Thanksgiving With Friends and Friends

Happy-Thanksgiving-Day-Pic-26

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everybody enjoyed their day as much as I did. I am thoroughly stuffed! Pt is an awesome cook so I am not surprised.  It was nice to have somebody to watch Pangs with me. That is my Thanksgiving tradition and usually I watch it by myself before I head out the door.pangs

After we were so stuffed that we could barely move….we started watching the Friends Thanksgiving episodes.  I would still be there in a food coma on the couch if the kids wouldn’t have called to say they were home. Monica and the turkey head was the best!friends_508_monica_turkey_head

I have so many things to be thankful for, too many to list here today. I would like to say thank you to all of you that read my words, it still amazes me that you come back. I am thankful for all of you……Zia

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Internal Struggle

I am at this point in my writing…..tumblr_mfz6d5D5H61qkxrtro1_1280

I keep telling myself to….doubt2

Because the truth is…..doubt

If I could only break out of….comfort-zone

How does that saying go?image25

When doesn’t a random giant Pegasus make things more interesting?72thingness_head

Thanks for letting me take a little break from myself……Zia

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Dreaded Word Count

I can write a post with five hundred words without even blinking or thinking about it, my nanowrimo is not as easy. I keep thinking about it and that’s my problem, I can clean it up later.  Researching is my thing and when I get to a part that I want to be authentic I stop and pick up my phone….I need to stop that….just make a note” research later.”

The story is coming along nicely, I like the little world that I have created so far. GB thought that I should have a character with his name and now I do and he ended up being gay? I didn’t do it on purpose that’s just the way it ended up, he can’t be too mad because he sent me a picture of this awesome rainbow! Sadly I didn’t get to see it in person, but I do love a rainbow…..IMG_0393

That’s a great picture, I’m glad he told me it was okay to share it…..Zia

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Speedy Sunday

Sunday…..where did you run off to? Why is it that the weekends go by so quickly when the work week seems to last forever? I only did the important things today, like breakfast at PT’s. I wish I could bring you with me it is such a great start to the week.member_card

The girl and I went to Barnes and Noble, she needed a book and I had a gift card to renew my membership….sometimes it’s not so bad asking for something and knowing what you are getting. I really do save money with that card, free shipping on their website (I rarely use that one) but if you use the 20% off coupons that come to your email with the 20%discount from using your card….those add up. Now I know…..so I can’t pay full price ever again.

The girl and I fought the crowd at Michael’s all for an extra 25%off. We did pretty good though, she is working on a project with canvas so I got 2 11×14 canvases, 2 bags of red candy melts, and 3 drawstring (bar soap size) gift bags for $14. and some change. I really am getting better at not buying things without having a project in mind.

Tell me what you think……the place where I take my yoga class is owned by some man who doesn’t have anything to do with his money. The building (cool as it is) that has no purpose to anybody else and where I have been taking my yoga classes on Monday night now has a big pool table in the middle of it. So……no more class :(  My teacher also teaches at some upity studio on Blondie’s side of town. I figured it out, I pay my wonderful teacher $12.00 ever class, once a week is $48.00 per month. The trial month at the upity studio is $39.00 for unlimited classes, after that month is over it is $59.00. I can still only take one class with my teacher because the other one she teaches is in the day when I am working,BUT they are open 7 days a week.  I guess I am just going to try it and see…..

The kids are off to their dads until Friday, my plan is to write like the wind. I am behind and I need to catch up, I did really well tonight after they left but geez….not enough hours in the day…..Zia

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I Survived Another One!

It came and went and I am now officially another year older…..sigh….how did that happen? I don’t feel 44, I’m not sure what 44 feels like but I don’t feel it. I was amazed at the amount of emails that I received offering me a great deal while wishing me a happy birthday. So far Starbucks was the only true free one.IMG_0376They even wrote on my cup. Normally I am a caramel macchiato girl but I decided to try something new and had the caramel brulee latte and wow, I don’t ever want to know how many calories are in that scrumdelicious drink!

