Back It Up Buttercup….

Where do I begin? I woke up this morning…knowing that the big doctor wasn’t there…I made sure it was okay and then went and had my blood work done. For once my doctor played along and agreed to have my blood work done before my appointment. I am so tired of having everyone tell me “you have to go to a functional medicine doctor, they will figure it out.” They are also not covered by insurance which makes no sense to me. So I will try this out this year…blood work then appointment.

It wasn’t too bad, there were no other patients there when I was there. I even got out of there before eight. I did not have any coffee this morning so I stopped at my favorite coffee shop and grabbed a coffee before I headed off to work. I even stopped and dropped off the recycling on my way and still made it to work by 8:10am.

Will it make a difference? I don’t know. I do know I won’t be poked and prodded this year. Last year was enough for me.  I asked for the Lyme test again as well as a ANA test, I have no idea what other tests she ordered? I guess I will find out in two weeks.

One of the first patients of the morning was a strange encounter. I have worked at this office for 5+ years and for at least 4 of these years…I thought this patient killed and buried his wife in his back yard. Everyone else thought I was crazy. It took until last year for me to think…maybe…just maybe I was over exaggerating.  He isn’t quite as hyper and he is still attractive BUT this year….he came to pick up his glasses and had his phone on speaker the whole time???? He kept saying “his new partner was on the phone”??? What the heck???

I pretended to ignore it but it was uncomfortable. I chose to ignore his actual phone and never even glanced down at it. Another thing that I felt was odd was that he kept saying “I’m so busy, I have no time.” Is this because it took him three months to pick up his glasses? I expect nothing less from a day that starts with a young stag running in front of my car…

I have had plenty of dreams about men lately…and between that and the information that I learned tonight…I’m not missing anything.

I had an old friend stop over tonight…old as in freshman year of high school. This is the friend whose ex husband molested two of her daughters and is currently in jail. She told me tonight how she was raped while we were still in high school??? What the???? Was I so absorbed in my high school boyfriend that I missed the signs? How did I not know this??? She made a lot of statements…some… I called her out on tonight… “why didn’t you talk to me?” To this day she is still making excuses for him…while trying to be an advocate for sexually assaulted girls. I have faith that she will figure it out but her bumpy road is nowhere near over….

She is another one who says “I wish I could be more like you” All I want to say is “Be more like you!!!” I have been alone for almost nine years and the dreams of late are keeping me on my toes…Love will take me…kicking and screaming, this time….but it will take me….Zia




About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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