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Do I write or do I keep staring at this blank page? I could tell you about my day….I was so excited to get my business cards and my square. You remember the business cards, although I almost always give my creations away. I even opened up a checking account to go with my square account today. There was no way I was attaching it to my regular account, I feel it’s safer that way. Safety is an illusion in this world but I still try.

My brother came over and we went to the old house today. I had a list so it went quick. I want to work on the basement this week and in the garage but I couldn’t do it without certain things. My old wobbly kitchen table will now be my sewing table. I moved all of my dress clothes into my old closet….the portable kind that held our coats. I grabbed another small table for the boys side of the basement and that is where I have been putting things as I go through bags and boxes. It’s my sorting table for the next few days. I have a garbage bag on one side and a Goodwill bag on the other. I might as well be thorough as I go through this stuff. I made a nice dent tonight and it was a good distraction.

My dear friend who is still holding her own as I type went into A-fib last night. Her husband says that her heart is doing wonky things. There may have to be another surgery. One of the RN’s that I work with has been really good with laying it all out for me. I did not like what she had to say today. I am grateful for her time and honesty but it interferes with my denial. All I have done is cry and write her letters that she may or may not ever read.  It sucks being helpless and is not something I do well. I have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach…..I don’t like that either……Zia

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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