I Chose Sleep

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The last couple of days I just couldn’t shake the ick that I was feeling.  Maybe I just needed some down time?  Monday I took a forty five minute nap and still went to bed early. I know that my eyes feel tired in the morning because of allergies and believe me I have a drop for that, but I prefer to wear my contacts. My thermostat is also off….I am always the warm one and lately I have been cold a lot. This is probably some new peri menopausal thing and my hormones are going wack a doodle again. If that is the case…. please let it be the skinny hormones.

Yesterday Force of Nature girl brought me this.IMG_3626

Her little boy found it and she brought it to work for me. This is technically my second turkey feather. I just haven’t received the one from BV yet. I have a thing for wings so the more the merrier.  One of the doctors also brought me an aloe plant that her mother in law split.IMG_3627

It’s a nice big plant, tomorrow I will have to grab my nice planter on wheels to transplant it in.  I usually do fairly well with succulents as an indoor plant.  I got as far as buying some potting soil for my big barrel planters for my container garden. I even grabbed more pots this morning from the old house. The sweet optometrist who usually gives me my plants called the lab where I used to work to get word to me that he had plants ready if I wanted them. That truly is the sweetest thing, it’s those kind of people that I miss from the lab. Sadly I had to tell him no but will get a thank you card in the mail asap.

Yesterday was full of gifts and sweet thoughts and I still went to bed early.

Today after work I stopped at the Salvation Army to check out their half price day. I found a few things, nothing major. I need some things for summer but I refuse to buy anything new. I WILL lose weight, I will. This 152 pounds thing is for the birds. I am 5’5 minus the 1/2 inch I shrunk, thirty pounds need to disappear stat, I can’t take it anymore!  Okay…enough bitching about that.

Moving onto tonight. I met SB and we went to an essential oil seminar. Basically it was a sign up to sell doTerra kind of thing. She is such a good sport. After we had our little discussion about this seminar and the similarities of the snake oil salesman I signed up for a party….I mean class at my home at the end of next month.

You can look for answers in everything. That is how people get scammed all of the time. I am going to ask your opinion on this one. There is nothing at stake, I already use and will continue to use essential oils. I just thought this hit a little bit too close to home.

There is this little tool that they have that does a scan of some sort and tells you what oils you need and or are lacking.  You will be happy to know that I amazed them with my low score. I scored a 34 and SB scored a 114.  They then give you a list of helpful essential oils.FullSizeRender(15)

Here is the scary accurate part…..check out the oils that I need. IMG_3630

If you have read my blog for any length of time then you know….

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Then there is this last one….I think this one would help me with my writing…..IMG_3632

I thought the suggestions hit pretty close to home, although I don’t know if there is enough Geranium oil out there to help me……Zia

 

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So Weird….

This weekend was off the charts with the weirdness. I can throw it out there that it was a full moon…..a blue moon….Mercury in retrograde was finishing up and Mars hasn’t been this close in eleven years…..yikes! 

Making dinner for the kids and lunch for  myself, Force of Nature Girls and our OD tomorrow has turned into a weird Karaoke session….maybe I am bordering on one glass too many of wine?….yet here I am. I started off listening to Frank and Dean thinking of my canning CD….which led to Disturb’s Sound of Silence….which led to Simon and Garfunkle…which took a left turn to Blackmore’s Night…and The Ghost of a Rose CD which is where I am now.

 

My weekend started on PT’s patio with L and some wine and some cheese. PT and I caught up before L ever got there. It was a nice night, the perfect temperature and little bugs.  We drank our wine and ate our cheese and L shows up drinking Dunk and Donuts hot chocolate….at least she didn’t give me some ominous warning about being alone….It really was a nice time and my most social hour of the weekend.

The girl and I did our running around so I could rush to work and make a whopping $13.00 on Saturday. So not worth my time…..luckily those days have been few and far between.  I came home watched Outlander, cried and went to bed…..it was an emotional episode.

I did get the girl a list of the top schools with a geology program so we know where to start and I can get a grasp on where we we can live. The choices span the country and I am trying to take out the beach so she can follow her dreams….I can always go to the beach, right?  This isn’t about me, it’s about her….I guess it doesn’t matter how old and wrinkly I am before I realize my dreams…..although if she picks the local college, I may just leave her with her father and go. I feel such a strong pull to “not” be here….I can’t even explain.

