Out of My League?

I had my second meeting tonight with the short story workshop that I am taking and it’s a lot bit intimidating. I am so far out of league with these other writers, it’s just crazy. I won’t let it stop me though, I will keep chugging away until I get better. I even faced a bigger fear and read my story out loud….talk about shaking hands…but I did it and I didn’t throw up or anything! I am putting it out there for all of you to share your constructive criticism with me. The prompt was…. you are an alien and you are observing people in a grocery store and no one can see you, what do you see?

The Curl

There were so many emotions rolling over Ostara as her ship gently touched the Earth. She was so proud that she was able to secure this mission, convincing the Supremes had not been an easy thing to do. On another note she was nervous and second guessing herself and wondering “what the heck am I doing here?” She wasn’t sure where the uncertainty was coming from, especially since she fought so hard to be here. “Here goes everything” she said as she opened the door.

Ostara stepped out of her Wingdon and scanned the bleak landscape. She verified her coordinates before she opened the door, she knew she was in the right time….”well, where is the gluttonous lot of them?” she asked herself.

A loud noise pierced the quiet of the field, it came from one of those polluting contraptions, what was the word? car, yes that is what it was. She took a few steps South and that’s when she saw the large building with humans entering with empty hands and exiting with what was sure to be unnecessary waste. This is where she wanted to be.

She only had two Earth hours to observe before her Wingdon was set to return to her time. She was grateful to the Supremes for equipping her with a device on her wrist that cloaked her from the humans….not that they would ever notice.

When she walked through the doors most of the humans were pushing steel carts around in the colorful vegetation section, although some walked by without even glancing towards their freshness. She noticed a section with tables and stepped over for a closer look. Every human was looking down at the device in their hand she observed sadly. She reached up and touched her elongated neck and thought “yes, this was the first step.” When she released her hand it brushed against her curl.

Her curl was an anomaly, a genetic defect and Ostara took great pride in it.  Her dark cinnamon curl stood out against her light Celedon skin and it made her different. Her parents did not share in the joy of her uniqueness and kept that patch of hair shaved close when she was little. Once she was old enough to communicate there was no hiding it any longer.  Her inability to to accept things as fact and without question is also attributed to the genetic defect that birthed her curl. Her desire to know how and why was part of why she was here.

Two human girls and a human boy walked past her and up to the counter where they ordered a hot beverage. It smelled like coffee at first but something called caramel was added to it. The group sat down and immediately looked down at their devices. Ostara, always the curious one, leaned in for a closer look, only to become more confused. They were talking to each other? They were sitting together and choosing to communicate through a device. Ostara was staring at their beautiful full lips when one of the human girls smiled, a big full teeth smile and Ostara gasped. She felt a pang of jealousy as she touched her small tiny lips that would never be beautiful like that. Ostara had done the research on humans from this time period but witnessing it first hand made her stomachs queasy. Her belief was that when humans of this time stopped verbally communicating with each other and were looking down so often that it started the next evolution of the human body.

The kids getting up from the table pulled Ostara back to the present. She noticed that not one of them cleaned up after themselves and didn’t finish what they ordered. Curiosity got the better of her and she picked up one of the cups and began to drink.  “What pure sweet ecstasy is this?” she said to herself. While she was savoring that first swig she heard a human boy say “dude….look at that cup!” The coffee was too good to put down so it floated in mid air as she ran back to the Wingdon.

Close call”, she thought as she checked her time. She had ten minutes to spare and before she started recording what she has witnessed, she sat down and savored every last drop of that caramel coffee concoction. She smiled to herself as she twirled her curl and said out loud”even if I had finished my research, I would come back for the coffee.”

Zia Odanata

My story was the light fluff reading of the night. I was scared to death but I read it anyway. Everybody chuckled at the right moments and I had fun writing it, but compared to the very serious descriptive stories….it was fluff. I am okay with writing fluff as long as it is written well.

The kids need to come home from their dads, I hate when they are gone this long. What have I learned from this week alone? My kids keep me grounded….in my head I was ready to dump this house and move far away from here. I am still looking for that new fresh start.

I also learned that my house stays pretty clean when it is just me.

If I were alone I would not have a dog. I didn’t like having to come home to let dog out and I missed out on a lot of yoga last week because I couldn’t bring myself to leave her alone again.

I don’t mind being alone but I really do lose hours lost in thought. I guess I need to find a new way to ground myself because the kids won’t be with me much longer…..Zia


About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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6 Responses to Out of My League?

  1. Victo Dolore says:

    Fluff is much better than serious crap. Everyone tries to write good serious stuff. Not many can write good fluff! There is your niche. 🙂

  2. I enjoyed this. Even if you feel it is fluff, it was still enjoyable for me. Nothing wrong with fluff. Have a great week.

  3. If you want something bad enough, you do it. Don’t worry about those other writers, or if you’re out of your league, focus on YOU. I know you will do amazing in this new course. I am so proud of where you come. I’ve followed you on this blog for some time and this is exciting to see you do great things.

    • dragonflyzia says:

      Thanks K! I am trying to focus on me, all I want to do is get better…so I will keep chugging along. Thanks you so very much for all of your support and for for your kind words. 🙂

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