Rip Van Zia

Today is looking good so far….I woke up and stayed up and that’s an improvement over yesterday. I woke up at 4:30am yesterday to the sound of vicious winds howling. I gave up trying to sleep in the bed so I turned on the Christmas tree, grabbed a blanket, and snuggled on the couch with the dog.  Personally….I think I was fighting something off. Maybe I needed to recharge, maybe I was a little depressed? It wasn’t because I was alone….my cigarette smoking ghost/uncle/ancestor was with me all day. It was overwhelming at times but it didn’t keep me awake and I wasn’t alone.

I text my brother on and off through the morning and even did two loads of laundry…that was pretty much all I did. I finally put on Alloy McBeal around 6-ish. I couldn’t get the firestick to work so I had to go old school and get off the couch to physically change each disc. I didn’t watch all of the Christmas episodes, three maybe four. I don’t remember them being so sad? I cried a couple of times in the episode with the unicorn. Not bawling…just enough to need a tissue.

My aunt called me around 10/10:30 last night and I went to bed right after that and I slept until 9 this morning. I can’t even believe how much I slept….I must have needed it…. or this just proves that I am part bear and should be hibernating. 🙂

I had some crazy dreams last night. One had the girl much younger and she was crying while saying “I don’t want to kill you mommy.” That….I think stems from my disgust at the forecast. Single digits are ugly and I’m not sure how I will survive them. The older I get the harder it is for me. I wouldn’t mind Winter so much if it stayed at 25 degrees or warmer. The wind was awful yesterday and I am grateful that I didn’t have to go out in it. In a way I am teasing her when I say “the next four Winters are on you” and in a way I am not…

There was the dream about my mom coming back, only this time she died again and the jerk that lived with her said she was so sad that I never came to see her. That wasn’t my mother, my mother is dead is what I  told him.  I used to have dreams about my mother coming back all the time after she died and this one almost feels like a continuation of another dream. One that I can’t remember. I don’t know what it means.

There were other dreams and I wish that I wrote them down when I woke up but I didn’t and those are the two that stick out.

I thought a lot about my goals and resolutions for the new year yesterday. I have my list started but that is a post for either New Year’s Eve or Day. I’m not sure how New Year’s Eve will go. I have plans with PT at the vault restaurant early and then BTS is going to be on one of the shows that night. The girl is already super excited. It’s going to be stupid cold that day too…..2 degrees is the low. I don’t want to be that person that whines all winter, it’s just that it seems extra hard this year. I don’t know why? I have to go to the laundromat to dry towels today so I guess I’m just going to have to suck it up and face the cold.

I mentally prepared myself for a trip to JoAnn Fabrics today. I am not big on the day after Christmas sale but I thought why not? Then I saw the ad,their Christmas is only 75% off….it was 70% off right before Christmas. That’s not enough of an incentive for me to fight traffic and crowds.  Tomorrow is half day Wednesday and the perfect way to ease back into the work week after a four day weekend….I could always stop tomorrow if I change my mind.  Mostly I am hoping that my Scottish cookbooks came in at the library so I can go grocery shopping. That little resolution might not wait until the new year…..Zia

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Done and Over…..

I’m sure that it makes me sound like a Scrooge but whew! I’m glad it’s over! I know that I have said before that it’s not the same without my mom, and… well this year was worse….my little brother didn’t come home. Every single one of his reasons was valid but for me, it was lonely.

The older my nephews get, the more apparent it is that they are spoiled. Do you remember how upset I was after the birthday party last year and how my nephew almost got a fruit basket for Christmas?  Well….I mellowed and gave him a real present. Only to find out later that he told my father’s wife that she was stupid and useless!!!!!! Why does he still have teeth?????  The girl was mad at her brother for telling me…I have a history of going off the deep end over things they aren’t supposed to tell me. I promised I wouldn’t and I won’t…..but this is ridiculous!

I went into tonight a little sad that I was missing a brother but still excited for the holiday.

I left with a feeling of fleeting…..partly because of the snow and I wasn’t driving but the boy did a good job. The main roads were clear, the only tricky road was the hilly road with all of the bends by the river right by my brothers. Everything just felt wrong this year. I don’t know why…it just did.

Amazon messed up my order so the originally planned family history project was out the window. I made ornaments and magnets this year, this is a picture of the ornaments.

