I’m a Contradiction

Up, down, left, right, and in circles that is where I am right now. Please when you read my posts, do not worry about me…..that is not my intention. My life is always a big struggle and a lot of it I do bring on myself. I have always managed a way to get heating oil and I will figure this out. I have my moments of extreme anxiety, I had quite a few today actually….it will all work out. I might not know how yet…..but it will, so no worries.

Ever since my visit from my mother the other night (I am choosing to believe it was her) I have been breaking out the Simon and Garfunkel, I have always been partial to this one..

With the exception of the friends part, because as you all know I have the best ones, this song is how I feel a lot of the time. How could it not be? When I was little and my mom was upset or lonely (which was a lot) she played the greatest hits album over and over again. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know all of the words to those songs. It is currently in the cd player in my car right now…….. I miss her.

I had family in from out of town today and that is where the girl and I spent the majority of our day. Telling stories and catching up, laughing that way that you can only laugh with your family, it was a good time. The subject of my mom came up today and this isn’t her side of the family, mostly because of how much the girl looks like her. With all of this reminiscing, my supernatural mom visit, worrying about heat, running into the woman from New Year’s Eve that said “don’t be me”, and throw in some PMS…..how could I not be hot mess?! Driving home right after seeing L with her words fresh in my head singing I am a Rock…..I am thinking that “hiding in my room, safe within my womb” sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

I did have a nice dinner with SB last night, we rarely just sit and talk so it was nice. We always say that we need to do it more but that never seems to happen, life always gets in the way. We went straight from dinner to book club and had no problem convincing the others to take December off. We will pick back up in January with Mrs. Poe which was my pick. It was one of our better discussions last night, we were even there two hours, usually it’s only one.

Tonight I went to dinner theater with PT, L and some other friends. I enjoyed the show and the company. I have to admit that I am glad that it wasn’t a really long show since I was gone most of the day. I am happy to be home…..Zia

The girl quote of the day: traffic was backed up and all I could see was that there were ambulance and fire truck lights up ahead. It ended up being at the BP station which is next to McDonalds, but we guessed McDonalds from where we were . I said “I wonder what is going on?” the girl said “maybe it’s a Mc-heart-attack?” Where does she come up with these things? 🙂

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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4 Responses to I’m a Contradiction

  1. Simon and Garfunkel, nice choice. Have a good Sunday.

  2. Jean says:

    I love friends who make me laugh! My brother (ten years my senior) listened to Simon and Garfunkel all the time. He was a good singer, too, back in the day. I still love those songs. Timeless, right? Pandora also suggested I might like 60s protest songs. They are rarely right, but I have indeed been enjoying them. Maybe I’m gearing up for some type of social revolution or bra-burning!

    • dragonflyzia says:

      Bra burning?…..I’m in 😀 i will have to check out that station. I took the boy for a haircut today and he said “are you really gonna make me listen to this?” ” yes, it reminds me of your memaw and it won’t hurt you!” Kids! Im glad i was able to remind you of a memory with your brother, thanks Jean!

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