This Old House…..Falling Down

Little-Boarded-Up-Building-1024

Okay the photo may be a slight exaggeration….but some people AKA Blondie just don’t understand. I am going to make her try.

I am very grateful to my mother for providing this house for my kids to grow up in….she wanted that more than anything. She came from a time where owning a house meant something….especially for somebody who was “just” a waitress. If you ever wondered why Charlie (the main character in my book) is a waitress….that is to honor my mother who was constantly made to feel “less than” because of her occupation. She was so proud of this house and somehow made it feel “not small”.

She wanted the kids to grow up here and they did. We have lived in this house longer than I have ever lived in any house.The kids only know this as home….

I have friends with closets bigger than the girls room…..

I would love to do laundry without going outside and around the house to get to the basement. A garbage disposal is a beautiful memory of my past…with the old pipes….well water….and septic….I miss that convenience more than anything. The kids would do cartwheels….which has never happened….ever……for a dishwasher. We had one one and a mouse chewed through all of the wires….now I have wild cats, and still no dishwasher.

It would be so nice to be able to plug something in and not worry if I had the adapter on the edge of the plug and/ or not burn myself on the plug that is so hot from running the vacuum cleaner.

It would be nice to get in the shower and not pay attention to the water pressure…..worry about the pump in the well….the water pressure tank…or the water heater.

Let’s not even discuss the heating oil topic……or the roof that’s still leaking…..the 1,000.00 bill I received from the plumber and I still have tree roots and mostly sure that I have black mold…..

I am over all of it….I don’t want to worry about any of it ever again.

I am grateful for the fourteen years we had a place to call home but I am over it. It would be nice to be able to keep the house after filing bankruptcy so I can sell it and have a little bit to start over with….. but I am willing to take the chance to lose it.

I never had a chance to develop my style….every piece of furniture is a hand me down or a garage sale find. I have become an expert of “working with what I have” I don’t want to do that anymore. This house has never been mine….it will always be my moms.

Call me ungrateful….call me stupid….call me whatever you feel like….I am closing this chapter in my life……Zia

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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4 Responses to This Old House…..Falling Down

  1. Victo Dolore says:

    Yay for new beginnings! 🙂

  2. Good luck on your next chapter.

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