Oh Boy….or Girl?

Oh boy, where do I begin?  Maybe I should start with the big thing? Before I continue  I have to say that sometimes being right just blows.

Sometime around the fourth grade I think, I’m not sure on the year…the girl started hanging out with a girl from down the street. I knew her parents from when I worked at the bar and they are nice people. They smoke a lot of pot and I think that the husband may have done some stronger stuff with the Cockroach, but they seem like nice people. This is not about drugs because that was a big duh! Yes, of course this girl was going to participate in recreational drugs..pot, pills (aderol) and acid. Acid, according to my daughter is coming back…okie dokie.

The girl stopped hanging out with her in seventh grade and part of that was because of me. It was the only time I went to the principal about a situation. There was a girl who was only at the school briefly but she was bad news and when they started hanging out, I didn’t want my kid near either of them. The two of them were suspended for cyber bullying the next year. I don’t dislike this girl, she was at my house all of the time for many years. She is responsible enough that I trust her to drive my kid to school. It helps that she is a little afraid of me. I meet her in the morning and she takes the girl the rest of the way.

She was late yesterday and I said something to the girl when I came home from work and the girl said “she was throwing up again, I told her she better get that checked.” Oh my freaking goodness! My stomach sank all the was down to my toes. The girl said “my mind didn’t even go there.” Today my girl said the this girl isn’t planning on riding any rides at the fair because of her situation. I called this in sixth grade, I don’t want to be right. I want it to be some weird virus that lasts two weeks, mostly in the morning.  She has been with this boy for more than a year and while I never saw her going to college….she’s only been a senior for a week and a half. This is just crazy and I’m not supposed to know. I have no idea how this is going to play out…

Today after I dropped some stuff off at Goodwill, I went inside to look around. They are getting rid of their greeting cards and since the birthday cards are my responsibility at work, I was excited to find some for a quarter a piece. I was looking through the cards and talking to the person next to me, not paying any attention when she looked up. She was hugging me before I could even register what was happening. I swear the Universe is just messing with me now. Of all of the bartenders from that bar and it had to be her. Talk about fishing…I told her nothing, absolutely nothing. I actually caught her on the phone….while I was still in the store. Yep, every pound was noted and I am sure that the look on my face when she hugged me was reported as well. Remember that part about me not being able to hide my emotions?  Let’s just say that she didn’t try and hug me again. That girl can spread gossip faster than a flying ember grows fire in a forest. I still can’t believe that happened.

Yesterday I had a dream and I pushed it out of my head because it was about the Cockroach and I was trying to remember book boyfriends. This is what I remember a day later. I was walking around the town, it was not my town but it was a very familiar town, I knew where everything was. Can you have Deja Vu in a dream? I know I have been there before. Part of this may come from me wanting to start running. I keep trying to talk the boy into it but he won’t bite. I can’t start with people who are already runners, I have to start with somebody who is in as bad of shape as I am. It will probably end up being me and the dog…. So, back to the dream. I was cutting through a part of town that was slightly iffy when I saw a beat up blue pick up truck with the Cockroach driving it. Talk about hightailing it! I ran until I ended up behind some bush. Then I was at some kind of apartment town house building that I wasn’t familiar with and the Cockroach wanted to use the bathroom. In my head I was saying “don’t let him in because he will never leave.” I didn’t really live there so he went in and I found his prescription drugs that I tossed in the garbage can while saying “maybe the government will buy you more” and I left. That’s when I woke up. It was so weird. He was never on prescription drugs, only the illegal ones.

Everything is so weird right now. If it wasn’t for a comment from https://wakingtheinfinite.wordpress.com/  I wouldn’t even know what hot chi is and why I was having this experience. (Thank you again)  Let me tell you this…hot chi does not respect the universal law of deodorant. This includes the store bought as well. I can work and sweat in the heat all summer and not be stinky but 3.5 minutes of boiling chi has me washing my arm pits out with soap and water. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I started it with the Reiki and I chose to start working with the root chakra…so I am on this train until it takes me wherever I am supposed to be. I definitely need to work on my grounding methods as well as breathing because sometimes I just can’t breathe. I slept like a rock last night and I am hoping that part is starting to get better. I even fell completely asleep between my snooze buttons so it was a little hard to drag myself out of bed this morning. Maybe it was the bath?

I sent my cousin a book in the mail today. To me she is my cousin, to the sticklers of the rules, her mother is my father’s cousin so if you want to call it something more formal, more power to you.  She is in her senior year of college and her major is criminal justice. When SB and I stopped at an estate sale two weekends ago I found a book for her from 1937. Every bookshelf should have an old book or two so I hope she gets a kick out of it.IMG_4261FullSizeRender(44)

I like to do that when I find something that reminds me of someone else. I buy it and send it on its way…it’s all part of not ignoring my inner voice. I am never there to see how it is received but so far I think it has gone fairly well. Who doesn’t like to get a random surprise in the mail? If I can make one person smile today…it’s a good thing…..Zia

 

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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