The Struggle Begins….

It’s that time of year again…..the part that comes after the fun of Halloween and the glory of the fall landscape. The short, dark, dreary days that I struggle with every year. I know every season has it’s place but for me in this world, it’s a struggle. Most of me wants to hibernate…just wake me up around ground hog day. Maybe it would be different if I lived in a place where the sun actually shined during the daylight hours? There is a print by Kinuko Craft that I have always loved. I used to have it hanging in the old house. The print was too big and the house to small so I gave it to PT’s daughter when she needed some art for her apartment. This picture has always spoke to me. If you look in the very back of the print you will see a hole and on the other side of that hole is Winter.

When I have days like this it’s hard for me to get anything done and if I sit down….it’s all over! I came home from work, made a pot of cream of artichoke and hazelnut soup, and while it was cooling I ran to Sam’s Club with the boy. We needed bottled water. While I was there I picked up some spinach, bananas and some disposable cups with lids. (I’m sorry environment about those cups) I’m going to start making those smoothies in the morning again. I’m hoping that will help some and I do remember how it helped with the dark circles when I drank them five days a week. The only thing that goes in my YETI is ice and water….I’m very attached to that cup. I thought the disposable cups with the lids would be easier. (I know it’s bad) I hate this funk so I hope this helps some.

Yesterday I met my wine steward friend at the vault restaurant for lunch, it was the brightest part of my day. That says a lot for a cold, rainy Ohio day. It was nice to catch up. It was a good thing they weren’t busy because we were there for at least an hour and a half. When we were leaving they had these little pumpkins on the bar….they are so cute. I have seen this project before but not with the ribbon, it was a nice touch. I of course took some pictures so I could make them myself.

Hopefully I will remember this next year. There just aren’t enough hours….

I had some serious living off the grid moments today. I’m not even sure where that came from? Where do you go to hide from the world…the mountains? I’m a flatlander so again, I have no idea where this is coming from? It’s not a safety thing… a crazy “wrong turn” mountain creature could snap my neck easy peasy in the middle of nowhere. There isn’t a safe place in our world right now.  Today at 3 o’clock  I was ready to pack my stuff and move to the mountains. I would probably survive two maybe three days….depending on the weather. Like I said…I have no idea where that came from today?

Today is day two of nanowrimo, ask me how many words I have written? If you guessed a big fat zero, you would be correct. I did pull out my storyboard today, it’s been a long time since I looked at it. Maybe if I am lucky my characters will start talking to me again? Maybe if I focus on my story more, I will stop having this weird Native American ghost Shaman dream? Four nights in a row? I don’t know what that’s about either? Something about a man and his strength and how I am going to need it? There will never be another man. I can’t even imagine a future that involves one. Nope, this girl is on her own for the rest of this lifetime…..that ghost is hanging out in the wrong girl’s dream…..Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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6 Responses to The Struggle Begins….

  1. I have yet to see a mountain creature but if I do I will send you a picture. Oh and it was sunny today the sunshine on the mountains is beautiful.

    • dragonflyzia says:

      Your mountains have the Donner party history (the Shining), I was referring to the scary creatures from the movie Wrong Turn and I am pretty sure they were from the Appalachian mountains. You do make your mountains look lovely. I am a flatlander and that points out the biggest flaw in my plan. 🙂

  2. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Zia, I can so relate to this. I suffer from SAD every winter and I like you, IF I hit that couch and decide to watch movies it’s all over. It’s so easy to succumb. It’s so easy not to move. TODAY I AM going to the gym darn it! No more excuses! I will NOT follow what I did last year … couch potato. I also today ordered from Amazon a SAD light which had thousands of reviews and most of them positive. As for me to try to get lost in this world off the grid so to speak …. I hike deep in a forest. My cellphone however still works so I’m really not off the grid but at least I am away from the NOISE in this world. BIG HUGS and I wish you all the best in your fight! 🌈

    • dragonflyzia says:

      Amy, you will have to let me know how that light works for you….I have always wondered? Big Hugs back to you! I always talk about going off the grid but to be honest…how long can I go without WiFi? I would like to think that I have enough to do and or read that I wouldn’t miss it, but I would be lying. When life gets hard that is where my mind tends to go. This world is hard enough to live in and when you take the sun away…it’s so much worse. Hang in there Amy and thanks for your kind words. 🙂

      • AmyRose🌹 says:

        Zia, I should be getting that light I think today. I will do my best to find you when I use it to tell you how it effects me. My blog has gotten so huge that it is so challenging keeping up with everyone. Yes this world at times is hard to live in. I know that one in spades. That is why I am so determined to find the Beauty in this world to keep my spirits high. Have a great day!! ☺️

        • dragonflyzia says:

          You do an excellent job of finding the beauty in this world! Thank you for sharing it with the world. I look forward to hearing how the lamp works for you. Have a great week!

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