This afternoon KB and I went to a Shaman workshop. I would say it was more of a journeying workshop but you get the idea. The facilitator had us do two journeys, the first one was to our sacred garden. This bothered me quite a bit…
Mountain Woman and I went on a road trip to take a Sacred Garden Shaman workshop that lasted all day and cost $75.00. Today she gave all of the newbies fifteen minutes to meet their power animal and build their gardens. ….what? Whatever. My power animal is still a unicorn and my garden looked pretty much the same, until the second journey. It was a lot brighter….
Isis was there, in all of her glory. It has been too long since I have felt love, that was the message. She held me and I cried. I have never cried on a journey before…it was unsettling. It all comes back to me….
I am so comfortable with who I am inside but it’s the outside that gives me problems. I have said it before….even when I was skinny, I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. Now that I can’t shake these twenty pounds, it’s much worse.
This problem of mine has been super strong the last couple of weeks. Probably because of all the retrogrades and eclipses. I’m not sure why I have to face this now but let’s do this and get it done. If this is what I have to do to move on to the next stage of growth ….bring it! I have screamed and been depressed, today I cried….I am ready to move on. I’m gonna like myself even if it kills me!
KB has such a better grasp on this. She said to me tonight “I know I’m beautiful, but I’m even more beautiful when I am skinnier. Nothing has worked yet but that won’t keep me from trying.” Like the girl said…KB has a much better outlook on weight issues. She had an easier time journeying for the first time as well. Her power animal is a wolf, which makes sense because wolf means teacher and she is a teacher. My power animal is still a unicorn. I have no idea what that means but I love that I am connected to the unicorn.
It was my first time to an event at the old school and I liked it. The energy was nice and so were all of the people. The girl who owns the space is pretty awesome and we have the same first name which is rare. She does past life regressions and I think I am interested. The only past life I have caught a glimpse of is the druid one. The memory brought such a feeling of belonging…not like this life. I have the best friends but we don’t get together as a group….my tribe…sisterhood….I feel like this is what I need in my life right now…..Zia