I think in little ways over the past decade or so I have been working on ways to call my spirit back to me. The deeper I go the more I feel like all I have to do is remember. I’m not sure what it is that I need to remember, I only know that I need to remember something. I don’t feel lost, blocked maybe, but not lost.
The Reiki has helped tremendously and I feel like I have grown in leaps and bounds since taking that step. I am actively continuing working on further growth in that area. Tonight I stepped a little out of my comfort zone and went to an introduction to Shamanism lecture. I found it interesting and decided that I need to explore it a little more. Before I left I signed up for a more intensive workshop next month. I really liked the woman who was giving the lecture and if my hair would look like that….I would stop coloring it tomorrow.
Towards the end there was a drumming session. The goal was to journey into the underworld to find your power animal. That didn’t work for me, maybe because I know my totems? Maybe it will come to me in my dreams like so much has lately? Let me tell you….it didn’t much matter to me because I enjoyed every single minute of those drums.
The print is of an old tapestry and I can’t remember the name of it. The unicorn stands out but there are many other symbolic animals in the image. I thought it was a steal at $4.99. They had six of them but I don’t have the space or the money to spend on something so frivolous so I picked my favorite one. There’s a fairy project that I want to try with the mannequin and that super sharp coat was $1.99. It was in mint condition but the size was 18W and that wouldn’t fit me. Luckily it fit Force of Nature Girl perfectly. I couldn’t pass it up…..
The kids and I went to look at that house yesterday. I’m still blown away by the realtor. She basically told me that I didn’t want to live there. I should look way out that way, towards the rural area. The house next door was in limbo so who knows who could move in and while the area was okay right now, it could change at any moment. She then said that she knew that the owners would never rent because they weren’t in a situation to do so. I happen to know that KB talked to them a few days before and they were. I was crushed. I know that the realtor was right about everything but the renting part so that in retrospect was a good thing. I really wanted to live across the street from KB for a while. I think we both could have benefited from it.
The boy had a chance to do his part in helping the family out in their time of crisis…..He carried KB’s husband from the car to the house. Whatever vessel she picked for him was pretty heavy and the boy was a trooper about it.
So now we are back to looking for a place. I really don’t want to stay here. The sad part is…..all of the houses that I like with the built ins and the unique/ornate moldings are all on the crappy side of town. I am just looking for a little bit of charm, a lot of whimsy in a safe neighborhood. That’s a tall order in this town.
Once again I am disgusted with the county engineer’s office. It stopped snowing at 1/1:30am and there was no excuse for the condition of the roads this morning. The big route was clear as a bell because it is maintained by the state. It really is a sin. Everyone that drove from the south today said “we were good until we hit NL” That was the town South of the old house. I get so upset and then I remember that the girl picked the local university and now I’m stuck every Winter in the same cycle of disgust until she graduates. Ugh!
I am off to shower and finish the book club book. I only have thirty pages to go but I am in charge of the questions. Tomorrow night will be a long one and hopefully a good one…..Zia