Over Emotional?

I am beginning to think that maybe there is something wrong with me? I have been blaming a lot on peri menopause because I have never experienced it and I need something to rationalize my behavior? Any advice from some women who have been there would be helpful.

Yesterday I went into work at 9:30 and surprise, nobody was there to let me in. So I had to sit there and wait for the owner. He felt a little guilty and helped me set up some…or he fell and hit his head, one or the other? The party was a small baby shower and it was the best group of people that I have ever waited on. I have been waiting tables on and off since I was sixteen so that says a lot. They were loud, loving, creative, and full of laughter. One of the soon to be grandmothers made all of the decorations and most of the shower prizes. I only saw the lotion bars from the prizes. This adorable bunny was the centerpiece on all of the tables.fullsizerender50

They really were a lot of fun and the bonus was that they tipped me over my cut of the “service charge”.   I think that I miss my aunt and cousins and may be in the need of  some family girls time. I think we are done with weddings for a long time so who knows when we will all be in the same state, the same town at the same time.

I was done with the party and the clean up by 2:30 so I double checked the schedule and son of a beehive that kid put me on the floor at 3:45. I was not a happy camper! I went to wine taste at Giant Eagle and came right back. She was sampling the bourbon barreled wines and I was not a fan. This was the first time in a long time that I didn’t like any of the choices. The first one I called toothpaste wine. I can’t remember what it was called but it 1000 in the title and a buffalo on the label. You know how juice tastes after you just brushed your teeth? That’s what the first one tasted like and the last was the new Apothic Inferno which tasted more like alcohol than wine.

I went back to work after whining about it for a bit, set everything up, waited on one table and left. It wasn’t worth it but they needed someone on the floor. I feel like my whole Saturday was wasted.

I came home and made dinner and then we ran to Bath and Body works. They had their Wallflowers on sale and we were almost out. They did not have the Dragonfruit which did not bother my nose at all. Now I am trying a vanilla marshmallow flavor which isn’t that horrible. We’ll see if it ends up giving me a headache.

On the way home Karma Chameleon came on the radio so I was singing the parts that I knew as the girl rolled her eyes. She complained about it being “like four minutes long” and when I asked her who sang it, she didn’t know. When I told her Boy George she said “oh the guy that looks like Sansa Stark?” Holy crap he does! I never noticed.img_4372

We came home and I started doing the dishes because she has been pushing this whole Civil War thing all week. I swear if I heard that Bucky is a victim not a villain one more time…. So I worked all week and my second job on Saturday and I am in there doing the dishes….all I wanted her to do was fill out one college application. She has like five that are going to wave the application fee, Case Western….Notre Dame are last two that she has received. There is always an excuse.  I lost it. For five maybe six minutes I lost it in a lecture mixed with an abundance of colorful metaphors.  It’s bullshit! In someways she is exactly me and in others I have no idea who she is. Where would I be today if I had those choices? I was accepted to three colleges and I paid for every application fee myself. Nobody encouraged me, nobody helped me research the programs that I was interested in. It will cost her nothing but her time and this last one didn’t even require an essay. She won’t get a job, she is still wishy washy on getting a license…where did I go wrong? Am I forcing the issue because I wish that I had those options when I was her age? Or am I right?

I was pissed and she wasn’t very happy with me but we still sat and watched the movie. I knew that I would like it if I just sat down and watched it but in my head I feel like I lost two hours.

I got up this m0rning and went to PT’s for breakfast.  It was a little rough getting up since I didn’t have a sleep in day this weekend and because of that movie and laundry I didn’t go to bed until 1 am. Breakfast was yummy as always and it was nice to catch up. I left there and went to straight to the extended care hospital to visit my friend. She didn’t feel very well today, the constant nausea is getting to her. I was surprised that she is back on solid foods. She took one taste of the soup they brought and pushed it away. I accepted that mission and still have to put away the wedding soup that is cooling on the stove. She will have tasty soup tomorrow.

I had to stop on the way home to buy a new Crock Pot because the insert in mine broke the night before. Now that I had a mission there was no defrost time to be had so I picked up another chicken while I was in Walmart. I hate that store but desperate times….

I picked up the girl and we ran to the library and Pet Smart. Tidy cats litter doesn’t really have a smell to it and I think that was part of the littler box problem. I need a better littler box as well but I am still not 100% sure that we are keeping this cat so I am holding off on that. They may find a chip when I take him/her to get checked out. I am hoping to have time this week.

I finally sat down to go through the Sunday ads. The girl was watching season 1 of Super Girl. I saw the end of the first episode last year but I don’t remember the beginning. I got all teary eyed when she accepted her powers and showed them to the world. The girl made some comment about hormones and being out of whack….maybe? I don’t know why I got all emotional, I wasn’t even aware that was a big deal. I have always been one to cry, even at commercials.  Today I just feel tired.

I think I may need a sanity day. A day where I have no where to be, nothing to do and that includes taking care of the animals. I need some alone time with myself in silence….I really need the silence part. I put in for vacation the week before Thanksgiving. I am not going anywhere and I have to use it so why not November. That gives me one week with no excuses for NANOWRIMO. I look forward to that week but I need a sanity day sooner than that. I need to find a new body of water that I can visit in silence….for now maybe I will head to the old mill on Wednesday? It won’t be silent but it has water.

My rant tonight was over the litter box. I never said that “I” wanted a cat and yet here I am feeding something else and cleaning out a litter box. It was a small rant compared to last night but I was still upset. Tomorrow is the first day of the office switch a roo and I am not up to dealing with negative Nancy. Then I saw this on Facebook, it made me smile, I think I will try and focus on this image in the morning……Ziaimg_4371


About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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4 Responses to Over Emotional?

  1. Victo Dolore says:

    Sansa Stark and Boy George? OMG. She’s right.

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