Work was work today, only a little harder. You know how I get when I don’t feel good, things get to me. Today was one of those days. Thankfully it was only one patient. I looked at M and said “I just can’t.” Just hearing her ask the same question ten times in optical was too much for me. It’s not her fault that she is that way, I just couldn’t handle it. Plus everything was really loud and people were extra smelly. You would think that my nose would be less sensitive since it’s congested, but it’s the opposite.
There were about ten of us that went out to dinner after work and exchanged secret Santa gifts. They picked a Mexican restaurant down the street and it was the nastiest food. That wasn’t just from me. I returned my margarita, it tasted like syrup. It was so sweet that I couldn’t drink it. I wasn’t that hungry so I was looking for something that I could take home and the girl could finish so I picked a burger. It was a step down from McDonalds…. I wasn’t there for the food, I was there for the company. Until the conversation turned to my lack of sex life. That was a dramatic turn of events…how did that happen? I shut that talk down as fast as I could. Why does it even matter?
I had to stop at the pharmacy on the way home to pick up my antibiotics….yes I failed and had to turn to modern medicine. My phone rang so I looked at it and it was that guy from an account at the lab. What does he want? I haven’t talked to him in at least eight months. I didn’t answer because I was driving and getting ready to go into a store. So I picked up my prescription and some organic yogurt and came home. I returned his call and once again my sex life comes up. Yes I talked to this man every day for many years, I met him once in like 2007, he is too old for me and again I had to steer the conversation away from that topic. What in the world made him call me? Is he lonely because it’s the holidays? Why is my sex life the topic of another conversation? I don’t get it?
I am not lonely, I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything. I would be lying if I said I didn’t occasionally have a thought cross my mind like “it was be nice to have someone to do that with.” Sometimes I miss snuggling with someone but these moments pass and I am fine. I don’t know why people insist that happiness = man? In my case it has always been the opposite. I only have thirty odd years left and I would rather spend that time bettering myself than being dragged through drama by someone who wants to take my power away. I guess that makes me kind of a loner and I am okay with that….Zia