The Opposite

I did the exact opposite of everything that I “should” have done today and that’s okay. I think I just needed a recharge weekend.IMG_4285

I had every intention of spray painting all of the wine bottles that I collected so they would be ready to go. You know what I did?  I sat down and watched Practical Magic with the girl. At that exact moment that’s what I wanted to do. Those bottles that need painting will still be there tomorrow.

I have been pretty good about not spending money for a while. Yes I spent some at the artisan festival with SB…a sixty dollar day but other than that I have been pretty good. Barnes and Noble sent me a 40% off coupon this weekend. That’s a once maybe twice a year coupon, I couldn’t waste it. I would have never bought these cards at full price but I will use them everyday for a very long time. There are seven chakras to get though and I have been on the root for a while.FullSizeRender(45)

I only pulled out the root because that is where I am at the moment. I am not sure if it will help any with meditation but it should with visualization. With tax it was thirteen dollars and some change after the coupon.

The boy had to work so the girl and I headed over to PT’s for a cookout. It was a nice time although it gave L plenty of time to bring up the ominous “don’t be me” speech again. I was a good sport because her heart is in the right place but come on…. You guys are with me most days, when would I have time to date? Yes….that is one of the lies that I tell myself and everyone else. Just like the movie today, if I wanted to do it, I would make time. The truth is I am terrified at the mere thought of dating. I just reached a point in my life where I am comfortable with most things, a man would just turn everything upside down. Plus they demand a lot of intention.  My fear card trumps her ‘don’t be me” card at this stage of the game.  It doesn’t matter much anyway, I have placed myself in a way that it is almost impossible for someone to get to know me well enough to even ask me out. Could you even imagine that? I couldn’t….I’d have an anxiety attack before I ever left the house.

I think the girl had fun. She enjoyed the banter between L and PT, when we got in the car I told her “that’s what forty plus years of friendship looks like.” I have tried really hard to show her the difference between acquaintances and friends her whole life. I think that is why she has escaped all of the drama thus far.  She says that she has social anxiety….I think she is just shy and quiet until she knows you, and then look out….she’ll talk your ear off.

I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday, tomorrow morning will be here before we know it…..Zia


About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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