I still want to make what was in my  head so the family history project for next year will be done before Mother’s day for sure. I happened to come across another picture while I was gathering pictures to take to office max. I made a magnet for myself and both of my brothers. The brother tonight….I didn’t mention it to, I had the girl stealthily place it on their refrigerator. My absent brother knows that I will mail it to him soon. It’s just another mysterious thing to pop up that is nudging me towards this branch of my family tree. My grandmother had eleven children, here is a picture of the first five. My mother is the little girl in the front with the big haunting eyes. I don’t think that there is a picture of her before this moment. If there is, I have never seen it.

Speaking of the Scottish side….my kids did good this year and got me this….

This will come in handy with the Scottish cooking that I am planning to do. I already know that the girl likes bannocks….a lot. I was very excited to get this!

I came across a new word that I am taking to heart…..

Cozy, snug, and warm….what could be better than that?  Merry Christmas my friends….I hope that wherever you are…your heart feels light and loved…..Zia

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All is Calm, All is Bright

Did anyone else wake up extra calm today, or was it just me? One of the techs from the back kept asking me “are you all right today?”  I am/ was fine, I am just going with the flow today. I drove in behind Crude Girl most of the way to work this morning and I didn’t pass her or anything and she noticed it too. When I left for work today the sunrise was a pretty magenta and fluffy pink and I was just enjoying the view.

Speaking of Crude Girl….she was very surprised, grateful and happy that I got some of her stuff back for her. This guy right here….he was the most important.

Crude Girl’s mom painted him a long time ago and she even went the extra mile and glued a fake eyelash on his closed eye. He’s adorable! The jerk ex-boyfriend told her eight long years ago that his kids broke the Santa. Bastard!  Whatever…I played the part. I let him hug me as he said “hey, how have you been?” I regretted that choice later because my scarf smell like over priced men’s cologne…ugh!  The funniest part…..I called Crude Girl from the stop sign on the ex boyfriend’s street and one minute and forty seven seconds later…I pulled into her apartment parking lot. The hardest part of this whole mission was surviving the stay there. The cigarette smoke smell was overwhelming, I did it though. She has that part of her mom back as well as the cookbooks and notebooks that belonged to her mom. I have no idea why I did it but I am glad I did.

My little brother called me last night and we were talking about my New Year’s resolutions and genealogy and the next thing I know he says “get a passport, we are going to Scotland!” Shouldn’t we start in Kentucky? That was my rebuttal and it was futile. I am really hoping to finally get my 2014 taxes back from the IRS and it’s needed to close my bankruptcy. This could fund my trip….this is such crazy talk, I guess I had better get busy. Did I mention that I never go anywhere?

Speaking of resolutions….I did go online to the library and request some cookbooks. I think two of them were available and the other five I had to special order through search Ohio. Come January first I will start my Scottish food journey. Hopefully I will get them all before the first.

We had Chinese for lunch at work today and this was my fortune….

Relax and enjoy myself…I can handle that fortune. The nurse next to me who grabbed a cookie at the same time got “sorry wrong cookie” as her fortune, weirdest fortune ever.

I did take time to relax today. I went to a Solstice sound bath complete with a Shaman drumming along.

You know how I love a sound bath and with their new chairs, the experience was taken to a whole new level. The vibrations get much higher when you aren’t on the floor on a yoga mat. The guy to my left snored loudly and I think the girl to my right was the one who tooted? I was asleep and the smell woke me up, I don’t know who it was but that was a first for me. I was so relaxed after, I could have used a designated driver. I should sleep more like a rock than usual….Zia

PS: Welcome back light! With every second of light that is gained, I feel lighter, brighter and happier.

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Not My Business

Did you ever make something your business in order to help someone? Did I mention that person doesn’t even know? Why do I do these things? Because I am half my mother….that’s why!

Whenever I have a pity party for myself about losing my mom it’s usually a valid reason. I was almost 31 when my mom died at 51. Most of you know that I never really recovered from that. Crude Girl has a story that is much worse. She didn’t know her mom was sick and her mom collapsed on their kitchen floor. It was right before….or right after her high school graduation.

We first started working together when I was hired at the lab. We have had our ups and downs….there were a lot of downs. We weren’t even that close when she broke up with her long time boyfriend. It was a bad break up, he wasn’t nice and his friends were worse. They called her names like “horse face” on Facebook. Nobody deserves that. It was really hard to watch. Then she started sleeping with the boss. He totally preyed on her vulnerability and she enjoyed the gifts. It was also hard to watch and then she was under attack from her spoiled best friend the bosses daughter. The whole thing was ugly and I think you get the idea.

