What To Say?

Do you remember when I said that I needed to write to Dolly Parton? I had the sparkles from the Universe and everything but I still haven’t done it. Every time I sit down and try, I end up talking myself out of it. What in the world am I even supposed to say to her? I’m not even sure why I am being nudged to write the letter?

I received a package yesterday from my dear friend MK. It was full of handmade gifts which as you know are my favorite and at the bottom of the box….was a book called “What Would Dolly Do? I even said out loud “you have got to be kidding me?” I picked up some herb books from the library today and the first one I looked at had a Dolly Parton quote in the first few pages. The Universe is not letting up so I am going to have to sit down and write that letter, even though I haven’t the faintest idea what I will say or if she will even read it.

Other than that, there hasn’t been much to write about….as three military planes fly over the neighborhood while I’m typing those words??? What is that about? It sounded like the house was about to take off!  Fingers crossed nothing is brewing out there because that was kind of scary…

Work has been chaotic the last two days, not bad per say, just chaotic. Even when I was out and about the energy felt almost bipolar? It was like happy people, grumpy people, happy people, grumpy people. Maybe I’m just noticing more because I haven’t been drinking? I guess I never realized how much drinking two glasses of wine a night dulled my senses…actually that is an out an out lie. One that I have been telling myself for a long time. I knew it was dulling my senses, it made it easier to block stuff out. In theory anyway? Now it looks like I need to find a way to recognize it, realize it’s not mine and let it go. I’ll figure it out, eventually.

Hopefully tomorrow is a little bit calmer at work because I have piles and piles of paperwork to attend to….Zia

 

 

 

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I’m Listening

I have been having dreams about Indiana lately. One of the dreams was 100% from my grandfather and the other ones were either from my mother or grandmother. My grandparents were born and raised in Kentucky, they moved to Indiana when my mom was little. (I know I talk mostly about Kentucky so I didn’t want to confuse you)

My mother gave strict instructions before she died that when the time came and my grandmother passed, we were not to go there….ever. I never really questioned it…she knew her brothers and sisters better than I did. I talked my mother’s youngest sister a few times before things got ugly with the will and then I didn’t talk to anyone.

I had another dream last night and as I laid in bed this morning I though about calling my other aunt. I got up and started my day and forgot all about it. Later this afternoon my aunt from my dad’s side text me. I don’t hear from her very often so I was surprised but it was enough to trigger my thoughts from this morning. I found my mom’s address book and looked for the number I needed only it wasn’t in there. I called my Arizona brother and asked him to send my aunt a message on Facebook.

To make a long story short, she gave him her number and I called her. We talked for an hour and it wasn’t nearly as awkward as I anticipated. We didn’t talk about any drama, thank goodness. Mostly she talked about her stuff and I listened. There were a lot of things that I didn’t know. Grandma was my only window into that world so if it wasn’t on her radar I didn’t hear about it.

Someone on the other side was pushing me to make a connection so I did and I’m glad I did. She gave me her work schedule so I know when to call in the future. Ever since I hung up with her I have had “I’ll Turn the Radio On” by Walela stuck in my head. Only the beginning though…the old woman singing in the beginning of that song sounds just like my grandma did when she would sing. It’s actually been quite an emotional evening.

The rest of my day was the same old thing, running errands, and weekend chores, nothing too exciting….Zia

 

 

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The Seeds of January

It happens every year in January…the seed catalogs start coming in the mail. I usually have more than two by this time but the mail is still all jacked up. Yesterday I received my water bill. My water bill was due on the 4th and I received it on the 12th?? Good thing I was paying attention! I had the water copy email me a copy at the end of December because I knew it was missing. What if I wasn’t paying attention? This is craziness!

Sorry…sidetracked. I started looking through the catalogs to try and plan what I was going to grow this year in my limited space. Next thing I know, I’m on Etsy ordering herb seeds from a veteran owned company. I know it’s January, I just couldn’t help myself. I was telling one of the girls at work and she offered me a grow light that she was going to throw away if I didn’t want it. I don’t get that…why throw it away? Donate it. I happily accepted so I guess that point is moot.

Monday I fitted a patient for glasses. We had the best time! Somehow our conversation came around to plants. She never buys flowers or seeds. She saves her dead heads, lets them dry, and then in the Spring she shakes the seeds out of them. Could it really be that easy? It’s one of those things that I always wanted to learn how to do but assumed it was too difficult so I never looked into it. Shame on me. This patient is leaving for Florida next week for three months and when she comes back, we are going to have a cup of coffee somewhere. Connections happen in the oddest places.