I think that I fallen into some sort of scary pattern….one that I have nothing to write about and one that you definitely don’t want to read about…..Zia

 

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The Rest of Yesterday

The was more to my day yesterday, I didn’t mention it because I was off on a tangent. It is not my circus, not my monkeys and I don’t have to see it anymore. Does it still bother me? Heck yeah it does, but I can’t control any of it and I will never see these people again, on Facebook or in real life.

PT met me at the body shop where I dropped off my car, unfortunately he had to order a part. Hopefully everything is good to go tomorrow. On my way there I passed one of the local bars that was advertising a $6.00 pizza so when PT mentioned that she was starving, I suggested the pizza. I had never been in there and I thought $6.00 was an excellent price to feed two of us for lunch. It was tasty as well and it gave us a chance to catch up.

We left there and went to PC’s parents house. I feel so bad for her, she almost brought me to tears a couple of times. I’m not going to air her sad news but the reason we were there was because she needs to clean out her parents house. She didn’t want a dime for anything, she has such a big heart. I get all misty eyed when I think about it. She is giving me a sofa table for lack of a better word. It’s long and narrow, will hold a knick knack or two and a lamp. The lamp I already have…..IMG_3612

She also gave me the little table that the lamp is on. I am hoping to use that as an end table. I liked the crystal drops on this lamp, but the shade was a little outdated. Force of Nature Girl had offered me a lamp shade last week and at the time I said no. I am lucky that she still had it. What a difference a shade makes…..IMG_3614

I still haven’t called my cousin to see if he can pick up the table and the Asian cabinet that PT is taking.  I’m sure he will, I just have to remember to ask.

I was looking for a specific throwback Thursday picture tonight. It was one of KB and I when we were dressed up for Halloween. We waitressed together when we were 16 and she was dressed up as a devil and I was a witch. I could only find the one of me holding a coffee pot. I stumbled on to a picture of me that I forgot all about.IMG_3616

This was me at a wedding. Yeppers, inside that door were people laughing and dancing and having a good time. I would rather stand outside and read. I probably was standing because I was afraid to sit down since my dress was white.  Even then I would rather be alone. My brothers were younger and if any of my cousins were born, they were babies. I was the first. The first born, the first grandchild, the first niece….I was it. I don’t ever remember feeling lonely and I never minded being by myself. That part of me has never changed. I am still an avid reader, minus the last few months….I’ve been a little busy.

I am still not a huge fan of weddings, but now I know there is such a thing as an open bar. I hold a glass of wine in place of a book.  My brothers aren’t so annoying and can carry a conversation and my cousins are grown up. I have peeps….. so it isn’t quite as horrible.

The full moon on Saturday has rocked my week. I don’t know what things have been like in your neck of the woods but it has been wild and crazy over here. Or as Force of Nature Girl has been saying “this week is stupid!”  Tomorrow is Friday and the full moon is Saturday so hopefully things start to calm down……Zia

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Mean Girl

0f73c3c29a2f1330ac7805d83bf85424Have I mentioned that I am starting to question staying on FaceBook again? The girl just rolls her eyes and says “just don’t look at it.”   It’s not that easy for me and I waste roughly 1/2 hour a day scrolling through the posts.

Today I was scrolling down and stopped on a post from my cousin (one of the ones that I will never see again from the south) and I almost fell off of my chair. You know me and you know how rare it is for me to take the side of a man, but in this case, he is the victim.  My cousin destroyed his life….at least the praying mantis has the courtesy to kill her mate when she is done with him.  They have 5 or maybe 6 kids together….I can’t verify that since I have unfriended her. 

This is what I know….  They started dating in high school. He followed her around like a little puppy dog giving in to her every whim. She wasn’t even nice to him then. I remember my aunt telling me how mean she was. He stayed with her through school and worked while she went to nursing school. To be an R.N. is a big deal but I think that some people are dangerous with too much knowledge. I remember when her 14 year old sister got pregnant and she tried to get her middle sister to give her a poison to get rid of it. Crazy? I know!

She decided that she wanted to get married so what she wanted, she received. She pumped out baby after baby. Everyone of those kids are just one year apart. She worked and her whipping boy stayed home and changed the diapers, made the elaborate cakes for the birthdays and did whatever she told him to. This past year…..she got a bug up her butt.  This poor man has already attempted suicide once.

Today she posts about the new man in her life and how happy she is and what a wonderful stepfather he is to the kids. What???!! They aren’t even divorced yet!  My aunt says that he stops over and sits there and weeps. He is destroyed and lost and he never deserved any of this.