Sometime this year her ex boyfriend…the crushing one, sent her a text that he came across her mom’s cookbooks and wanted her to have them. I know she wants them but she hasn’t made a move towards getting them. I have offered to go get them for her and to go with her, she always says no she will get them. Last week he passed her on the road and sent her a text about getting her stuff on Wednesday. He never text her and she seemed relieved. That’s when I decided to Facebook message him. He’s such a little fucker…excuse my French. He doesn’t get it and he wants to pretend that he has some power and has been a jerk about the time. The last text has me going to his  house around 9 tonight. I’m not worried about my safety and neither should you…we may not be friends but we have plenty of mutual friends.  Plus I will be carrying, I am not a complete idiot. By that time the girl should be home so I won’t be alone. Come hell or high water, she will have that piece of her mother back this week!

Thank goodness that Mercury in Retrograde is almost over, all of these “feels” are overwhelming. I think it’s making some people kind of mean.  I almost died four times last night just on my way home. People are crazy! Today we had a patient who has acute something…Iritis I think? Anyway…he is always there. He was talking to Force of Nature Girl about how he hates people and then it got racial. He said things like “they shouldn’t even get to go to the doctors, the dirty animals should have to go to the vet.”  I couldn’t even believe it and I turned to Negative Nancy and said “I think they are bonding over hate?” He heard me say it and I didn’t even care and when he left I said “Merry Christmas.”  Fifteen minutes later he came back with these…..

I’ve never been offered guilt donuts before?

From one extreme….the next thing I know one of the techs from the back is up talking to Negative Nancy about a dog. Then she goes all mushy saying how much she loves dogs and would take them all. I am missing this gene. I like dogs and cats, some more than others but I have no desire to surround myself with them. I am at the point in my life where I don’t want another single thing to depend on me. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have an animal of my own but let’s be real…any animal that comes into this house will belong to the girl. I always tell both the boy and the girl that when they leave, they each get an animal. I don’t understand the bond…. When I was little  I would bring home every stray that I found and my dad always freaked out and we were never allowed to have a pet. The beagle was the perfect dog until we moved. Anything that I have to repeatedly clean up after will lose it’s appeal. She is better now that we figured out that she needs two pee pads down at all times. She rarely uses both but demands them anyway. I am still in the beginning stages of an Animal Reiki course, maybe that will help?

We did our gift exchange at work and this is what Negative Nancy made me….

I knew what it was the minute I opened it…..a foot stool to go with my Beauty and the Beast chair. It even looks animated! I’m sure the cat will claim it within twenty four hours….it’s still a really good gift. I received some wine glasses and an Outlander calendar and other miscellaneous goodies. It was a fun exchange with a $10.00 price limit.

It’s too late and too dark to work on the projects that still need done. I have the family history project bouncing all over the country thanks to a shipping error. Hopefully it comes tomorrow because I still have to transform it into something. Thankfully I still have all day Saturday….Zia


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Whew! What a week!  Update on my nose reaction……I was talking to our MD on Thursday after the surgery day was over and he says no to allergic reaction and yes to a bite. A spider or a mite? Me…get bit by a spider….that’s so overdone. Now I don’t want anyone to fall out of their chairs or anything but I am going to post a picture of the after rash which involves my face and no makeup…..gasp!

That little patch is dry and other than that I have no symptoms. I feel like I lost a few days of prep time this week between the attack on my face and the no longer suffering from PMS…I was pretty tired. Speaking of my moodiness…..the optician at work decided it would be fun to play a practical joke on me…..remember that sorry excuse for a cake?  I found this in my car on Thursday after work…..

My car smelled horrible and she found an extra gross pair of glasses with green nose pads…loaded with face cheese. Yuck, yuck, yuck….so gross. Ha ha, I still say it was a gross, lousy cake.

Friday I should have been getting ready for my party but I was dragging my feet. Then I started looking for SB’s Christmas present. Panic ensued….I just saw it!!! It gave me the motivation that I needed to clean as I was searching. Funny thing? SB was doing the same thing! She bought me a little frame and could not find the 16 year old picture of us and she just saw it! Ironically….I just purged some collage frames and took that picture out of it. The picture is a 6×4 and the frame is a 4×6 so I have to take it to office max and have it made a little bigger.

