Almost Aware

Have you ever had that feeling…..that you can almost put your finger on….almost, and then it is gone? All day long this is how I have felt and it is driving me crazy!!!

The only person I can lie to is myself, everyone else can see all of my emotions right on my face.Maybe I am just having a weak moment, I let myself have them occasionally. I don’t like it when I have these moments, but who does…right?

Is it crazy to fight with yourself? Don’t worry it’s not out loud or anything…..but seriously I have some serious internal conflict going on. I never do anything easy and I have that……..for lack of a better expression “the seven year itch”. The last time it was this strong, I left my ex husband and my mom died three days later. That was my darkest time…ever.

My job, this house, my time or lack of it, is all unacceptable!! I feel like it is time to move on and if I was a snake I would be shedding my skin about right now. There is a shake up coming, I just can’t tell from what direction. It’s not a feeling of foreboding…it doesn’t feel bad, just different. I mentioned that I never do anything easy…do I have the energy to get through it? I hope so!

I have a new scary friend in the basement….she’s pretty big. If she were on top of a 50 cent piece, her long legs would dangle over a considerable amount. This was as close as I was getting, I am not looking to get bit again any time soon.WP_20131201_001

I was amazed that the girl actually did her own laundry with that spider lurking on the wall. It’s the first thing that I look for after I try not to kill myself on those stairs and actually get to the basement.

On a lighter note, I answered the phone at Pier 1 today and said “thank you for calling Pier 1 optical may I help you” Holy crap was my face red! It was crazy busy today compared to yesterday and everybody was nice, so that helped.

I didn’t get nearly enough done on this mini vacation…time, there just isn’t enough of it…..Zia


About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
This entry was posted in life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Almost Aware

  1. Ivie says:

    I’ve had that feeling many times before. That spider needs to be killed!!

Please feel free to share your thoughts..........

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s