You could say that she was always a bitch and he knew what he was getting into, but no human being deserves to be crushed in this way. Obviously it bothers me or I wouldn’t be sharing it with you. I will never see this cousin or this part of my family ever again and now I won’t see her pretending to be what she is not on social media……Zia

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Fish Out of Water

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Whew, what a day!  The front desk girl at one of our satellite offices called off and nobody wanted to go. I knew that I wasn’t taking my car on that trip but I volunteered to meet the optician at a local grocery store, so I went.  My office manager is on vacation this week and our hive doesn’t behave well without it’s queen. I may have been out of my natural habitat but it was quiet. Even though I didn’t get home until 6:30, I still think that I got the better half of this deal.

I was surprised at how cute this office was. Yes it’s small but it’s clean and it wasn’t in a bad neighborhood. It wasn’t at all as the other girls described it.  The doctor was very nice and the patients were patient…since I didn’t know where anything was. I have met the tech before and a very long time ago I worked with the optician at the lab. Some of the other girls think he is creepy. Maybe it’s because I have known him for so long that I don’t see that?  Oh well, it was a nice quiet break for me.

Meanwhile…..at the mothership…….it was chaos. Okay, it really is chaos everyday but today there were attitudes flying everywhere on top of the chaos. It’s too complicated to explain but when our OD gets upset, it’s bad.  It bothers me that the techs in the back don’t give her the same respect as our big boss because she is an OD, not a MD. That woman busts her butt everyday and doesn’t deserve the attitudes she gets sometimes. She doesn’t even get a break when she gets home. Her adorable three year keeps her on the run at home, and if that’s not enough she will run an occasional marathon.  She is one of the nicest people I have ever met and her patience knows no limits.  I am glad I decided to take a field trip today.

On my way home I turned right at a red light and noticed that my car was all of a sudden really loud.  I made it home and looked under the car. Everything was still attached but the muffler was at a funny angle. I was on the phone with one cousin who made me an appointment with his cousin from his other side of the family and his brother came over and reinforced the position of my muffler with a coat hanger. My car is really loud now, you can hear me coming a mile away. It’s so embarrassing.  It’s for one day, I can handle that…right?

It was quite the day today……Zia

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Why Do I Have That?

Does anyone remember the giant Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock? This is how I feel about my clutter.trash heap

I am trying my best to get rid of stuff and not repeat the same patterns. I have a small part of my desk that is collecting some things and the kitchen table. In this case it’s the girl who keeps cluttering the kitchen table, and leaving her shoes everywhere, her stuff is just everywhere.

I didn’t have a whole lot of time last week to go through stuff between work and the weather (there is a lot in the garage). I lost most of my moving momentum and since the sun is supposed to shine this week I am hoping I will regain some of it.

I finally went through that dresser that I keep talking about. How many pairs of glasses do I need? Only one has my current prescription and is in a frame that I really like. I think that I only need one back up…..but I am keeping two and I am donating two.

Sweatpants and tshirts that I haven’t worn in years are now in a big bag for Goodwill or Salvation Army.  How many pairs of ill fitting jeans should one girl keep?  I let go of most of those as well.

Does anybody have advice for photo storage?  I am not referring to the family heirloom photos. I am talking about all of the pictures that I have of the kids when they were little. Moms you know the ones “Oh he made an expression!”….so why don’t I take fifty pictures of it.  I have a lot of the girl as well. I went a little crazy with the pictures when my kids were small. The ideal plan if it exists and isn’t crazy expensive would be an online or cloud or digital storage with the option to make books. Not the chunky scrapbook books but a yearbook size book that fits nicely on a book shelf. It’s a thought and it’s one of my challenges. Family pictures are my thing so I have a hard time letting them go.

The last few days I have decided to stop pinning and start trying some of the things that I have pinned on Pinterest. I made this salad for my lunch today and it was really tasty.

http://thecozyapron.com/cozy-cameo-taking-a-bite-out-of-the-big-honey-crisp-apple/

Force of Nature Girl stuck a fork in it to give it a try and I could keep her out of it. We had a drug rep bring in Chipotle for lunch and I didn’t eat any of it. This salad was very filling and I had no problem passing on the free lunch.

I honestly think that if I didn’t make a list, nothing would get done. I was overly ambitious with my list tonight. I didn’t finish everything but I feel like I accomplished something……Zia

 

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How is This for Weird?

