My Biggest Enemy

My biggest enemy is obviously myself. It’s weird though….the older I get the more I project self assurance…..even though that’s not what I see in the mirror. I think it is because I am so much more aware of who I am inside…..but I am really struggling with the outside.  The girl has been faithfully taking my measurements although I haven’t upped the exercise so it is status quo.  My bust is what varies week to week between 41 and 42, waist is still 36 and hips are still 41.

The morning time is the hardest, some days I leave with a pile of rejected clothes on my bed….once I am out of the house….and as long as I don’t pass a mirror….I am a confident woman. It doesn’t help that the mirror at work is a bad mirror. Bad mirrors were not something I ever thought about but there really is a difference….some mirrors are just bad.

I’m really not sure where this is coming from….I had a good day…it must be pure frustration. I have never had to struggle to lose weight…..I used to be that girl that someone would say”please God give her a cookie.” Damn metabolism….damn getting older……damn smoking for keeping me skinny for so long. It’s hard to be a former skinny girl……Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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6 Responses to My Biggest Enemy

  1. Rae says:

    Hi Zia, one quick comment: it is not about “loosing” weight – do you want to find it again? How about dropping it, for good? Or words to that effect… current Moon phase in Gemini today and yesterday – all about our self-talk too…just saying…LOVE your body as it is right now…she needs to hear this from you…I totally understand the “former skinny gal” longings. Love where you are @ now…, Blessings, Rae

    • dragonflyzia says:

      Thanks for your encouraging words and I am trying, yesterday was a rough one. I will eventually find a way to kick start my metabolism….aka getting off of my butt and doing something about it!😀


  3. Our biggest critic will always be ourselves because no one knows how to hurt us worse then ourselves. And if that’s true, then that means no one know how to make us happy better than us.. focus on that. That’s what I had to learn to do.

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