Fighting Something

Most days I do okay blocking things out…okay maybe mediocre is a truer statement. Yesterday I struggled and of course didn’t even realize it until I got home. Once I was home I thought about it for a while and then I sent M a text. She didn’t answer me until this morning.

Which worked out because by the time I battled back door spiders (yes they’re back…ugh) and took a shower…I was ready for bed. I usually go to bed around 10:30-11:00. Last night I was in bed by 9:00 and I slept straight through until 5:30am. Yep I am definitely fighting something to sleep like that and let other peoples emotions in on the same day.

 

I feel bad for M. I know what it’s like to have to go to a job and cry every day. I remember crying on the phone while talking to accounts at the lab…it was a nightmare. It was awful but I wasn’t really bullied…maybe a little bit in the beginning? I was only crying because I was working in a toxic/ Dante’s fifth circle of hell kind of environment. M is being bullied more by Force of Nature Girl than Big K. Big K is not happy with her so things may seem more harsh. Nobody should have to go to work everyday and be brought to tears while they are there. I have been there and done that and it’s just as hard to watch someone else suffer through a similar experience.

This brought all kinds of old icky feelings up about the lab so when Mr I’m All That called The Optician to say that they can’t drill 1.67 material…I call bullshit! A real lab can drill 1.67. I worked in both labs and after the merger all we were left with was an imposter/liar/ sorry excuse for an optical lab. It makes me sick that The Optician won’t look elsewhere for a better lab.

The Optician apprenticeship thing….I totally changed my mind. Feel free to train me to be your back up. Basically I mean…keep me in the habit of occasionally taking seg heights and PD’s. The rest of it I’ve got. I still do all of her insurance billing…I’m the one reminding her of lens availability.  Doing her billing is sometimes inconvenient. Especially when I am trying to reconcile the contact lens statement. Now that I have been keeping track of each doctor’s productivity…that adds another step. All of the invoices are accounted for and productivity is added up, now I just have to double check the billing of every contact lens order for the month. That’s where my mind was when I got the flustered Henny Penny “I need this billed” dropped on my desk as she scurried off back to optical. It’s overly frustrating sometimes.

Wow! I guess I really am frustrated. I don’t usually go on and on about work like this? It’s been a lot the last couple of days with the drama and all the feels…and the not feeling 100%. Thankfully tomorrow is a half day. I heard there is a new incense in town…I may just have to fight the University traffic tomorrow and buy 2….Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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