2012 was about embracing my inner bitch, which turned out to be the perfect year to quit smoking. Do people still walk all over me? A little maybe, but they sure think twice before trying. I’m still learning how to set boundaries but I’m getting better at it.
The first thing that came to mind for 2013 is to rediscover the art of a handwritten letter. My friend MM oh wait now it’s MK sent me a letter this year instead of a Christmas card. When I called to thank her and catch up she told me that she came across one of the cards I made her from back in my rubber stamping days. That card inspired her to find a card just for me and to write me a letter. Her card meant more to me than any other I received. So I would like to do more of that this year and as a bonus I will be doing my part in keeping the US mail in business.
I also need to work on being more financially aware. This wasn’t always a problem but it is now. I was never able to keep a balanced check book in writing while the Cockroach was around. There was a lot of blind faith during that time. I am very surprised how hard it is to get back into this habit. In a way I am kind of afraid of my money, I’m not sure if it is just not having enough or if it is something else. Well now I have 12 months to figure it out.
Fear in general is something that I need to work on. I’m too old to have this many irrational fears. I am not hiding from the outside this summer like I have the past two years. If he wants to be a loser stalker there isn’t anything I can do about it. Maybe I will pick up one of those holsters from Armed in Heels, if that’s what it takes to be able to sit outside at night. I like my little bonfires and under the stars, staring into those flames is the closest that I have ever come to achieving a meditative state. I feel like I have lost the ability to ground myself, I’m tired of floating. It’s time to get serious!
I think three things is enough don’t you? I think if you set too many goals at one time you are just setting yourself up to fail. This morning while enjoying the silence before getting out of bed, I made another decision. It doesn’t count as a goal, it just is what it is. I am not waiting any longer for my brother to help me build a chicken coop, he is just too busy. I can transform one thing into another, but from scratch? I don’t want a repeat of chicken slaughter 2010, it was horrible. Anyway now that I have made enough circles around my point…I will either buy one or pay someone to make me one. I have to do the research but come hell or high water (whatever that means) I will have my little chickens.