I Am So Gullible

I came home from work today and on my struggle from the car to the house (wine bottles,water jug,big water glass,lunch box, and mail) it sounds like someone was trying to get my attention from the neighbors. Usually it’s just vermin and I really wanted to empty my hands and the dogs were doing the pee dance and howling inside, so I ignored it. I put the dogs out and crap I still have my sunglasses on, so I went to put them in the car. This time the call was louder and my neighbor chimed in “you don’t know who is over here do you?”

So begrudgingly I tread across the yard…..it’s the Cockroach’s Uncle D. He is a sweet drunk of 68yrs and he just had to say hi. I being me…. truthfully answer all of his questions. “No I am not dating, boys are bad and I am done with them!” “Yes I am still working in optical, and no I don’t like it.” He tells me about his life and how is retired now and he doesn’t date anymore either, but he is enjoying his life. In my head I am thinking that’s good because he has aged 20 years since I last laid eyes on him.

It has been the nice little catch up and then it happens,” Cockroach is living in an apartment with arachnid man and is working seven days a week.” “Uncle D I really don’t want to know”….he continues and then it hits me…..this was on purpose. I am such an idiot! This was a total fishing expedition and once again I was stupid enough to fall for it.

I wish that somebody would explain to me how I am supposed to move past this when clearly “he” will never let me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the girl and I left Barnes and Noble on Saturday, I was backing up and there was a bald man sitting in the next row looking right at us.( I didn’t mention because it freaks CM out) All I saw was a silhouette of a bald man, I didn’t stop to look because I don’t care…….watch me if you must…..when I am done ……I am done! I have never had “ex” sex or went back to somebody when it was over. I have realized for a long time that the civil protection order was the only solution for me. I am thankful for all of the people that helped me achieve that….he would have been in my face everyday to take him back if it wasn’t for that little piece of paper. That piece of paper is like my little hero, if only it made me invisible……..

So let’s recap….he knows that I am not dating……I quit smoking…..I am still working in optical….and that I know where he lives and “for now” he is supporting himself and his drug habit.

I just wish that some little unknown opportunity would just walk up and say “let’s change every single thing about your life.”  Apparently my karma is to work things out the hard way, no free passes for me…………..Zia

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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