A Spoonful of Sugar

mary-poppinsI am not going to sugar coat the next question….am I failing my son? I had to go pick my son up from school today because the nurse called me, I walked into the school and looked at my son and I knew he was faking. If I didn’t just drive twenty minutes I would have left his ass at school.  How do I teach him to be a man?  I don’t have a penis so I can’t teach him these things. 

My daughter….I’m pretty sure that she will be ok. I don’t worry that she won’t be able to take care of herself, she is a kick ass with a bow and arrow and I have taught her to do for herself. My son, well it’s not the same.

When the tractor kicked it this past summer, my brother was adamant that I didn’t get it fixed, it would be good for L to walk it.  This is something I could not watch, at 16 he was slower than molasses in January. I can run circles around this kid, how is that possible?  I will pose the question again..how do I teach him to be a man?

Two weekends ago, my ex husband was giving the kids grief about when he was going to pick them up.  Not going there…..breathe…..  So anyway he was having a hissy with them about when he was to pick them up.  I had a flashback to one of the last major arguments my ex husband and I had….it was that moment during our “fight” that I realized OMG I married your mother.  So if my ex husband is his mother….how will this teach my son to be a man?

I can count on my ex to teach his son how to spend money the minute it touches his hand, that his own personal pleasure via video games,etc. comes first, and when that doesn’t work Mommy and Daddy will take care of everything else.  Ummmm the HELL I will bail my son out of his mistakes.  Does this make me a bitch?  Well more than normal?

I feel like my daughter is prepping to lead the next amazonian society and I am failing my son in every possible way.  I just had a conversation about men and hunters/gatherers and how there are very few hunters. Should I be pushing my son to be a hunter when he is really a gatherer?  He may not even be that, a video gamer that theorizes about being a gatherer? God I sound like a bitch, the future the way I see it…..you better teach your daughters well because your sons aren’t going to cut it.

I don’t even know what else to say….I don’t want my son to be his father…how do I even get around this? There is no way. What do I say..you’re morally inept to be a role model for your own kid…..that should go over well.

I try every day to use the assholes I work with or the ones I randomly encounter as examples of undesirable behavior for my kids. How do I know what they are listening to or what will send them into therapy?

I do the best I can with what I have.  I can’t make my son aspire to be anything, he thinks his dad is the shit…..he has to figure this one out for himself. Mom will just have to be right without saying”I told you so!” Life would be so much easier if he would realize now that mom is right…..

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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2 Responses to A Spoonful of Sugar

  1. Is there another male in your circle that he could send time with on a regular basis? Good luck

  2. Yes my brother tries and usually ends up just shaking his head and mumbling about how my ex did this kid wrong. I am hoping that getting a job this summer will help him. He’s a good kid with a big heart but he is sooo lazy. How did I grow a lazy kid? Thanks for the luck, I’m pretty sure I am going to need it.

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