The Fool, the Mess, and the Big One

This was weekend two of a huge hot mess! This was a different mess but it was a mess nonetheless. I came home from work on Friday to a huge tree in my living room. I told the Girl that it couldn’t stay and she agreed, although it was for different reasons. This tree belonged to their father and it came with a remote control to change the color of the lights….which was not working. It was too big for the space so it was going regardless. I helped her take that tree down and put up our regular tree. Our regular tree had a section of lights out near the top. The Girl who is the cool, calm, and collective one…. was losing her shit.

I had her disconnect the top and I strung regular lights on the top of the tree. We can notice that it is a bit brighter but I don’t think anyone else would. It took us four hours to get the tree up, search for a bad bulb, give up and string new lights, and put the garland on. It was crazy!

On Saturday we stopped at Home Depot and looked at their trees. They have some pretty magical trees with tiny fairy lights that I loved but if this weekend has taught me anything….it was that I will never buy a pre-lit tree. There was a nice seven footer with no lights that will hopefully be around when the trees go on clearance.

I purged quite a bit of the old decorations and have the new bins ready to separate our ornaments when we take down the tree. I am starting to have quite the collection of empty totes in the basement, I guess that shows progress.

I have been pulling a tarot card every morning since August. I thought it was fitting to pull this card on Saturday morning.

This is from my favorite Shapeshifter tarot, the traditional card is The Fool. How strange is it that Big K dropped off a bottle of birthday wine (Prophecy) that had the image of The Fool card on the label? It was a crazy coincidence! I can’t think of a better card to symbolize my fiftieth birthday. Potential, possibilities, new beginnings sound great to me!

My work peeps had some fun on Friday. I had the “old fart” sash that I had to wear as well as a necklace with “I’m old” symbols. They decorated too….

I’m not scared of fifty so I let them have their fun. Saturday the Girl and I did out best to finish up the tree and to put out the rest of the decorations. I received lots of texts and quite a few phone calls, add that to the usual running around…it made it difficult to focus on the task at hand.

I have a small box to sell, a bigger bag for Goodwill, an empty broken tote for the trash, and a tree box to recycle. Once that stuff is out of here it will feel better. I still have to tackle the desk from the bedroom deconstruct last week. I guess it’s a good thing I’m on vacation next week…..not that I can ho anywhere…again. (insert huge eye roll) At least I don’t have to go to work and hopefully I can get some Christmas crafting done. Maybe I’ll even tackle the basement? Use it or lose it is real this year!!

I had another wild dream this morning. I was in the car with a couple of people, I only remember my cousin M. She asked me which way to turn and I said “if you turn right we can go to the cemetery.” She declined which would never have happened in the waking world. We went left and I noticed a unique bridge between buildings and I had her pull over. She opted to wait in the car, which again….would have never happened.

I walked down the side walk and could see the bridge but I couldn’t find my way to it. I noticed a gated entrance with a small gap on the bottom. It was big enough for a small black child in a blue jacket to slip under so I followed suit. Only he came out and I was going in. I came into this big room where it sounded like a priest was talking, I didn’t see anyone so maybe it was a recording? I noticed a small primitive collection of woman’s heads on the floor. They were on a display of some sort. Instead of my camera I had a laptop looking thing that I placed on the floor to take the picture. I looked around the room and there were different statues on display on many floors. On the floor above where I was the was a statue of Jesus talking to a group of people. In my head I said “mmm, the original Ted Talk.”  I don’t remember much more than that but it is up there with my strange ones.

I watched Social Dilemma on Netflix this morning. talk about disturbing! I won’t give any spoilers but I will say…that until we stand up and say “no more!” things will continue to get worse.

Which brings me back to the same old conversation I have been having with myself for years….can I go off the grid, can I really do it?” I’m first generation running water so I’m pretty sure I have it in me. If it is possible, I’m not sure Ohio is where I would want to give it a go? I’m all about Homesteading but to do it alone? That….I’m not sure I have in me. Lots to think about I guess.

I work in the Southern office tomorrow which should be calmer than what I am used to on a Monday. We are short in the back so Big K had to do some shuffling around. I don’t mind the change up but I was hoping to catch up on some paperwork before my vacation next week. In the end it will all work out, it always does….Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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2 Responses to The Fool, the Mess, and the Big One

  1. Happy belated birthday. Wishing you the best a great Thanksgiving

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