SB came a little early on Saturday so we could exchange our presents before the Hogmany party. I haven’t seen her since before my birthday so I got lots and lots of goodies. The one that means the most is this one…..

Not only is it a dragonfly but it belonged to SB’s mom…tear jerker. I will treasure it… I don’t know how often I will wear the scarf/shawl that it was attached to? SB is always telling me that I wear too much black. She also knitted me theses pretty and sparkly blue gloves that I love.

I guess the picture is kind of dark but trust me they are a brighter blue. I think that blue may be a new thing with me…my new coat is a different pretty shade of blue and I have been wearing a labradorite ring as well as a blue pietersite ring. Maybe blue is my new thing? Funny….it was my mom’s favorite color.

SB also got me this Oultander bracelet that I have been eyeing for quite some time….

My little buddy was sick and missed our Hogmany/Christmas/Outlander party, I have her goodies set aside. I think everyone did a really good job of sticking with the theme. This is what I made and where the bastard spider was hiding before he attacked my face….

SB crocheted these cool little scarf/shawls like Claire would wear….

ML found these cool little Morse code bracelets….

I took these pictures by the light of the tree, in retrospect…..

ML also made Scottish tablet and a whiskey desert. SB brought a homemade caramel apple moonshine and a cheese plate. I made bannocks again as well as a new cheese type puff thing from the Outlander cookbook and Chestnut tarts from her website. I cheated a little on the chestnut tarts but they were so good.  I used these instead of dough….

When I was searching for chestnuts in a can I came across this… had every ingredient from the recipe.

I warmed them in the oven and topped with whip cream…it was so easy. For the table I found a fresh Fraser (as in Jamie) Fir wreath….

It was nice to get together and I love a theme but I thought the party could have been livelier. I will have to work on that for next year.

Today I have been in the kitchen for most of the day. I made eight dozen dark chocolate brownies with fresh cranberries and dark chocolate chips for the cookie exchange on Wednesday. I think I am going to keep them in the backseat of my car until then. It should be cool enough and they will be safe from the animals in the house.

We decided this year to do half a dozen instead of a whole dozen. There are fourteen people in the exchange and three neighbors on my list…that was most of my day. I also made Diana Gabaldon’s ancestral fudge recipe, no bakes,peanut butter kiss cookies, and rice krispy treats. I wanted to make sugar cookies so the containers for the neighbors would be complete but I ran out of time. I guess I am making a mess again tomorrow.

While I was baking I have been listening to A Breath of Snow and Ashes. This is the book that I never finished and stopped on the Outlander series. I have noticed some important historical facts while listening to it that may help me in my genealogical search next January. Then I got to that part….Claire kidnapped and then raped and Marsali who was almost full term…attacked. I am fairly certain that this is where I stopped reading way back in 2005…it was too much and I couldn’t take it anymore. I am doing my best to get through it this time. I am on disc 13 out of 48….I have miles to go. People always refer to the Native Americans as savages….the real savages were the white men. I have always said that and I hope that I don’t find any when I uncover that part of my family tree.  I always talk to books when I read them and when I am listening to them and when Jamie turned to Fergus and Ian and said “kill them all”, I said “as it should be.” That was such a horrible time to be alive….I guess my ancestors managed because check it out….here I am.

I am most of the way done for the season. I have all of the presents for the doctors in the car as well as my brownies for the exchange. I have the front office presents wrapped and in a bag for Tuesday. I only have sugar cookies left to bake and then I am off to surprise the neighbors.

It sounds like I am ahead but that’s not true. I still have to finish the family history project….my nephews….and my kids aren’t all the way done. I have a week….Zia

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Rosey Nosey

Well….this is something new and I don’t care for it one bit! I was sitting on the couch sewing a dragonfly to a piece of flannel when the top of my nose started itching. Not in a normal way…I can’t even describe the itch. It was so weird that I got up to see if there was something on my nose. There was nothing on my nose but it was twice the normal size. It was throbbing and still growing. What was happening???? I was freaking out! I called the OD from work and she talked me down. I slathered some Tobradex on topically and took two Benadryl. My nose is still a little swollen but at least both nostrils are the same size. I have a pretty good headache at the moment as well. What in the world causes your nose to swell that fast? It’s so strange….plus I took two Benadryl…I could fall asleep any minute now.

