272819689896755364_7gyA3f0i_bDid you ever wonder how a person gets themselves into the bad situations that change them forever? Do you remember how fast I jumped on my brother for the comment he made yesterday about the sinking ship? He knows me better than I know myself.

Empathy is not always a good thing, for me it is easier to put myself in somebody else’s shoes than it is to walk in my own.  Most days it is fairly easy to be the big bad bitch, but not today.

I find myself in another damned if I do and damned if I don’t situation.

If I go to calling hours (which I am not) I will void the protection order..I am not willing to do that. I am still trying to weigh the pros and cons of sending a card….and no not to the cockroach.

I know the pain of losing a mother and I hope and pray that I never know what if feels like to lose a child. Just because I parted on bad terms with Cockroach’s mother doesn’t mean that I don’t want to send my condolences. I am not sure if I should or can or about anything right now.

See how easily I am confused…

It’s easy to build walls to protect yourself from the pain, but sometimes maintaining the fortress takes some serious effort.???????????????????????????????????????

Today was another day of my phone blowing up all day….yes I know…yes it’s horrible….it really sucks to not be able to say anything about it and all the while being continuously reminded about it.

Today was an uber  I really want a cigarette day…I didn’t but it was really hard.

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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