I did not go to my friend’s house today….I couldn’t work up the energy. I really need to work on protecting myself and not absorbing so much from others. There was a smaller group there last night and I think it made it a little harder. Here is an example…I am on the couch with KB. When I feel her starting to get emotional, I take my hand and rub her arm. Her little boys sees this and walks across the room and hugs his mother…..my heart breaks. I was so drained last night so today I took a break and of course I feel guilty about it….
After eating my own pumpkin seeds for most of November I found that I couldn’t go back to the store bought. They were just too salty so I needed an alternative. Somebody gave me Skinny Pop to try and while it was non gmo and yummy, it was ridiculously expensive. I found this bag of kernels for $2.69, I put olive oil in a pan with Himalayan sea salt and I make my own. Much cheaper and I know exactly what’s in it. I hope it really is non gmo…..I have no way to check that for sure.
I still went and had my massage today even though KB had to cancel and holy cow was it amazing. I have never had a massage before. I have never been naked in a public place that wasn’t a doctors office before either. Well almost naked…panties only. It took some courage but I did it and wow…just wow. I had an hour massage followed by fifteen minutes of Reiki and it was unbelievable. I have never been more relaxed in my life.
When she was doing the Reiki she asked me “do you like birds?” Tropical birds?” I answered with “I like birds, I’m partial to birds of prey especially the red tailed hawk and eagle.” She said “sometimes I see wings and yours are iridescent blue and green.” I waited until after the Reiki treatment was finished and I propped my chin on my hand and asked “iridescent like a dragonfly? Dragonfly is one of my totems.” She shook her head no. “They are big and fancy and there is gunmetal mixed in, almost galactic.” I can’t really picture that but it’s a nice thought. I like wings….maybe they are there and maybe not? To be honest I was too relaxed to care about anything. When I came downstairs the one of the owners said “you looked wasted.” I guess that’s what uber relaxed looks like on me.
I am pretty done for the evening. I will probably go to bed right after my shower…hopefully I will sleep hard, with no dreams. I have had a few doozies lately but that is a story for another day……Zia