How bad is it that my kids gave me this for my birthday?IMG_0378

I liked it and used it last night……is it bad? They…..well the girl also picked this up from Hot Topic.IMG_0381It is now sitting next to my laptop for inspiration. Joss Whedon is a genius and bad Willow was a great character, what better inspiration is there?

Two girls from work came over last night, high priestess reversed and the other one. I worry about high priestess reversed…when someone hints towards suicide….it gets my back up. I asked the girl this morning about her and I said “it would be horrible to have all of those feelings all of the time” and she said “yeah it sounded pretty bad.” She was in the other room playing video games but I know she was listening to every word. High priestess reversed left around 8:30 which was a good time, the other one……left at 11:30! Holy crap!!! I have been saying for a while that I think that she is stock piling some money so she can leave her husband (although it is all bliss from her lips) she certainly had no desire to go home at all. I just got rid of BM who was an doesn’t know how to be a friend and now this one….I will always be nice, but how do you not have any friends? I know that I am overly blessed in this area but no friends? I just don’t understand and I don’t trust her at all, and it’s sad…..she tries so hard. I missed a lot of phone calls last night that I had to return today but I never dreamed that she would camp out all night.

I was running around like a crazy person getting everything in order and I even made the appetizer of all appetizers, bacon wrapped spanish olives. They are to die for….IMG_0379IMG_0380

I went to the deli to buy the bacon and put it under the broiler until crispy. I would start it on the bottom rack next time, the top was too much…..plus the broiler scares me. They are so goooooood!

Today I was supposed to meet my brothers for lunch before we went to get the family portrait taken, but the girls cycle had other ideas. It hasn’t been this bad for awhile! She was almost in tears begging not to go to have the picture taken. I doubled her up on her Midol and gave her a heating pad. She laid on the hard floor in the fetal position for a good half an hour before she moved to the couch. I brought her the hair dryer and a mirror, followed by the straightener. She never had to move and she made it through the photo shoot taking some really cute pictures. Then my baby brother paid for it all? That was a surprise! I am not really sure why I decided to push this picture at all, but the pictures of the kids were worth it all.

I have my nephews here right now while my brother and sister in law are out with friends…..the girl is pretty good with them, which is why I am here talking to you. I am on a writing roll with my nanowrimo project so I better keep at it since I am so behind…..Zia

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Hypocrite?

This is what the kids and I did tonight…..IMG_0371

I know that I am griping constantly about Thanksgiving being forgotten, but my real gripe is that the stores are opening on this day. That’s really when I became an advocate for the holiday.

My tradition is to have the tree up before my birthday. There is no commercial motivation behind this….I just like to look at the lights. I will admit that when it is just me, I will unplug that cookie monster.

It’s a good little tree, I have been using it the last thirteen years and I’m not sure how many years my mom had it.  I get tempted occasionally when there is a really good sale to buy a pre lit one but I can’t bring myself to do it….there is nothing wrong it and it doesn’t take that long to put the lights on.

The girl is trying to push the fairies to the back of the tree and her super heroes to the front….I could be having worse struggles there I know.IMG_0373

Every birthday this subject comes up……..and how weird is this……my ex husband is 46 and 4+6=10 , the boy is 19  1+9=10. Tomorrow I will be 44 and 4+4=8, the girl is 17 1+7=8. I always thought is was weird and I’m not sure what year it started syncing but as long as I remember it always matched up. I don’t know a thing about numerology, but I noticed this……Zia

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I Don’t Get It?

First off……can somebody explain this commercial to me? I saw this for the first time tonight, minus the smiley face boxers….I didn’t think it could get more disturbing and yet it did. Maybe this is geared more towards men? It did not make me want to run out and buy pajama bottoms, that’s for sure!

I had my first delivery of heating oil this season. 201.3 gallons cost $603.90…..such a sin. