Question Before the Court

Do I…..or don’t I? This whole school year I have done everything in my power for the girl so she can walk at her home school’s graduation. Then she wavered for a bit in the last few weeks which let me get my hopes up. Now she is leaning towards walking again. I was surprised at how much I didn’t want to go?  I saw her graduate from her school with all of her friends and while the actual diploma comes from her home school , it’s not required that she walk on graduation day. I was fine for all of this time because I knew I had to do it and then she had to waver…..it was just long enough for my real feelings to come to the surface.

I could go with the one mom I am friends with….barricade myself within her family unit with the hopes that I remain invisible. For me it feels like going backwards. I don’t give two shits what any of those people think of me but there is always that chance that one of those idiots will send Cockroach a text. I don’t want any drama and this is the very last piece of that part of my past. Can’t I just skip it? The parents most likely to send the text will be there I’m sure. Last I heard their daughter wasn’t being detained by the police in any way so they will be there…trying to stir up something because that’s what those people do. I really, really don’t want to go.

I went to the Saturday yoga class that I have been going to this morning. It’s such a nice gentle class and she always has the best music playing. Sometimes I will hear a song and it will strike a chord with me on some level. This song did just that and the video reminded me that the girl and I never saw this movie. I went online this afternoon and reserved it from the library.

A funny thing happened after class….I was talking to the teacher and my throat closed and I started coughing. Not in a normal way. It was like the Universe was saying “stop talking now” The minute I walked away from her I stopped coughing, it was the weirdest feeling. I also felt something touch my side during savasana. That’s not a first for me although I usually hear things more. It was a very weird morning.

I left yoga and went to the ReStore where I found this signed print in a horrible frame. I took the print and left them with the frame so they could resell it.

I was drawn to the image instantly although I feel she is a little sad. The girl thinks the face is creepy. I think statuesque is a better description but that’s just me. A woman I worked with at Joann’s gave me this as a present because she knew I liked the frame. I never had a place to hang it so it’s been in storage for about ten years. I think I will take it to Hobby Lobby and have a mat cut so I can use this frame.

The girl and I watched the first episode of Anne with an E last night. I loved those books when I was little and I also loved the original mini series. I believe this little girl as Anne. Matthew…while not Richard Farnsworth has won me over. I’m not sure yet about the new Marilla because Colleen Dewhurst was the perfect person for this roll. I give the new actress some credit because you can tell she studied the original. I haven’t made it to the part with the new Gilbert but Jonathan Crombie has some big shoes to fill. The new Anne is pretty young so will they recast her every season? They were able to make Megan Follows look young in Anne of Green Gables so it was an easier transition into Anne of Avonlea. Only time will tell and I have a couple of book page wreaths that I need to make this weekend so I may get quite a few episodes in…..Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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2 Responses to Question Before the Court

  1. Corky Morrissey says:

    WHEWEEEEEE – YOU NEVER STOP – BUT THAT IS GOOD – LOVER YOU

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