Beyond Bothered

I talked to my aunt last night and it was a long one…almost three hours. I didn’t have any specific questions but we did talk a lot about food. All aspects of food really, growing, preserving, cooking, as well as recipes. It wasn’t until we started talking about family members that it got disturbing.

My cousin…the one who I unfriended on Facebook (when I had a real Facebook) after she discarded the sweet boy that she had been kicking around since high school. I think they had five or six kids together. Anyway…since then, she had a couple new kids with her new husband. They are currently separated.  My aunt told me that she went on Facebook and was horrified at what she saw. Apparently my cousin had a miscarriage. It was early on and if you have a weak stomach please stop reading now.

She posted pictures of a blood clot in the center of a white cloth. There was a ceremony of sorts. She held the blood clot and said some words. Every one of her kids held the blood clot while crying. Not only did she name the blood clot, she had people come over to release balloons and even ordered a tiny head stone. My aunt is concerned for her mental state.

I get it…everyone mourns in different ways. But seriously…she was pregnant for half a second. She’s not supposed to be having babies anyway. Of course she was told this after the first couple and she kept having babies, ignoring the doctor’s advice.  She’s an RN so she knows better, but you can’t tell her anything.

This led to a discussion about her mother, my other aunt…the one who changed my grandmother’s will. This aunt has four children and only treats one of them well and worse than that…she only treats that child’s children well. Did that sentence even make sense? Her youngest daughter (a cousin to me) is only two weeks older than The Girl. The youngest daughter had a baby at 14 or 15 which makes him about 8 or 9 now. My other aunt treats him horribly. She calls him names and tells him things like “you creepy little shit, you’re going to grow up and be a serial killer.” WTF? If my mother was alive she would put her baby sister in her place like no one else could.

This brought up a painful memory for my aunt. She told me that when she first brought my uncle home that my grandmother took a picture of my mother off of the table and said “this is a picture of my prettiest daughter.” My future uncle said “no ma’am I am marrying your prettiest daughter.” Good answer! Why would my grandmother do this to my aunt? My mom was long gone and in Ohio by then with at least two, maybe three kids. I’m not sure if they were married before my youngest brother was born? The words that haunt me the most were when my aunt said “I wish I knew why mom never loved me.”

It made me want to get in my car and drive seven hours just to give her a hug. If it wasn’t for the whole long distance driving thing, I might have just done that. Why would my grandmother do this to my aunt? I never saw this side of my grandmother so I was stunned. Both stories were a lot to take in.

Now my story about my neighbor and her friend telling me where there were wild violets seems less exciting. I picked them and made two batches of jelly and a simple syrup. The first batch of jelly didn’t set, the second one did and the simple syrup was a fail too. It was too sweet and I used honey instead of sugar which changed the color, so it wasn’t even pretty. I wasn’t too upset about the time I spent picking the violets that were a fail, but the twelve canning lids that were wasted…that hurt. It’s been a year, you would think that canning lids would be back by now.

It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? All of it stayed with me through today….Zia

About dragonflyzia

I am just a woman finally accepting that I was never meant to be in the box. I don't fit into any stereotypes, please don't try and label me, that doesn't work either. I am embracing my uniqueness in ways that are new and challenging to me, so that I may continue to grow and never stop learning.
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