I was extra surprised on Tuesday when she stopped back in to give me some of her dead heads/ dried buds. If it sounds strange I’m sorry, we always say “you have to pluck off the dead heads” around here. Anyhoo…she brought me seven different flower seeds. Mums were the only name she remembered  so the other six will be a surprise. I thought that was the sweetest thing! Not as sweet as the image of her and her husband riding around their Florida community on a two seated bike but it’s a close second.

It was a nice surprise and a much needed one. The energy yesterday and today was kaddywampus! I barely even did any running around after work today. I ran down to the health food store for tea and cacao nibs because strangely I’m still not drinking any wine? I’m not sure what that’s about but I haven’t wanted it and have been going back and forth between a nightly tumeric milk and a rose/cacao drink. I drink tea most of the time.  I stopped at a local salad place and ordered my usual and then asked “how much for a box of lettuce only?”  The girl gave me a reasonable price and I said I’ll take it! I really didn’t want to stop at the store for just a head of lettuce so I am grateful she gave me a good price and now I have lunch for the next two work days. After that I stopped and filled up my gas tank and came home.

I spent most of the afternoon taking notes from my herb class, which I love by the way. I am learning so much and it is much more than just an herb class. Since it’s the new moon today, I thought soaking in a hot bath with rose buds and blue lotus flowers sounded like a good idea so I did that too. Now I’m here. Maybe I’ll turn on the t.v.? Maybe I’ll start copying the notes into the good notebook?  Maybe I’ll look through the seed catalogs again and dream of warmer days…..Zia

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I Need Rhythm

I was really excited about the new drum journeying session my sound center was offering tonight. It’s been a long time since I journeyed and I had some specific questions lined up. The last couple of times I went to a “journeying” session it was with an actual shaman. So if I sound a little disappointed, it’s my own fault.

It has been my experience that during the session the shaman plays the drum….the same beat the entire time. That is not how tonight went. There were drums, rattles, flutes, chimes, and voice sound happening. If I had not journeyed before it would have been a pretty cool, “new” experience. I journeyed briefly, enough to connect with an eagle and then he changed the beat. Every time I came close he would change the beat. After a few times I just relaxed into the sound. I could feel the energy swirling around my head so I just breathed into that.

It was a great event if you take away my preconceived notions. I didn’t have a drop of wine yesterday or today in preparation. Even now…I am hoping to have some big dreams tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had another one of those eagle/goddess dreams. So…still no wine. Instead I am drinking some hot cacao with rose powder and sweetened with honey. I’m going all out on the heart openers tonight. I will report back.

This whole thing reminded me of a conversation that I used to have with the Cockroach “what do you mean you lost it…where does it go? How do you lose it?” “I told you…you can’t change it up during. Now you’re all happy and I’m frustrated, thanks for that.”  That’s kind of how tonight made me feel.

The drum journey was the highlight of my day. I spent the morning juicing and then freezing 112 ounces of organic celery, precooking three pounds of nitrate free turkey bacon, followed by prepping my breakfast and lunch for the week. Not so exciting but it was a big chunk of time from my day. The Girl and I stopped at a couple places today and it wasn’t nearly as busy out there as it was yesterday.

Tomorrow is Monday and that is my busiest day of the week and since the new moon is on Wednesday….it should be much more intense….I could be wrong….I hope I’m wrong….I guess we will see…Zia

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To See Or Not To See?

I had a hair appointment this morning so I wore my contacts.(hairspray, etc)  I haven’t worn my contacts out and about for a long time. For the most part I was okay but it was different. I had no problems in the salon where he made my hair shorter than we discussed…why does everybody do this? I won’t know how I feel about it until I do my own hair…I will report back.

I ran to Sam’s Club next. I haven’t seen this many people in Sam’s in a long time. I only needed a few things so I wasn’t in there too long. When I first walked in I was confused…why were my transition lenses taking so long to turn back? I forgot I was wearing my contacts and was still wearing my sunglasses. That was a doh! moment.

I ran to Aldi’s next to see if they had any organic celery which they did. The kid at the checkout said they just got it back in this morning. He hadn’t seen it in over a week. This was one of the reasons I stopped juicing. I recently learned that I could juice and then freeze and still get the benefits, so I am giving it another shot. When I was in Aldi’s I picked up a box to read the ingredients and it was a struggle. I guess I am finally used to wearing my glasses.

I came home and unloaded the car. I asked the Girl if she wanted or needed to go anywhere and she said “no”. So I text the neighbor and asked her if she wanted to go traipsing through the woods with our cameras. When I asked her the sun was shining bright, when we left 20 minutes later it was starting to get cloudy. I underestimated how cold it actually was. I might have been fine if I had worn gloves. The whole Raynaud thing doesn’t happen to me often but it happened to me today. Wool socks and fleece lined leggings were the perfect choice. Wearing only a hoodie at 38 degress wasn’t the smartest choice. I only have wool coats, I don’t have a Northface type coat, but my biggest mistake was not wearing gloves. Lesson learned…my hands can’t take the cold anymore and especially not for an hour and a half.

