Just Shaking My Head…..


First I will say Happy Easter to everybody out there, then I will tell you why I am shaking my head…..

I do not have to be to my aunt’s until 5, so I thought I would battle some clutter. Since I know of someone who could use some of the excess of scrapbook paper that I have because she is a teacher, I ventured to the building outside. I found bank statements and bills from 2008, seriously…what is wrong with me? I just put it away and forget it, I am glad that I went through it though, I found 3 savings bonds for the kids in that box of mess.

I also stumbled across some pictures from holidays past, some of which included the Cockroach. Those pictures remind me that he wasn’t all bad all of the time, I tend to only remember the end because it was so bad. There was a letter from him in that mess, which at first glance I thought was from when he was in rehab. Now because you know me, you know that when it comes to stuff like this I am an idiot and I had to read it.


Turns out it was a letter from when he was in jail for not paying his child support….hey I already fessed up to the stupid part! So much of it didn’t make sense, I see now that it was pure desperation. He was planning our wedding, which was never going to happen…even my stupidity has limits. Reading this letter now, knowing what I know, he was scared to death that without him constantly chirping in my ear that I was going to wake up and realize what a mistake I was making. Nope, a week wasn’t long enough and I thought for sure thought that this was his bottom, or the next thing, or the thing after that. Truth is his bottom is fathomless….

I shouldn’t have read it, I should have crumpled it from the beginning, it is crumpled now and in the burn bag waiting for the wind to subside. Funny thing about Ohio in the Spring any day close to 60 will have blustery winds.

I am going to go out for one more round before I get ready to go to my aunt’s while I have light. I hope that I don’t come across anything else Cockroach related. Later tonight I can go through and sort what is being given and where. The more clutter I clear…..the lighter I feel…..Zia


About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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