It’s common knowledge that I cannot lie to another person, especially if I know you, BUT…..I can lie to myself and do so constantly. Today was a real kick in the pants! I have been lying to myself since I received the letter from the doctors. I was mostly calm about until today and let me tell you…..I redefined the phrase “hot mess”!!!
I cried almost all morning…I was seriously freaking myself out. CG and I went to lunch, and I was much calmer after that. Her words were something like this “you WILL be fine…there are no other options, this isn’t about you anymore it’s all about me and the hell you’re leaving me here alone!” I love my friends! 🙂
I went to my appointment and the “whatever she was” the girl who did the sonogram was one of those people. She had the personality of a wet noodle, I was honestly like wow and I’m being nice. When the doctor (who was quite attractive for an older man) came in with his little intern….wet noodle flipped a switch. Her face had a smile on it and seemed so concerned….FAKE….Goddess I hate fake people. Whatever…hopefully I will never have to see her again.
I have a cyst, a nothing to worry about run of the mill cyst. Cutie patootie asked if I had any questions….who can ask questions when the waterworks of relief are on full blast? I know….I’m pathetic! Wet noodle also tossed me a pink carnation as she told me to turn right on the way out.
I then went to Pier 1, worked my shift and left a note that said something along the lines of “it’s just too much, I thought I could work out my two week notice but I just can’t. I hugged the manager on duty, she pointed out her vehicle and where she always parks….again I started crying and I was gone. Pier 1 chapter is closed!
Next stop is book club tomorrow, I was a co founder of this book club, but again it is too much. I haven’t finished a book in months. I just want to read and enjoy it…for me. SB is the only one that I care about and we will always find something to do.
I am so exhausted…physically and mentally, this girl needs a break!…..Zia