Letters to a Cockroach

The cockroach is a disgusting creature, a dreg of society, the stuff you scrape off of the bottom of your shoe, the nightmare that you can’t get rid of.  You are the human equivalent of a cockroach and I can’t believe that I let you in my life.  Even with a civil protection order you are still lurking in the shadows and I know I only have a couple more years before you’re in my face again.  I have taken the high road and have not responded to all of the horrible stuff you have said,  I’m in “blog world” now, the land of the anonymous so all bets are off. I hate you! That’s a good place to start.  I hate that you watched me for three years, studying me, becoming my so called friend, you were just waiting.  I hate all of the people who made me a challenge by telling you that you could never have me. I hate that I let you in my life and in my bed, and I hate that I was naive enough to believe all of your lies. I hate that you’re a crackhead. I hate you for everything you stole from me and my family. I hate that you wouldn’t leave, that it took me more than a year to get you out of my house you piece of shit freeloader!  I hate you for cheating on me and thank God for condoms! I hate that you’re a master manipulator and while doing all of these horrible things to me you were making me feel sorry for you.  I hate that I still took my purse in the bathroom while I showered six months after you were removed. I hope I never have to cross paths with you again, and that you and your crack get what you deserve.

I love that I don’t feel like a victim, if anything I feel more empowered.  I love that I can see it when someone is trying to scam me now. I love that I have my life back and that I’m making positive changes all of the time.

To all of the women out there that are in mentally or physically abusive relationships with the drug addicts and the alcoholics I encourage you to find your your way out.  I said it out loud to the universe and doors started opening and helpful people appeared. It’s scary as hell when you’re in the middle of it, but it is so much better on the other side. Nobody should have to feel like a caged animal in their own home.

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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