Irrational and Hormonal Woman

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How much of what we feel when we are hormonal and suffering from PMS is true? What is irrational and what is buried truth?

My day started just as every other work day does, until I decided what I wanted to wear today. Clothes on and off at light speed, my neatly made bed covered in rejected clothes. How did I feel?

I felt disgusting! I felt fat with a newly found loathing of my body. I, like thousands of woman everywhere have a poor body image. For me it didn’t matter when I was a size 4 I still felt fat, imagine how I feel at 150lbs and I am only 5ft 5.

The twenty pounds that I gained from quitting smoking has really pushed me over the edge. I feel trapped in a body that I no longer recognize.

It’s hard to get up everyday and be disgusted every time you pass a mirror. It’s also a lot of work to shove those feelings down and pretend that they aren’t there.

I see people all over that don’t think twice when they squeeze into a shirt that shows all of their back fat and muffin top…..how?  I don’t understand how they can be okay with that, I just can’t….

The whole world (slight exaggeration) wants me to start dating….truth…..I am terrified that I will make another mistake. Add that to the fact that I hate the way I look….how do I learn to like someone when I don’t even like myself? Fear and bad body image…..I’m pretty sure that it equals lonely and bitter.

I know that this is a hormonal and irrational rant and any day now I can go back to lying to myself with positive affirmations…blah,blah,blah

Someone even called me a m.i.l.f. today, and I know that it is loosely meant as a compliment, but part of me is offended by it. It didn’t make me feel even slightly better.

So to all of the men out there…when your wife or girlfriend is tearing apart her closet and making you late for something, cut her some slack. It’s not easy to feel pretty……Zia

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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