Thursday night I had a dream. This dream was so real that I had to ask the girl a thing or two in the morning just to make sure. dreams-woman

I think that I may have had bits and pieces of this dream before. Both kids were here on this night so I know it was a dream. The noises coming from the basement in my dream were so loud that my bed was rattling. That was the question that I asked the girl the next morning. “Did your bed shake last night?” Since her answer was no and there was no mention of an earthquake on the news, I will go out on a limb here and say it was a dream.

It wasn’t like when I dreamed about the wolves. I was able to describe a thing or two in that dream. This dream was all noise and commotion coming from the basement so much so that bed rattled and it felt real. I have had recurring house dreams for the last fifteen years or so, maybe longer. I know that the house means me but I don’t know why I am making so much noise. I am pretty sure that the basement means your subconscious but I could be wrong. I have no idea what it means but it has bothered me for a few days.

Book club was last night and the girl wanted to tag along.  I never finished it, the book, the mini series, or the movie. I tried all three. With the book and the mini series I kept falling asleep, the movie was okay I just ran out of time. I was not the only one who struggled with reading Pride and Prejudice, more than one of us fell asleep. We actually stayed on topic for most of book club this time. That is a rarity in itself. I laughed a lot last night, so did the girl. It was a great time.pride-an-prejudice-2005-pride-and-prejudice-5671733-1280-1024

Hopefully I will finish the movie tomorrow, I have to watch Outlander tonight….gotta get my Jamie fix. The girl was watching Black Sails when I came home early from work so I hopped on the computer before I become one with the couch. I don’t need another show that I don’t have time to watch…..Zia

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Wherefore Art Thou Muse?

I think that my muse may be on strike? Maybe she doesn’t think I am serious enough? Maybe it’s because this week I am lacking motivation in a big way? Some of my characters have conversed in my head this week but not as much as normal AND I haven’t written any of it down. Go ahead and shake your head at me….I am shaking my head at myself. I even had a dream two nights ago about a wolf, which is relevant to my story. Don’t worry it’s not in a  lycanthrope way, just a wolf. Wolf usually means teacher? Only time will tell with this one….

We had a patient the other day and since I can’t use her real name I came up with one that  is similar. Her name was Ceridwen Haliday, and I had to ask her how to pronounce her name more than once. She explained to me that her name is Welsh and then started naming off her siblings. She was sixty-ish with red hair and a pixie cut. Personally I think that the 60 is really 600 and she is just visiting from the North Pole long enough to have cataract surgery and then it is back to making toys.  She lives by herself smack in the middle of the hood, she has to be a Christmas Elf.  She even referred to it as “the old neighborhood.” In my head Christmas Elf is what she will be for as long as she is around.

Force of Nature Girl’s kids had no luck with dandelions, I guess she sprays her yard. I wouldn’t have used those anyway. Our optician picked some for me and I added them to what the girl picked.IMG_3599

The girl has to do something for school Saturday in a park, maybe I can get her to pick some more?  It’s pretty warm today, almost 80 and Sunday they are calling for snow showers….yep that’s Ohio.  I am going to do some container gardening and I am extra glad that I waited. I took three big barrel planters from the old house, one will be my future fairy garden and the other two will be for food.

In honor of the heat I opened a bottle of Chardonnay. It’s been a long time since I had something that wasn’t red. I thought the Slow press matched my theme of “not writing enough” tonight…IMG_3598

I grabbed a bunch of framed pieces from the old house this morning, that and my totes of wool sweaters (to cut apart). One of the bigger frames was a collage that I did of the kids when they were little. Sadly everything is still in the car but I took a picture of this one for the girl to show her friends. There was a conversation at lunch….I remember her mentioning it so I sent it via text. For years that kid walked around with Eric or Ariel hanging out of her mouth. I actually found a set at a garage sale years ago that had everyone. Ursula and King Triton were the first to be lost so I was excited. I haven’t come across it yet, I hope it didn’t have street value that I wasn’t aware of?….It’s just stuff…..FullSizeRender(14)

All I did is blink and now she is grown up? How did that happen? She had a lot of toys but the Prince Eric and Ariel were played with the longest and she took them everywhere.  That was yesterday and a million years ago. Time is a funny thing…..ZiaFullSizeRender(11)

And this is a bunny thing……it was funny in my head.:)

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This, That, and the Other

Did anybody else struggle with getting out of bed this morning, or was it just me? I am never one to jump out of bed and start the day but this morning was harder than normal. Maybe it was because I worked yesterday? All I do know is I was dragging ass this morning.

