Obsessing

I have of course obsessed the last few days over my experience Wednesday and have struggled while focusing on my throat chakra. I have had a constant “lump in my throat” feeling since then an am aware that part of that could be me thinking about it. I do feel so much better after talking to KW tonight.  She sees things much differently than I do and I have always felt that I should just listen and not question. After I leave I always wish that I would have questioned.  She held nothing back tonight and I am feeling extremely overwhelmed.

First I am not allowed to say “I am weird, crazy,different…there is more of me to love these days” or anything else along those lines. From now on I am to treat myself like I was my friend and I would never talk about my friend like that. I know she is right and this girl can’t even take a compliment so I’m not sure how to accomplish this. I always tease her and say that not all of us have a husband who keeps pom poms in his closet, today I felt like she was using them for me.

Some of the things she told me tonight were a little hard to take. This may not be verbatim but you will get the idea….She told me that she thinks that I am hiding behind a mask and someday I will wake up and realize that this whole facade is almost funny. She also said I am waking up and remembering who I am because everything I need to know is already inside of me. Once I remember my power everything will fall into place. She has always said that she could feel my power and it was “so powerful” and I have no idea what that means? All I know is when I talk to her I feel “less crazy” because I know how all of this sounds.

We talked about crystals and how to use the  grid, family, friends, and men. I told her that I knew that I have created a life where there was no way for a man to get close. She said what everybody does “someday”. Maybe? Personally…..every relationship that I have ever been in the man has tried to squash me…..I don’t want to be squashed again…..not all of us have men with pom poms encouraging us to explore ourselves. Her husband is a good guy, one of the few.

This little short story is what came to me when I was having my bars done and was mentally saying “let it go.” This is why I am going to do it gain in November right before I take my weeks vacation….so I can write. I have no idea about the end, I haven’t felt like I was being watched for a long while now. Maybe it is just my over active imagination?…..Ziaimg_4443

 

The Releasing

 

The moon was dark that night. Summer was turning to Fall and the air still warm held a crispness in it’s breeze.  She stood in the center of a circle of fire. Flames that would rise and fall with her breath as if they were a part of her. The heat was intense and sweat trickled down her temple and ran along her jawline as she concentrated on her breathing. The words came to her and she whispered them, giving them life.

She lifted her arms and with palms facing up she released everything she had to the Universe above. At some point the release became an exchange and she felt the tingle in her palms. The tingle became a hotness, followed by a zapping of blue sparks. The sparks became bolts as the clouds rolled in. The sky rumbled with a thunder that she could feel in her stomach all the way down to her toes. The rain came next, quenching the heat of her fire and she laughed. She laughed and then she danced in the rain with not a care in the world for she held nothing back now.

He stood behind the mighty oak tree with bow in hand. He might not understand the changes that she was going through but he has been watching for too long to turn back now. He vowed to protect her long ago and has stayed in the shadows just watching. He had just witnessed her bring forth fire and rain, what had he gotten himself into?

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About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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3 Responses to Obsessing

  1. We all are different but that’s what makes us interesting. Accept your difference, there is nothing wrong with it. Liked the story. Hope you have a good weekend.

  2. Pingback: Fear is My Demon | Once Upon the Wings of a Dragonfly

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