My day didn’t start much better so I can say it was at least consistent. Today was the first snow. Nobody wants to drive on the first snow around here. There is always the person who is crawling and the person who is flying and the rest of us who are just trying to make it to work. I didn’t think it was so bad this morning, I even thought to myself “they actually did a good job, must be because it’s the first.”  That was my first mistake. I was driving like normal, no problems and then I had to make a choice. Do I take my normal route or do I go for a state route? I opted for the state route, I thought it would be safer….big mistake. I turned onto the road and it took me a second to find the lane it was so bad. I was coming up to my first red light when I tapped my breaks….this was not good. I could see the ice in the tire tracks. I veered a little to the right and used the snow for traction and was able to stop. The poor truck in the lane next to me was having a heck of a time, thankfully he managed to stay in his own lane. He was struggling pretty good which made it easier for me to get in the left lane. About half a mile later the roads weren’t icy anymore, they weren’t great but I could stop which is always important.

Negative Nancy was five minutes or so behind me and said there was a big accident by the icy spot. Forty five minutes later there were more sirens heading that way. I’m glad the way home was much better only now it is so cold I can barely stand it. Stuck in Ohio…

Once I got to work I saw the cake that one of the nurses made for the retiring doctor.

I was so upset! The girl could have made a better cake and check out those nasty glasses….I’m not eating that.

The girls guilted me into trying it. I took one bite and it was dry and we paid her to make this!!!  I think that is what bothers me the most, we paid her and she didn’t give us the product we paid her to make. We could have went to a real bakery for what we gave her. She brags about her baking skills and how she wants her own business. I wouldn’t hire her to make anything. For all I know it was that one bite that caused my nose to swell. I think the doctor deserved better than this sorry excuse for a cake. Must be the PMS because I was mad for a while over it.

The rest of the day went okay, except for the cold. All I wanted to do was sit on the couch under a blanket with the tree on. Sadly that is what I was doing when the swollen nose monster attacked my face.

Now I am off to shower and then bed. I hope tomorrow is less dangerous…..Zia

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It’s Been So Long……

It gives me anxiety when I am away from here for too long. Is that normal? I stared at the blank screen for quite a while tonight. I’m not even sure where to begin? There was so much and nothing all at the same time. Let’s see what I can remember…..

Monday was a tough day…the first day after vacation always is. I walked into work only to find that the power was out. We couldn’t do much for the patients who were already in the parking lot except take their name and number. We called the whole morning to cancel and then forty five minutes later we had to call them back and tell them to come on in. Can we say Mercury in Retrograde?  It’s a pretty good example if I ever saw one.  I did come home and clean after work. I could only do so much because I still had things to make. I made a small dent and felt a little better.

Tuesday the heat wasn’t working so well and we pretty much shivered all day. I came home and did a few things that I “had” to do and went to heat up in a hot bath. I of course fell asleep like I always do and woke up to cold water. Purpose….defeated. I took a hot shower and then snuggled under a blanket on the couch.

Two days in a row and I didn’t make a thing for my pop up on Saturday. It was almost like the Universe was saying….”stop, there is enough.”

Wednesday the heating guy came and fixed what was broken. It’s our half day and about half way through we could feel some heat. It’s never truly warm at the front desk in the winter with all of those windows and the constant opening and closing of the doors but some heat is better than none. I did a little bit of running around before I went to pick the girl up from school. I turned around and brought her to work and then went back home for a couple of hours. I did manage to get some more trees made that night. That’s pretty much all I did for this pop up. I made about thirteen or so more book page trees and then Thursday I cut off some of the big trees. I don’t think I will make the big trees again, I don’t like them nearly as much as I like the small and medium ones. I did sell a few though…

Wednesday I was talking to our OD at the end of our half day. She had a weird dream over the weekend so she dilated her eyes and had the newer OD take a look. That got us to talking about my eyes again. Do you remember in March-ish when my eyes were acting all funny? My script jumped crazy high and later came back to normal. Ever since that time I have been very aware of my left eye. I am right eye dominant so this is weird for me plus there’s the whole brightness thing first thing in the morning. So the OD goes and grabs a bottle of drops with a red lid. She tells me to cover my right eye and then asks me what the brightness of the red was on a scale from 1-5. It was more like a burnt orange to me so I said 3? Then I switched eyes and out of my right eye the lid was a bright red which then makes the left eye more like a one. What the heck?  She told me not to worry but I should still  take a visual field test the next day.

