Fear is My Demon

I am going to start with this because well…it’s Buffy….chock full of life lessons. Thanks Joss Whedon, you’re a genius!

I have had a little issue the last few days. I will preface this with the fact that I didn’t have this issue until my friends freaked out. You all know about my 4am ghost. Nothing scary, he is just here. Occasionally a door will slam or I will hear something that’s not there. I just ignore it for the most part. The girl was in her room a few weeks ago and her empty corner growled at her. She has only slept in her room a few times since then and it hasn’t happened since. When I was at brunch after the psychic fair on Sunday the girl mentioned it to the group who freaked a little. So I googled…..

You know how well it works for you when you Google your symptoms instead of going to the doctor? It’s much worse when you Google something paranormal. All of a sudden my ghost is now a demon and I am freaking out. Never once did I feel afraid or unsafe. Maybe a little creeped out a time or two but nothing I couldn’t handle. I can’t even tell you how freaked out I was after the Google incident. I am lucky to know enough people that I feel are qualified to ask for advice. I calmed down some after talking to two of them on Monday.

Today I went into my little witch store to get some supplies and discuss things. There was a psychic who was just visiting and looking at some cards when I sat down to talk to the owner. She totally took over the conversation. Remember when I was a little jealous about not getting a reading? I got more than a reading today for sure.

She said more than once “nobody will punish you for your power in this life.” In one of my more recent lives I was German and I was burned because of who I was and that is why I am afraid to remember. I was born in Germany in this life as a US citizen and my nationality doesn’t matter. I was a healer in the past and knew my way around herbs. My spirit guide is the love of my existence and he is by my side always. Any danger has to get through him first so don’t be afraid. I am assuming she is referring to the metaphysical? When she was taking about him and describing him, oh….and talking about the middle ages all I could think of was this story…..https://onceuponthewingsofadragonfly.wordpress.com/2016/09/30/obsessing/   I wrote that after a bars session. I never have experienced anything like that before or since. True? I don’t know, who is to say? I can only tell you that this is what it reminded me of today.

She also said “stop looking in books, everything you need is already inside of you” She also said that in this German past life I believed in all the myths and tales…..I still do. It doesn’t even matter if anything she said today  was factual….she was like a little supernatural cheerleader to me and I am nowhere near as freaked out as I was. I do believe she is right on the point that I would feel it, if it was bad. 

I still picked up a few supplies. I went to the Catholic church up the street to get some holy water.  The smell as soon as I opened the door brought back memories of the first eighteen years of my life.  I still don’t believe in organized religion but I am happy that I was able to get holy water. I was expecting a fountain but instead found this….

The girl is the one who heard the growl so I am waiting until she gets home and we will sage her room and then holy water it together. There are a few more steps but you get the idea. I have had to figure most things out by myself and it isn’t always pretty, if I can make it easier for her then I will. She heard it and she is going to have to learn how to protect herself. I made sure I brought a nice size container for the holy water, I would say it was a 16oz size so I could put some in my diffuser with some Frankincense and Myrrh right now.

Last night my little buddy came over and we worked on our bullet journals. I made a couple of new pages including a fun unicorn page. I  have grown up unicorn stickers on the way in the mail as we speak.

Last night my little buddy brought dinner, chicken with zucchini and a salad…..it was so good, plus I didn’t have to cook. Tonight is Outlander night and she is coming back over which is why I am blogging now. I am making taco salads for dinner tonight. The girl isn’t home so maybe we will get two episodes in?

I hope at least some of today’s post made sense? I am right back to realizing that I am afraid of myself and not knowing how to release said fear…….Zia

Advertisements

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
This entry was posted in life and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Please feel free to share your thoughts..........

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.