When I started this blog six years ago I was 130 pounds wishing I was 120. Then I quit smoking and have been stuck at 150 pounds ever since. The most I have ever been able to shave off of that 150 was 5 pounds.
I had to buy clothes when I gained the weight and then refused to buy more. I have been refusing to buy clothes for a really long time now. I used to have a closet full of clothes, now I have a bunch of empty hangers. Last week I snapped! I text PT and said “I’m ready to go to that store you are always raving about.” Today was that day.
At first I was worried because things were fitting me wonky like they usually do. Then I tried on the jeans and they felt good. They felt so good that I could ignore that they were a size 12. I felt a little better. Then PT found the world’s most perfect pants. They were comfortable, slimming, and looked so good I couldn’t believe it. I know you are thinking okay…it’s a pair of pants..so what? I seriously almost broke down in the dressing room. I haven’t worn something that fit me so well and didn’t make me feel like a frumpy old woman in so long, it was kind of overwhelming. They were super affordable too, only $19.99.
The petites made a difference too. I must have shrunk because petites used to be too short. I will wear the heck out of these pants! They just came in to the store so I am hoping they get other colors in, a brown and a gray would be nice. The store is more than an hour away so I will check out the website from time to time to see if other colors turn up. PT made the find of a lifetime…for me anyway, with these pants. They had a tan/khaki color also and PT bought them for me as an early birthday present.
I took $100.00 out of my savings for this trip and with tax it was $103.75. I’d say I did good sticking to the budget. This store is worth the drive. Will it help me love my body more? Probably not…Most of my adult years I fluctuated between 112 and 117 and I didn’t like my body that much more then either. I guess this is one of those things that I am going to have to suck it up and deal with….I don’t know if I can do it?
Since I broke the ice and bought a few things, it might make it easier to buy a few more. It’s clearance time and I could used a couple pair of shorts, nothing fancy. Maybe two cotton pair for around the house or a quick trip to the grocery store and one nice denim pair. I think I can manage that.
I’m not saying this will solve my body image issues or that I am giving up on losing weight. I am saying that I am going to try a little harder to stop being so mean to myself everyday….Zia