that I will be able to sleep soundly and through the night…..hopefully?8c146500d714d68247e14eaf93b9922f

I have choices to make now, choices that I was not sure that I would have. Maybe you might throw out some advice?a3fcc023d01cb82f2a959541d0b13980

I could keep the Kia lease as long as I am current and keep paying on it. Let’s be honest I have never been able to afford this car, even as I have been squeaking by on the $242.00 per month payment, the extra insurance that you have to carry on a lease is just crazy….$90.00 just on insurance. What the heck would I drive? I have no idea…..so should I try and keep it or let  it go?  My gut says let it go….


Then there is the house…same deal. If I keep the house can I sell it as is? There are nicer houses than mine in this neighborhood that have had to have whole septic overhauls before the house can sell. I know that the septic is outdated and too close to the house, which would fail new standards, the roof over the boys room still leaks some, the driveway is crumbling, the basement still backs up by the drain, I am 80% sure that there is mold…maybe black in the basement which explains my nose, there is a looming tree over my neighbors shed…..which all means that I may not be able to sell it as is. I would be totally screwed then….if I stop paying now then I could be saving up for 1st and last months rent.

What about this face?IMG_0700

It’s really hard to find an apartment that will take a dog. I have no idea what to do???  My gut still says let it go….d7c2edb66184bf067b9616b1555825f1

I just don’t trust myself to be right….in this case anyway.e88f85de6815124185bdb1143ae5db5d

I have tons to think about and weigh my pros and the one or two cons…

I dragged the girl with me today when I went to my Wednesday Salvation Army trip, it amazes me the amount of super hero t-shirts that she was able to find. She even found a vintage…seriously from the 70’s …Star Wars shirt for $1.50. Kohls had a new Batman and Flash t-shirt on sale 2 for $20.00. This is what our back to school shopping is like…..super hero is the way to go.

I brought food over to the boy, cooked dinner and washed our purchases. He was all about some Pokemon stream so he was ready for us to leave asap. That is where I am now. My mind is racing through different scenarios, no one can say now how it will end…..just that it needs to end…..Zia



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Love is For Suckers……Most Days

I would like to start with the sweetest little old couple that came to my window at work today. He was just making an appointment and she was getting post cataract glasses. I don’t even remember how it started but she broke off into “what’s new pussycat” with a voice soft and sweet like a tingling of bells, the way only someone who has lived more than eighty years can sound. She smiled and said “sometimes I will sing this song and he will dance me around the house.” Most days I will tell you that love is for suckers except for the very rare…this adorable couple was rare. They were so cute, I swear I should just start documenting this stuff at work because it loses something hours later when I retell it.

Here is the song for all of you who are too young to get the reference. Trust me the lady had a sweet voice that I preferred over this video.

The rest of the day was pretty normal, nothing exciting. I did meet RD after work for a drink and that was fun. It’s been a really long time, that happens some times with me…I go through spurts where I am available all of the time and then there I times I spend too much time with myself. I am a very confusing…wait, complex sounds better…..I am a very complex creature at times. Let’s go with that…..Zia

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It’s Been Three Whole Years….


I was in the middle of my perimenopausal rant yesterday when the little icon popped up and said happy anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been three years already. It amazes me that people continue to read my words, comment, and do it all over again. Some of you have been with me for the whole ride and I can’t say thank you enough. I don’t know what I expected from the start but I never expected to find the support and community that I have found. I can’t thank you enough….thankyou_heart

I had the last meeting of the writing workshop tonight, it was a wonderful experience. I will admit that I held back, I just dabbled and kept it fun and I learned so much. I am ready to get busy on the story in my head and I promise after a few solid chapters…..just in case it fizzles….I will share it with you.

The rest of the day was just spent trying to beat the heat…oh and I had a hot flash at the workshop….so embarrassing.It passed but geez, it’s 90 degrees…crank up the air! This coming from a person with no air at home, just a wind tunnel. :)

I hope all of you have a great week and again, thank you so much for being here…Zia



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