I was mostly looking for color out in the woods and it became almost like a scavenger hunt. We had a good time and found plenty of colors. Blue berries, red berries, green ferns, green moss,and lots of fungi. There was even a herd of deer that ran close by. Not close enough and too fast to get a picture.

When we were getting into the car the sun came back out….that happened so many times last Summer at the pool. It’s one of those funny…not funny things. The first thing I did when I got home was run warm water over my hands until the couple fingers got their color back.  It took a while to shake off the chill so I didn’t do much else today. It was worth it though….it’s been a long time since I spent quality time outside….Zia

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Level Up

I am not going to talk about the current state of affairs or the lurking evil that is after every soul on this planet. I will say and have said…get off of this frequency! Turn off the news, stop looking at social media, take off your mask and get some fresh air. Take your dog for a walk, pet your cat, hug your kid, call an old friend, go for a walk in nature. Do something that brings you joy and then do it again, and again, and again. Getting off my soapbox now….

It’s been pretty uneventful the last couple of days. The most exciting thing was the brief twenty minutes of clear sky this morning. There were some pretty big shelf clouds that turned bright pink for a bit. I’m glad I took the time to stop and pull out my camera, that always brings me joy and there hasn’t been much of a call for it lately.

My last patient of the day has a condo in Hawaii and he shared some of his sunrise/sunset pictures with me and they were stunning. I think he and his wife travel a lot because he had some amazing photos from all over. We had a nice chat, he is also ready to ditch these masks…

When I was taking the work to the back I came to a realization and while it may be a “duh” for most…it gave me a new goal. I need a change of scenery…stat! The cloudy, dreary, cold and stark scenery has it’s moments but this Girl needs the sun. I don’t even care if it’s cold…I just need the sun! I’m not sure how I can accomplish this because of stupid Covid but I will find a way.

I had another realization today…I was adjusting a pair of glasses for a patient and while I was adjusting we were talking. He was on the way to pick up his dad who was has cancer and recently decided that he didn’t want to fight anymore. He took a leave from work to bring his dad home to die. He told me about a few of the things he had planned and they were beautiful. He is creating a special environment for his dad to pass over.  When he left I went into Big K’s office and told her “I almost started crying with this patient when we were talking, I need to find a way to block this stuff out.” Her words were “no you don’t, that’s part of what makes you you. You need to find a way to process it better.” That’s a different way to look at it. Something else I need to work on…

Personal growth is a never ending challenge…thank goodness. What is life without growth….Zia

 

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What to Say?

I’m not sure what to say? I try and keep things positive all the way around but the energies at play the last couple of days are making it hard. Work was crazy busy yesterday and a lot of the patients were nasty. None of the mean ones made it over to optical thank goodness.  The energy was hard to escape nonetheless.

Maybe that should be my true goal for 2021….figure out how to not absorb the energy around me? Other people can do it, I’m not sure why it’s so difficult for me? It’s not just the patients, there is just as much negativity radiating off of my coworkers as well. Not all of them but enough to tip the “feeling” scale, making it difficult to work.

This time of year is extra hard for me. They said on the news that since December 1st we have had thirty mostly cloudy days. How depressing is that? I feel disconnected from nature and that is a big challenge for me. Sunday I made my first attempt at “earthing” in the Winter, which I mentioned previously. I will try again tomorrow.  It’s more about feeling connected than time spent…I didn’t make it to connected on Sunday.

I am taking an herb class and natural perfumery course, both of which are helping in their own ways. I think I might order some seeds and see if I can’t get something to grow in this darkness that is Ohio. There’s a rumor that the sun might make an appearance this weekend. I need to feel the sun on my face…stat!

I have survived fifty other Ohio Winters and I’m sure I will survive this one…somehow.Tomorrow is half day Wednesday so that will get me extra quiet time and I will take every minute….Zia

 

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Back to the Grind

Today was it…the last day of holiday hours. The next paid holiday is Memorial Day and that is five full months away. It was an extra relaxing weekend and I am grateful for the time off. I have survived every year before this and I will survive this one.

Side note *** Pirate folk metal is a genre I have never heard of before and if I were to be honest…I don’t hate it. Thanks Tim at Front Range Radio on Tri Lake Radio for the introduction.

Today I had my first go at earthing in the Winter. I know there are people out there who regularly jump into icy waters by choice….how sad is it that I didn’t make it past three minutes in my bare feet? It wasn’t even that cold today with a temp of 38. My grandmother grew up in the mountains of Kentucky with no running water and never had shoes in the Winter. I am not giving up and my goal is five minutes or more three times a week in the Winter. Every day in the Summer and Spring and Fall are yet to be determined.

