I’ve Been Should On…..

I’ve been should on…..I’ve been trying to find the right way to say this since last month and it hasn’t been easy. This is one of those things that came out of the eclipse season that I really needed to think on and make some decisions.

Why do I make things? I can’t answer that, it’s kind of like asking me why my eyes are brown? I am a maker and as long as I am creating what I want to create I am happy.

I make things because I love to make things. I give away things I make because I like to share with people that I care about. This is the way I have always been. Do I sometimes give away too much? Absolutely I do! Where does the should on come in?

Well….when enough people tell you that you should sell what you make eventually you listen. Am I sorry that I made a little side business for myself? No, not at all. Did I really need a vendors license for the amount that I sell? No, I surely did not. Somebody should on me for that useless piece of paper and the headache that goes with it twice a year.

Do you remember when I said that I signed up to do an event that was out of my comfort zone? I checked my email for the date that I backed out of it and it was August 19th. I don’t know what made me back out of it but I am so glad that I did. The majority of my stuff, 90% at least is paper and it has done nothing but rain today and tomorrow will be worse. Way back in August I didn’t know what the weather would be like, I just knew I wasn’t doing that show. I will do the history center and maybe two pop ups at my coffee place and then I will decide if I want to continue. This is also part of the use it or lose resolution I made this year. I moved a bunch of supplies to make these projects and I will use them up. Restocking probably won’t happen. Only time will tell…

I have always been a dreamer…in more ways than one. My dreams were pretty intense when I started my private Facebook group dedicated to the dream world. I swear almost immediately after creating that group my dreams stopped. My dreams have picked up since then but I haven’t been a good admin to the group. Mountain Woman called me out on it last night and she’s right…I need to own it. I should on myself in this case because I started this group because of my crazy dreams. It’s not about me, it’s about creating a safe place for people to post their dreams and get some insight from like minded individuals.

Last night I had a weird dream…aren’t they all? I was in my little Italian store and they were getting ready to close. The lady behind the counter offered me a sample of their new fresh baked bread and it was out of this world amazing. There were some men in uniform on the other side and one of them came up to me. He had dark hair and blue eyes and he had a scar or mark along his hairline. I couldn’t decide if he lost a bet or was on a dare? We talked…he touched my cheek…and I said “I’ve got to go, the store is closing.” I talked to another cashier for a bit before I left. It was very strange and it felt very real.

Today I drove out to SB’s side of town and we did some thrifting. I found a couple things but today was more about hanging out than it was shopping. My favorite deal from Goodwill was this planter for $2.25. I liked it because it had feet. We ran into Marc’s later and I found this Z plant to go in it. I need more plants and SB insists that this one is hard to kill.  The plant was $7.50 which I thought was a good deal.

I haven’t been this way in a long time and we drove by one of my favorite houses. I thought someone had purchased it but it still looks abandoned to me…

We also stopped at a store I have never heard of, something about labels or brands? They get name brand clothes and black out the labels or punch holes in them and offer them at a discount. I bought a sweatshirt that doesn’t look like a bum to wear with yoga pants for $11.99 and a comfy hoodie in the men’s department for $7.99. I will be wearing that hoodie tomorrow for sure.

Weather and basement pending I will be heading to PT’s for breakfast and then home to make some soup and play in the kitchen. We are supposed to get six inches of rain between now and Monday and my fingers are crossed that the basement doesn’t flood again. I am almost done with laundry, I don’t want to add to the water flow in any direction tomorrow.

I am a little sad that I am missing the masquerade ball tonight, I think it would have been fun. In my head a masquerade ball involves formal dresses and men in tuxes and that isn’t what tonight would have been. I still think it would have been fun though. I’m just lucky that I backed out when I did and received a refund…whew!

I haven’t had the kids most of the week and haven’t listened to the radio since I picked the girl up from the university on Wednesday and yet this song popped into my head on Friday…..


Where do you wanna go….how much you wanna risk? Those were the words that repeated themselves all afternoon. I couldn’t even have told you the name of the song or the artist until I googled part of the lyrics. I’ve heard it before but I never paid attention to the lyrics until Friday. Messages come in the weirdest places, just be open to receive them…..Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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