Thursday, I took the visual field test and what an awful test….no wonder the patients are always complaining about it. The right eye part of the test gave me a headache and my problem was my left eye. I closed my eye a lot and the machine kept yelling at me. The left eye wasn’t so bad…maybe because I was worried I wouldn’t even see the lights?  It was odd to me that I passed the left eye and not the right….well maybe not so weird. I really didn’t take the right eye seriously. So then I took an OCT test which was a piece of cake. Optic nerve and macula were all good…whew! I do however have a large floater in my right eye. I have always had little floaters so to say I did not notice it wouldn’t be completely accurate. This must be why my left eye is over compensating which is why I am more aware of it. I wish I didn’t have the floater which on the OCT reminded me of the Mind Flayer from Stranger Things. Lucky for me that I even have access to these tests.

Later that night after I shortened the big trees I went to go to my computer and the girl was there. It was for school so I didn’t say anything although I wanted to say something. She slept half of the afternoon and played on her phone when she got up instead of using my computer at that time. She has two finals this week and then she is done until next year. I let it go for now but we did discuss “my” computer time. She has her own lap top so I am not even sure why she uses mine.

Friday I came up with a way to tie some of my body type products to books…in theory. I made citrus bliss bath salts in little plastic ornament bulbs and my thought was that I could tie these to Little House in The Big Woods. Didn’t Laura talk about getting an orange in her stocking? I couldn’t find the passage on line anywhere and it was a moot point since my pop up was less than twenty four hours away. I still like the idea and now I have plenty of time to find the perfect book passage. One of the sights that I stopped on had Laura Ingalls quotes and there was this one…

“When the fiddle had stopped singing Laura called out softly, “What are days of auld lang syne, Pa?”

This made me think…..she lived in the 1800’s and for her family to sing this song… guessed it….Ingalls is a Scottish name. I find it funny how everything right now leads me back to Scotland.

My pop up wasn’t as busy as the previous ones but I still did okay and the exposure is always good. I felt such a relief when it was all said and done. I can put everything away and there is no more of this type of making to be made. Of course I have my Hogmany party next Saturday and Christmas is right around the corner but those are different kinds of making.

I did nothing but clean today…except for that part when I made homemade pizza and my little buddy came over for dinner and to watch the season finale of Outlander. Pizza was yummy and the episode was a good one. I even made an experimental pizza and I was surprised at how tasty it was. I spread an artichoke tapenade on the unbaked crust, sprinkled some parmesan/romano cheese, I broke up a bag of frozen spinach, crumbled some feta,diced some tomatoes, and chopped up some kalamata olives. The kids will never eat it but I did and so did my little buddy and now we both have lunch ready to go for tomorrow.

I started listening to Diana Gabaldon’s A Breath of Snow and Ashes today. This was the book back in 2005 that I made it about half way through. I read the first five but got stuck on this one. I have the cd’s and the book….48 cd’s…that’s going to take some time. More importantly….you can see my kitchen table again…..Zia




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I’m Not Wired That Way

My last post was written in the morning because I was on vacation. Just talking about cavatelli made me crave it so guess what I made for dinner that night?

There is nothing that smells better than sauce and meatballs simmering on the stove….at least for my nose.

Speaking of cavatelli….this is so strange. I write about and then I eat it, and then… sister in law sends out a Facebook event about Christmas Eve. “We will be supplying the ham and the vegi lasagna” (not sure who eats that?) I couldn’t help myself, I had to respond with “No cavatelli? That’s sacrilege!”  My brother liked my response so I sent him a text…non Facebook…. about tradition and threw in a dramatic line or two. Something like “when you cut me do I not bleed red sauce?” It really was over the top dramatic and it worked. He will cook the pasta and I will bring the sauce and meatballs….all is right with the world again….

I made a few new things this week for my craft show today. Book page ornaments……and citrus bliss bath salt in plastic ornament bulbs…..

I thought the plastic bulbs were a festive way to package the bath salts. The were also a one day deal from Michael’s and that worked in my favor.