I’ll let you know when I actually connect with the earth. There was no swirl of energy or feeling of vortex today only numb feet. Hopefully this will get better with time.

The Girl and I only left the house today to visit my favorite coffee shop. The only reason we made that trip was because I had to give away the dollar/crystal/coin envelope from the New Year’s ritual from the sound bath. I’m glad it was the sweet girl who usually makes my weekend cup of coffee…she deserves prosperity!

Most of the day was spent tying up loose ends. The Girl and I took down the outside lights. I packed up a few things that still needed to be shipped. I took some pictures of birds at my feeders. The rest of the day was spent doing mundane things.  For the most part…the house is back to normal.

I hope everyone had a great first weekend of 2021….Zia

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Please Explain?

So….I finally got the Girl to commit to watching Wolf Walkers.Unfortunately we had to watch it in her room…it’s an Apple TV movie. We were thirty minutes into the movie when we heard a loud noise downstairs. She paused the movie and we went downstairs, both of us thinking…cat.

When we got downstairs we found this…only the big chunk of glass was on the floor.I had just filled this container with water two hours previously. I almost always use this container for moon water. Tonight I used it because the water bubbler was flashing and I knew there was still good water in there.

The Girl took this picture at 9:30. Around 7:00 I washed the floor and then washed it again with a home brew of Rue and Eucalyptus to cleanse the space. Was it the home brew floor cleaner that busted out that bottle or the fact that I was hanging out in the Girl’s room watching a movie, or both? We haven’t had too much happen in this house other than the Girl seeing the cowboy spirit in her room and the occasional spirit messing with the lights in the kitchen. So what was this about? The Girl and I wiped up the water on the counter and I absolutely grabbed for my Rue/Eucalyptus pray to wipe up the floor…the Girl gave me a look but I sprayed it anyway. 

I have plenty of brew left, maybe tomorrow I will start on the walls. I have more Rue left in the event that I need to make more. The event was unsettling and unexplainable and only leads me to believe that I am on the right track!

I had a dream Thursday night…. there was a man and a woman that came to the old house. The man brought me a bag (the size of a make up bag) full of custom optical tools. They were interested in the four pair of sample glasses I had. There was something about a switchblade and a temple but I’m not sure. It felt very much like a spy movie and me…never wanting to play the game…told them everything I knew. Then I was at work and the same man was there. We were talking when I noticed his hands. His wounds reminded me of a bicycle chain? I assured him that I had a salve for that, maybe in the dream time I do but not in the waking world…it’s not done yet.

We were talking when he announced that he had to leave. He pulled me aside and leaned in to kiss me. It was a strange kiss…very one sided. I’ll admit that I am extra picky when it comes to a kiss but this one was bad. Plus he had a piece of hard candy in his mouth and that was just plain old distracting. There was another man there as well. He didn’t have the broad shoulders and large hands but he was there for a group hug. It was all strange and confusing. That’s all I remember…I have got to start writing these down when I wake up.

I have more to say but it’s late and I’m distracted….Zia

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The Final Hour

Here we are….the end of 2020 and it’s been a wild ride for sure. The Girl thinks we should say Jumanji in lieu of Happy New Year this year. I’m fairly certain she saw that on Twitter. It’s funny, not funny….

I was lucky enough to have today off so the Girl and I got plenty of running around done. A thing did happen this morning….I gifted the owner of a local sustainable shop with one of my wool ball car diffusers way back in November. She made a post about it today and there was some interest and she placed an order for 15 of them. I am super excited! Will it make me a ton of money…no, but some money is better than no money. I have enough supplies on hand to make 25 so this goes along with my use it or lose it plan. It was a nice surprise.

This sunrise from earlier this week was a nice surprise as well. That’s the best part about Winter mornings. I rarely get to see a sunrise in the Summer because I like my sleep too much.

Tonight I went to a sound bath with KB. This was my fourth New Year’s Eve there and KB’s first. It is always an amazing experience!  I couldn’t move my feet during the sound bath this time. I felt like the bowls were pulling my feet towards them. It was a new experience, not scary at all but I was aware. During the meditation the words “I am ready” popped into my head. Not Je suis prest but I am ready…yes, I know they mean the same thing but the reference after the meditation came to mind, not during. I have no idea what it might mean for 2021….only time will tell.

They also gave us a dollar so we can do a prosperity ritual at midnight. This is a nice new addition to the night. I am adding some coins and a crystal to the bag and will give it away on Sunday. More than likely it will be to tip my barista at my favorite coffee shop. She said something about 48 hours which would be Sunday and giving it away as  a tip seems like a good plan.

I wish all of you a happy and prosperous New Year….Zia

 

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