Mother’s day wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t as busy as I thought it would be. It was probably a good thing since we have so many new people. I was told that anytime I wanted to throw my hat in the management ring to just let the owner know….and no thank you. Sure I could do it, but I don’t want to do it. First I like my real job and second I remember the drama that comes with full time serving.  I cringe just thinking about it.  The day went pretty smoothly, everyone was nice except for my first table…that woman was a bitch.  I know that I sound mean but it’s the truth.

I even managed to get out of there at a decent hour, I was home by five. The girl and I ran out to run a few errands. At one of out stops I was sucked in by the new Altered Couture magazine. There are two project that I want to try this week.IMG_3588

Black t-shirts, bleach, and fabric markers…..this project has my name all over it.  I also want to try this scarf, it’s a simple twist on a plain scarf.FullSizeRender(13)

I know there are other things that I should be doing but sometimes I just have to make things.  There are a couple of dandelion concoctions that I want to try as well.  The girl and I collected some. I am hopeful that Force of  Nature girls boys get a bunch for me tonight. I offered them a dollar a baggy for dandelion flowers, I guess I will see tomorrow if that worked.

I feel like I am behind in a way. In trying to keep up with everything while handling the day to day stuff with the occasional curve ball….I haven’t unpacked or organized a lot lately.  Oddly have the itch to clean out my dressers. I really wanted to do it before I put the drawers back in during the move but that was crazy talk. Maybe tomorrow? We left work late tonight and by the time I made dinner and cleaned up, it was time to sit here and type.  I do have a new batch of coconut oil mixed with coffee grounds on my face at this moment.  It sounds weird but it really does work wonders on the skin.

Tomorrow is a new day and I am hoping to accomplish something…….Zia

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Harder Than I Thought

The girl is pretty easy going and I know that I am always singing her praises, but this prom thing……I am just happy that we both survived. Every time I said, let’s try this on? Did you walk around in those shoes? How do you want to do your make up? Etc….etc.  “It’s fine mom….we don’t need to buy that, this works just fine”….The day comes. She is nervous and snappy and I am uncertain and snappy, it’s a miracle we both survived. Notice how I keep using the word survived?

The clock is ticking and we are running about ten minutes behind. I know I am pushing her, but we are late.  I fly like a bat out of hell to the park and when we exit the car the girl rips the bottom off of the shoes that Blondie gave her.IMG_3537

Oh and she broke a fake nail as well.  The one kid said to her “you just get here and already things are happening?”  I am so glad I made her bring flip flops, I knew she wouldn’t wear those shoes all night but this? Who does this happen to?  Oh no….I just realized another thing that the girl inherited from me…yikes!

In the end all the kids seemed happy and ready to make memories. I can’t wait to get the play by play when she gets home.FullSizeRender(12)IMG_3562

There was one boy who was going with the three girls, all of them were going as friends. His mother and grandmother made these sweet corsages for all of the girls, and the ring that the girl is wearing was my moms.

I was so stressed from the running at the end, it took me a while to calm down. RD stopped over for some wine and cheese for her birthday and I was still stressed when she got here. I don’t know why I get like that? Everything was over at this point? Maybe because it was my kid who ripped the bottom off of her shoe exiting the car as soon as we got there?

It’s difficult to dress a child who doesn’t dress up, and even harder to apply make up to a face that doesn’t wear it. I am so grateful that she stepped up to the plate and put on her own mascara.  I was worried I was going to poke her in the eye, at least I work in the right place if that was to happen. Thankfully it didn’t.  I hope she is having the time of her life right now…..

Nothing much has been going on over here. I came home Thursday after work and sat down and started watching Grace and Frankie,I am four or five episodes in. It’s hard to find a nice 30 minute show that is quality, I like this one.

One of the girls from work went with me to Chiles on Thursday were they had $5.00 El Presidentes. I love those, we only had one since we were driving. She was the one who told me about Grace and Frankie.FullSizeRender(10)

That and wine taste were my only social outings this week. That’s one more than usual. :)   My story was swirling pretty strong in my head this morning, I just need to get it on paper before I lose it.  I swear morning is my best time for the flowing of the story……Zia

PS. Happy Mothers Day to all of the moms tomorrow. I have to work so I am not sure if I will make it here or not?

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