Earlier in the week I put together some teacher gifts for KB. I knew her budget was $5.00 per gift and she was leaning towards bath salts. The girl and I shopped the ReStore for some festive containers to hold the bags of bath salts. I also put them in gift bags for her, which I only did because we have been friends since seventh grade and she has a lot on her plate. I would not have done all of this for just anybody.

It has been a very busy week of making and my house is in utter chaos…..I can’t stand it. I have more to make for my last show of the season on Saturday but tomorrow I am going to catch up on my cleaning. I really lightened my load today and I am not replacing everything. I will make more book page ornaments, wreaths, and trees….and that is it. I have the tree up and the wreath on the front door but all of the other decorations never made it out of the boxes yet. I am only one person.

The girl had a friend sleep over last night so I didn’t have my helper today. The girls and I set almost everything up last night. While I was there I noticed this Buddha picture at the table across from me.

I rolled over in bed this morning and looked at a blank wall and thought “yep, that is where that picture is going.” My first $35.00 in earnings went to this picture. I did good and didn’t buy anything else. Yesterday I went to see my friend at a preschool craft show and I bought a few Christmas presents. One is so clever and I can’t wait to show you but it will have to wait until after Christmas. While I was there I walked their labyrinth. I think this was my coldest walk to date. It was the best sixteen minutes of my weekend.

When my head hits the pillow at night I am out and usually I am asleep within five minutes. This is not where my mind wanders…not anymore…thank goodness. Driving is where my mind tends to wander these days. My mind is always all over the place when I walk the labyrinth. I borderline argue with myself. Why can’t I just pick one thing? Why do I want to do and learn so many things?  I even started on my goals for the New Year. A lot happened in those sixteen minutes. I don’t think I am wired like the rest of the world. Not to sound like Popeye but I am who I am and that’s all that I am.

Friday night I went with RD to a craft show downtown. There was a parade and tree lighting thing going on at the same time. We had a hike to and from the car and let me tell you….I am badly out of shape. I didn’t buy any Christmas presents here but I did buy some things for my Hogmany party. I also bought this maple balsamic vinaigrette dressing that was to die for, I took her card because I will need more of this in the future.

It’s back to work tomorrow…it’s time and yet it’s not time…..Zia

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Tis Scotland

Twas a time… seriously there was a time when I would and could spend hours upon hours working on my family’s genealogy. This kids were small, internet was dial up, and I could still find stuff without paying for it. Boy how the times have changed. I was lucky enough to have found someone who’s family tree crossed mine and I have my maternal grandfather’s lineage traced back to 1740 in London England.

I am counting on my aunt to trace the paternal side of the family. She speaks Italian and is in contact with family members in Italy. She is our best chance for answers on that side.

Speaking of my aunt… you remember her gift of Ancestry DNA? It turns out that the gift she gave me was Scotland. Now before I go any further let me preface this with I am a dark haired, dark eyed, olive skinned, pasta loving, red wine drinking Italian. That is how I was raised. I was thinking about this in the car this morning after dropping the girl off at school….all of those years at my aunt and uncles house with the fancy course after course dinners. My uncle would make some pretty elaborate dishes especially at Easter, everybody raved. Me? I was there for the cavatells and meatballs. Any regrets? Absolutely not! I make some pretty darn good sauce and meatballs and yet it’s still not as good as my aunt makes and will never be as good as my grandmother made. There isn’t a single food in the world that I would pick over my grandmother/aunts cavatells and meatballs. It is who I am, that sauce is in my blood and 46% in my DNA.

I called my maternal grandmother for years and years every Saturday night and one of the traditions she spoke of was first footing. Only she didn’t call it that, it wasn’t until years later that I saw this on one of the Outlander Facebook pages that I realized she must have some Scottish blood in her family.

I wasn’t completely shocked to learn I had some Scottish blood. I really, really want to dig my heels in and get busy. I have always hit a brick wall with this side of the family and now because of the DNA I may have a way to break down some walls. I can’t do it now and it really is a struggle for me because I want to do this.

This is a January/February project. Not a project to do in the middle of getting ready for craft shows and right before Christmas. I know this but every time I research something for my Hogmanay party the desire comes back. I am calling it a Hogmanay party for my fellow Outlander book nerds but since it’s not on New Year’s Eve, it’s basically an old fashioned holiday party with Scottish flair.

I didn’t even realize that Auld Lang Syne was written by a Scottish poet. It makes sense if you think about it.

