I guess I will start with the babble, if you read my words regularly than you know how I babble incessantly. It’s worse when I am filling out a police report. Calm down Blondie it’s okay. I didn’t mention this last night because…. well call me crazy I thought I would see what the detective had to say first. I knew as soon as I laid eyes on the card that this was going to end up as a police report. When you open the mail box and there is a card addressed to your first name only with your address as the return address also, something is definitely fishy. There wasn’t anything written on the inside just a $50.00 bill.
Directly/indirectly it doesn’t matter I know it was from Cockroach. It wasn’t his handwriting but who else would do this? The girl stayed in her room the whole time the officer was here and let me babble away. She said the only time she put her hand to her forehead was when he asked me where I worked and I answered with Dante’s 5th circle and then gave the correct answer. What can I say it’s habit! Her excuse for leaving me all alone “I wasn’t wearing a bra” . Lame excuse, she knew he was coming. He didn’t take the money and I will double check before I register for the class, if they don’t want it for anything I am putting it towards the Italian class.
It was maybe ten minutes later when there was another knock on the door, my neighbor’s crazy girlfriend with way too many cookies. The cookies were still frozen, clearly she threw them in the box and brought them over to find out why the police were here. Lucky for me I was on the phone so I was able to say thank you, Merry Christmas and Cockroach sent me something in the mail. I dodged that bullet. The sad thing is…..I don’t want to eat a single cookie that she made, I’m such a bitch!
My biggest bitch moment was at yoga tonight…..I nicely moved my mat for a spaz (I didn’t know). I can’t do a lot of the poses, I fall out of them frequently, so who am I to judge the wobbly girl next to me? I had a few moments where I thought she might fall on me, but other than that we all start out new. However…..I wait all week for Savasana and if you can’t lay next to me in perfect stillness…….get the hell away from my mat!!! I was not thinking loving thoughts as she was fidgeting next to me. THIS was my bitch moment of the day, thank goodness my filter was working!
She couldn’t have known how much energy it took to make the call to the police, the level of humiliation to have to fill out a police report because you made a big mistake and fell in love with an asshole. The energy I lost dodging the scary lady with the cookies. The embarrassment I felt as I relived the babble over and over again in my head as the girl abandoned me……and she picks this day to have ants in her pants. This is what happens to me when I try to be nice. Maybe I should revisit an old resolution of embracing my inner bitch….that was a fun year!
I received a very generous gift card to Outback Steakhouse this Christmas, it was meant for myself and the kids. Well…..what the boy doesn’t know…. The boy is happy with a burger anywhere and I will take him just the two of us sometime soon I promise. The girl and I have a weakness for the Victoria filet, 6 ounces $21. and some odd change…so we went and it was awesome. Is that bad? Their dad takes them out all of the time, it is a rare event when it’s mom. This was the only way I could get us what we both wanted. The boy will enjoy his burger and I cringe for his future choice of Steak and Shake….unless I luck out and he picks anywhere but there……Zia