The Gray Reality

It’s been seventeen months since any color has touched my hair. I really liked the henna/indigo blend I was using but my hair was too gray and it made my hair too blue. That was the reason I said “enough, was enough.”

If we are going to be completely honest….I like the color of my hair. I know it’s strange but I do. I had a patient the other day tell me how much she liked my hair color, she even called it “striking.” She is in the beginning phases of growing out….I used to do the same thing in the beginning…so I get it….hair goals.

I do have my days when I don’t get enough sleep or I eat a food that I have a reaction to…which makes my hair stand out more in my head. I am my own worst enemy.  Other days I think “you are going to be 50 this year..what are you thinking?!” Sure I could go out and get my hair colored tomorrow and look ten years younger….but I won’t. I’m not doing the grow out again. It’s kind of the same thing with the quitting smoking…it was too hard to quit, that’s why I don’t cheat.

Speaking of smoking….I had a dream the other night  where I was smoking a cigarette and damn it was good! It was hard to quit, I was moody and a little crazy…I don’t want to do that again. Almost eight years later and I still dream about smoking, the want doesn’t go away. It was so random?

I had to drop a frame off at the lab today, I even took the tiny narcissist with me. I can’t believe how different it looked. When that merger happened some unethical petty things happened as well. I had nothing to do with the change in labs…the work itself did that, but I will do, all that I can do to make sure we never go back…especially after what I saw today. I can’t believe how different it was. That oui oui company really doesn’t know what is what, and I can’t believe they are allowed to be a monopoly?”  Although, they can make a great lens damn it…

I have three progressive lenses from three different labs. The distance is great on all three but the intermediate and the reading is a struggle. My modified monovision with my contacts is starting to fail so I think I might have to switch to glasses full time. On the one hand…the glasses make me look less washed out…on the other, other hand…I will be wearing glasses most of the time. It’s a conundrum. Transitions versus having a second pair of sunglasses? It’s a lot to process. I’m about to try a oui oui lens, so I guess we will see.

The other part about visiting the old lab was my gray hair. Most days I don’t think about it at all, but when you see old coworkers from 6+ years ago……I felt like I had to explain myself.  My problem…I know. I have conflicting emotions….I love my hair color but occasionally I find myself in a situation that makes me question myself. I can question all day long but I won’t do the grow out again so the gray is here to stay.

It was a strange day today and the new moon is tomorrow…it should only get more strange fro here…Zia



About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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2 Responses to The Gray Reality

  1. Good for you — I did the same thing when I turned 50 — and I never looked back! I never got a compliment when my hair was dark — but I’ll bet a week doesn’t go by without someone saying something nice about my hair — I hope you continue to have the same experience!

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