I don’t even know where to begin…..it has been an emotional couple of days. There are less and less people at KB’s everyday. I know she needs to ease into it but I am worried about her. Last night there were five of us for a while and ended with three of us before I left. The girl sent me this text….
I was close to leaving anyway and came home and made a quick dinner. I really need to have some freezer meals in place for this exact reason.
Then I learned that my little buddy and her family took her mother off of life support yesterday. She’s a tough old Italian lady and is still holding on today. It won’t be long though, she is old and the cancer came back. I’m not quite sure how I am going to be there for both of them. Maybe I will get lucky and there won’t be any overlapping crisis.
Today KB had the mass and the calling hours. It was a little backwards but she wanted it done in one day. It was heart wrenching to witness, even the girl was crying and she never met the deceased. I think maybe she was putting herself in KB’s daughter’s shoes. I’m glad that she has empathy, not everyone does.
We left and ran to TJ Maxx before book club. Last night in the middle of the night I had “holiday heart”. That same little voice that said “it’s time” when I quit smoking said “lay off the wine” to me last night. Did I mention it was a rough week? So the girl and I are experimenting with teas and these are the ones we picked.
We are going to give it our best shot. I only have one of those stainless steel tea balls and it’s in her cup of Earl grey right now. I want to try the cinnamon sage one first, it smells pretty darn good.
Book club was a lot of fun and we had a pretty good discussion even though not one of us liked the book. We talked and laughed so much that I felt guilty when I got in my car to leave. One of my oldest friends just said good bye to her husband and how could I leave the calling hours and not think about it at all for that hour and a half. Maybe I needed to forget for a while? Mostly I just want to crawl into bed and sleep……Zia