What Am I Doing Wrong?


I will take any advice that I can get from the men out there…..please tell me what I am doing wrong? I don’t date….seems simple to me. Do I use this statement as a defense mechanism to prevent further conversation?….more than likely! Is it meant to be a challenge or make me more interesting?….absolutely not! Here is what happened…

I stopped at the store on my way home from work because I decided that I wanted to make wedding soup. (I will also offer some to my neighbor in lieu of cigarettes as mentioned in my previous post.) I walked toward the meat counter to get my number, when someone in a gentlemanly fashion pulled my number and gave it to me. I turn to say thank you and realized that I know him. A million years ago I was a hostess at a Mexican restaurant chain and he was a server. Years ago at a school function I ran into him with his wife who was a hostess at the same time I was. Small world…right? So we are chit chatting and I ask him if he still likes the school district now that the kids are older and yes he does…maybe it’s just me that has issues? So I ask where his wife is and here we go….apparently she cheated on him for three years…poor guy…he is clearly not over it. He asks about me and I tell him I am still divorced and to prevent what I was pretty sure was coming….I tossed it out there that I do not date. He then proceeds to tell me that he has been on a few dates but doesn’t really like it.

Now in my head I see the image of him with a shovel as he continues. (That is a shovel that he is digging a hole that he can’t get out of.) He tells me that dating is too much work, but he really likes the sex. I looked at him and said “really I don’t miss it at all.” Obviously that’s a lie…I am human…..but who throws that out there? To me that had the underlying question “wanna f**k?” No I’m good thanks! There were other things in the middle…the single dad, the job that pays really, really well, blah blah…does this usually work?

If this is the Universe tempting me….well I am still not interested, but at least he was cuter…. Should I not throw the “I don’t date” out there so soon? Please tell me how to discourage the attention without being mean? Now he may not have even considered asking me out and that is what I would have thought originally….until he hunted me down in the store to ask me why I don’t date. I clearly don’t understand boys at all! Maybe I misunderstood everything? I’ve been wrong before.

While proof reading this post so far I had the weirdest sense of deja vu……weird…very weird….next subject!

Do you remember the other day when I blogged about finding my people?IMG_0587

I pulled up the catalog online to show someone at work and guess what? They may be hiring (8 hours a week) in my area….maybe? I’m not sure yet if the location matches. I sent my resume asap so I guess we will see. They also have a WordPress blog http://indigowild.wordpress.com/ so you can check it out and see how cool they are. It’s merchandising their displays locally, I love the stuff and can definitely make it look pretty….it all depends on where it is and if they’re interested.

I shouldn’t be surprised that today was so….different, because I had the craziest dreams last night. I remember bits and pieces but not enough to make any sense….must have been all of the sleep yesterday.

I found a new product that actually works! It is too early to tell about the hair growth but my hair looks thicker…a lot! I barely have to tease my whirl (if you are a boy then that is the equivalent of a cowlick)…so far, so good.IMG_0594

My motivational image of the week…..Zia7926eac12eadd24b31e12967f6037aa5

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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7 Responses to What Am I Doing Wrong?

  1. well – you are certainly interesting – what the hell – go out w/someone wtf!

  2. Im not a psychologist, I dont play one on tv, but I am staying at a Holiday Inn Express this week, so here is my two cents. Don’t mention that you dont date unless you absolutly have to. By saying it in the beginning yes it becomes a challenge.

  3. Joel Dembo says:

    I cannot figur out if you were wanting a male opinion or not. I still don’t get what is wrong with a FWB and no drama. Seems like the ideal situation. FYI no-one dates anymore.

    • dragonflyzia says:

      I was serious about the male opinion, I really want to know. I tried the FWB once, it ended with a restraining order..remember? Nobody dates anymore? I didn’t know that either. What should I say to politely escape these situations? I need to know that’s why I asked.

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