Stone Cold Secrets

I promise to keep the whining to a minimum today. I wasn’t loving the 4 degree start to the day and to be honest the 11 degrees wasn’t too bad today because of the sun. I have more than a week to go before this breaks. I hope the dreadful little ticks are dying as I type….that would almost make it worth while.

Today the girl and I took down the Christmas tree. It seems a little early I know but it has been up since before Thanksgiving. I need to focus on purging things and the tree was in my way. I haven’t sold on eBay for a while but I think that is where I will start. I still have presents for PT,KB, and RD and then Christmas can officially be put away until next year. Oh …I also have my little buddy’s Hogmanay presents from everyone since she was sick and couldn’t make it. I need her to take those asap.

I had to take a nap today to keep myself going. I usually don’t nap for an hour but I needed it today. I slept horribly last night. I could hear the girl playing her game and the boy playing his in the basement. He was trying so hard to  be quiet and he hasn’t had Xbox live for a while so I let it go. I had to sleep some because I had weird dreams again. One of the dreams was about Cockroach’s son? He was a good kid and I hope he is doing well but I have no idea where that dream came from? Part of it is my crappy pillows I bought a new one today so hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

Some of my Scottish cookbooks came in at the library today, I have five more on the way. I am looking specifically for a recipe for New Year’s Day. I am praying that nasty cabbage isn’t part of their tradition..yuck. I was talking to my little brother about First Footing and the traditions. Neither of us have any idea where we can find a tall dark haired man to walk over the threshold after midnight. He was asking me tough questions..”can it be any man, or does it need to be the right man?” I have no idea, I am just trying to think of anyone who fits the description that I can say “here is some whiskey” or maybe “here are some cookies” and nicely say “get out”. How sad is that? I’m sure the Scots have more fun with this and it’s more of a community thing. I just want the good luck without the mess… almost always equal a big mess.

In retrospect I should have went with my gut right there. Instead I did the normal thing and told myself I was imagining it and ignored it. I think this conversation took place Christmas Eve. We talked again last night…….Last night my brother told me that he might be gay. I’m not sure exactly  how this works but I’m pretty sure that “might be” after the age of forty…pretty much is? I don’t care if he has wild chandelier sex with aliens on a UFO as long as he’s happy. Whoa…just whoa. He mentioned how I eluded to it as a joke in the past….No….I made a flippant comment because I was frustrated that he wouldn’t divorce my cheating (now ex) sister in law. He is my brother and I love him no matter what. I did say later in the conversation…”we are going to have to determine your type…we can’t both be eyeing the same hot guy in a kilt when we get to Scotland.” His response…”do you have any idea how weird it is to hear you say those words?”  I would never admit it to him but it was really weird for me to say them.

It’s also really hard for me to not say anything to the girl. Not because I am embarrassed but because he is not ready and I know she would tell her dad and he will tell his mother aka the bride of Satan. They don’t need to know anything about this. Don’t mess with my people…I have always been that way.

Speaking of the evil former mother in law….the latest false memory she told the kids on Christmas was……drum roll please…..”Your mother looked at me and said “I would like a pair of Mickey Mouse earrings for Christmas, good luck finding them.” So we found them and when she opened them she cried.” Really? Why am I still a topic of conversation? I asked the girl, “does that sound like something I would say and with a snotty attitude?” “No” she admitted. “Have I ever cried when receiving a present from anyone?” She shook her head to indicate a no. “Do the math…that woman is crazy!” I cry while reading a book or watching a movie….sometimes even during a commercial but I do not cry when I receive presents…she does. I left that family fifteen years ago….let it go. Geez!  I didn’t bad mouth that woman for the longest time, not  until the kids figured it out for themselves. Thank goodness I don’t have to hold that in anymore.

It’s been a pretty eventful 24 hours, even with the napping. Now I am off to pour over those cookbooks……Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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