What Am I Doing?

I have absolutely no idea what I am doing?  I constantly feel like I am just winging it. I have no idea where I am going and no idea how I will get there. I had a dream the other night the showed a map of the Eastern part of the States. It started in Ohio (obviously) went down through Tennessee and then East. There was a voice that said how do you know where you want to go, if you have never been anywhere?  It was quite unsettling.

It’s been a heck of a week so far…..or maybe it’s the PMS?  I was in Macy’s on Sunday looking for a racer back bra. I started in Dillards which is my go to place for my size but they didn’t have anything.  I have never looked for a bra in Macys before and when I couldn’t find was I was looking for I asked the young girl for help. Her response was “did you look?” This is why Amazon is winning…..I have the store managers name but I haven’t called or emailed yet. I am sure that the manager doesn’t care either. Customer service is a lost art. I ended up finding one in Kohls with a coupon. It doesn’t look like much but it really is flattering. It’s hard to find a sports bra in my size that doesn’t make one giant blob of boob….3263136-3-MULTIVIEW

The one girl at work who is always miserable and gives the rest of us a hard time was in rare form the last two days. Some days I am thankful that I had to work with Bad Personal Hygiene Girl. That girl redefined the word asshole and even on a bad day, there isn’t anyone who can touch her throne. Sometimes it’s nice to have perspective.

You guys know how resistant to change I can sometimes be? Even when the Universe keeps tossing me “hey what are you doing” curves?  I think that tonight may have been the kick in the pants that I needed to make me look for another waitress job. First I know the kid manager is pocketing money, a hostess caught him taking her tip on a to go order, before that I was just guessing. Then there is the whole we bill the party for 20% you get 15 and the house takes 5. Followed by the most you can make is 100.00 and when the gratuity is 165.00 they take out the credit card fee on your part and now its $95.00? Tonight I worked a party with four others. I have no idea what I made because the owner didn’t have enough cash on hand and has to write us checks…..but not today. So, I have no idea how much I made and now I have to hound him for a check? I think my time there may be over….

Some days I really have no idea what the heck I am doing……Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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3 Responses to What Am I Doing?

  1. Some days I don’t know what I’m doing either. It’s like I’m in a fog. Have a great rest of the week.

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