Everything I know about Scotland and it’s traditions I have learned from Diana Gabaldon. It’s a good thing she is vigilant with her research. My maternal grandmother made the best sausage gravy and biscuits in the whole world. Is that something her mom taught her? I have no idea. I  don’t know a single thing about Scottish cuisine and staring next year I will remedy that fact. I debated whether or not to write about my frustrations in this area and again while I was in the car this morning a song came of the radio and they were singing about the Cumberland Gap. I took that as a sign.

I think next year I am going to have to take a little road trip here…..

I need to know where they came from before Pineville. All I know is that my ancestors followed Daniel Boone into Kentucky and settled there. I have tried to get on the Bell County Facebook Genealogy page but I haven’t had any response. My grandmother had gray eyes and I was hoping that might be a distinct trait of some nationality but it’s not. It is very rare but it didn’t help me narrow anything down. Frank Gray, Mary Ellen Baker, Joanna Swanson, John Baker, William Swanson Jr,Annie Napier, William Swanson Sr, Mary Hall, and there was a Jane McCullough in there somewhere too, those are my elusive peeps. It’s been a long time since I worked on this.

When I research Hogmany on Pinterest for ideas one thing leads to another and I end up looking at pins like this…

Do you remember when I dreamed of a unicorn? Then I started seeing them everywhere? I almost fell of the chair when I saw this…..

Is it all related? Maybe? I don’t have enough facts but I am a firm believer in signs…..Zia

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I Needed That

It always amazes me when I pick up something on a whim and it turns out to be exactly what I needed. How does that happen? This is the book on CD that I am talking about.

It’s an inspirational non fiction story about Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter…..and her mother. The parallels with Demeter and Persephone are something that I find very interesting. She even spent some time talking about Hecate and you know how I feel about her.

That is a tattoo of Hecate’s wheel  that I had  done in June of 2016. Needless to say I  have always had an affinity to Hecate.

I have really been missing my mom lately so maybe that’s why it’s hitting home? The wanting to leave and move to a new place? Her daughter leaving the nest? So much of her story resonates with me….I’m so glad I picked it up. Yesterday after I dropped the girl off at school I had a pomegranate mimosa while I was crafting and listening to the book. Oh…and she keeps excellent tabs on her dreams and does a good job of figuring them out. I really like this woman and her daughter. She also writes fabulous fiction, I have read two of her books. The Secret Life of Bees and The Invention of Wings, both were excellent.

Not too many things speak to me in this way…”yes this, right now…this!” I borrowed it from the library on Saturday and I have two more discs to go. (there were only 8) I have been getting quite a bit done these past two days and even some new things. I will take pictures tomorrow.

Sunday I had lunch with RD and look at this unique pillow she gave me. I love it!

I may not be writing like I should but I have faith that I will finish my story. This is a perfect present! RD also got the girl her first job so fingers crossed it all works out. It’s only on Saturdays for four hours which couldn’t be more perfect. I really hope it works out.

I was stood up for the first time in my life today. It wasn’t horrible though, I sat in a relaxing setting for an hour. I was the only person in the restaurant so that made it a little better. My wine steward friend feels worse than I do. It’s rare to know two people with my name and when my texts pop up in the middle of her work texts, I can see how it happened. I took my salad to go and ran a couple of errands. I’m not even mad, I was a little irritated while it was happening but that’s about it.

One of my friends received her Christmas card yesterday and she sent me this picture…..

I love it when someone sends me a picture of how they display an item I made for them. I makes me happy.

I had an access bars session tonight which was long overdue. My brother and sister in law gave me a gift certificate for my birthday. I had the appointment in place before I received it. The only difference is that I got an extra fifteen minutes so I opted for a shoulder massage. My shoulder has been bothering me as of late.  I really need to get back to yoga, it did wonders for my shoulder.  Sometimes she sees things during bars and in my case whatever creature it is, always has wings. Today she saw a red dragon….

A red dragon with golds eyes. Thank you Ruth Thompson for having the perfect image for me. Ruth has some great deals going on right now so if you like fantasy art she is one of the best.  Her Beauty is one of my favorite pieces and is the focal point of my current living room.Beauty

Sorry about the commercial but I really like Ruth’s art. My dream job is working for her….traveling the country to every renaissance fair, selling her art, getting to dress up every day. Who wouldn’t love that job? I would love to see the world, I just haven’t figured out how to accomplish that yet……Zia

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