Bad to the Bone Body Image

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Who decides what size is right? The above picture is of Venus, Goddess of Love. Does she look like a stick figure to you? I am having a really hard time with my weight gain. Funny thing is….when I was a size 2 I had a bad body image. How does that happen?

My daughter at 15 weighs more than I ever have, even when I was pregnant. She is not fat by any stretch of the imagination, she carries it very well. She has some pretty big calf muscles, but it was pointed out to me this summer, it’s a family thing, I have the other side of the coin with my skinny legs and all. My daughter doesn’t have a bad body image, how the hell did I manage that?

I know she has to feel really big, there are very few boys even as tall as she is. When her friends come over they are so little and skinny. I’m 5 ‘4 and maybe 2 of her friends are that tall, my kid is like an Amazon compared to these girls and she is completely happy with her body. She gets so mad at me when I complain about my weight and that makes me feel bad because I am happy that she likes her body.!B+0SpzwB2k~$(KGrHqUOKkMEzLTp,wtzBN!5ur7ysQ~~_3

Who decides what is beautiful? The above picture is an early 1900’s swimsuit pin up type picture, this would not make the cut by today’s standards.

I don’t know what my size is supposed to be.  I started smoking in high school so my body never had a chance to express itself.  The last couple of days I have to admit I have contemplated smoking my excess weight away, but I haven’t.

I stopped on the way home and bought a couple pair of jeans because I had a really bad “I’m a sausage day”. I didn’t want to admit defeat by buying new jeans but I can’t take it anymore. I give a grudging hello to size 10, I am not happy to see you….athenaI hope that Goddess Athena (pictured above) gives me the wisdom to sort this poundage out!  How many of you out there remember laying down on the bed to zip up your Gloria Vanderbilt jeans up?  I was 9 or 10 when I did that…how wrong was that? Skinny,skinny,skinny that’s what has been drilled into me as long as I can remember. I blame the popularity of this woman, and please somebody give her a cookie!!Twiggy-twiggy-8011079-380-500I’m pretty sure my left DD weighs more than this little sprig of a creature!

It’s not the same for guys, who wants one of those?  I know I am not a huge fan of a skinny guy.  I had one skinny guy in my history, he was married and we were drinking and I accidentally fell on him…twice. Don’t judge I could still play for a while before I hit double digits. Anyway every single part of him (if you know what I mean) was so skinny. He doesn’t deserve those baby blues God gave him. Whatever…I like a little meat on my man…nothing scrawny!

Men never have the same standards to uphold as women do.001a400

Now that I have a few new pair of jeans I will try not to beat myself up as much.  I will do my best to lose the weight but I will not punish my body by making it squeeze into unnaturally tight clothes. I understand that size four and six are gone forever but I wouldn’t mind giving eight a re-visit.


About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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