Be Still…

Every once in a while, I wish I could be a little more like the people who binge watch tv. There have been a few exceptions to this but for the most part…I can’t. I “feel” like I should be doing something else. Since I have more days off than I work these days, I thought it would be a good opportunity to learn some things. I have signed up for a meditation challenge, a warrior goddess workshop, a medicine tea tutorial, and a herbal course. Oh…and I found a Facebook group that will be reading Women Who Runs With the Wolves a chapter at a time with Sunday discussions. I have tried to read it myself but it’s a hard read. Only having to read one chapter at a time followed by a discussion is perfect for me! Busy, busy, busy…it may be a struggle but I think I need to make time to just “be”.

Speaking of book discussions, we are going to try and Skype book club. I have never done this before so fingers crossed…it’s not too hard? This month we read The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto. It was a good read, I was emotionally attached to more than one character and was genuinely surprised at the twists. It’s not my usual kind of book but I really liked it. If you are looking for a good read while in quarantine this one is a good pick.

I had some crazy dreams last night. The part that stuck out the most? It was the dream where I was looking out the window and there were men to my left and deer to my right. Straight ahead of me was a beautiful hawk with what looked like morning sun shining directly onto him.  I even said “I wish I had my camera.” Then I noticed that the men were trying to lure the deer with meat? I shouted “Stop! No! Don’t trust them!” The deer didn’t hear me and the men captured them and ripped their antlers out with their bare hands. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. The same way I do when I hear a conspiracy theory about forced vaccinations, 5G, etc. I keep telling the girls at work “divide and conquer” is one of the oldest tricks in the books. When I looked up deer antlers.. they are a symbol to the connection to the divine. That only makes it more disturbing…

I made a conscious effort this morning after I woke up that I would only deal in the positive and magical today. First thing, I lit a special candle and said “this day is going to be magical!”  Within minutes my favorite incense maker sent me a text saying that she had a new jar of incense for me and a new candle, both created and charged during yesterday’s full moon. I was in and the Girl was up for a ride. She never gets out of the car…she just wanted out of the house for a bit. I opened the door and this was on the metal threshold…

Two tiny acorn tops. It was left at the door the way a cat leaves a decapitated mouse as a gift.  I chalked that one up to nature spirits which falls under magical and we were on our way. I enjoyed our three minute chat while I drove up to her store and she brought out my purchases. I miss our longer chats and being able to browse in the store. The new incense is amazing and the candle….smells like the plants of Spring. I will probably wait until the weekend to burn the candle…the incense has already been burned more than once.

One of the days this week…time means nothing anymore….I was meditating outside. The sun was warm, but the ground was damp and I felt called to sit on the earth to mediate. It was my most powerful mediation during this challenge. I felt like I might burst into flames sitting there and then I heard a voice say “I am love, I am the flame.” That had to be last Thursday because I worked Friday. I came up with an idea to make something so my butt doesn’t get wet and I can still connect to the earth. Saturday I drove out to the farm where I buy my meat and stopped at a hardware store out that way. I picked up a canvas drop cloth because I had an idea….

I struggle with sewing a straight line and I have only used my serger twice before so I gave it my best shot. I serged two pieces of canvas together in an almost circle…which is harder than sewing a straight line. The needle lost it’s thread a couple of times but I managed to finish it without major incident. Today, I made some designs and painted them on. So the next time I want to sit on the ground and meditate, I can hopefully still be connected without getting wet.

You can see the big sewing mishap at the top and now it is accentuated by a spacing mishap. I made it for me and that part will be behind me when I sit so I guess it doesn’t matter. Originally I was going to paint everything in but I stopped after the outline…I like it just like this. The only thing that would have made this project more fulfilling is if I bought the canvas from a seasoned painter and it had years of  paint splatters on it….but that’s just me. I also had enough canvas left to make a nap cloth and a drop cloth for a small project.  Not bad for $22.00.

That is the recap of what is happening on this side of the world. I did have a little breakdown Monday…a side effect of one of those conspiracy theories. I bounced back, even if it was a struggle. My advice? Hug someone if you can, take some Zinc, and shine as bright as you can….Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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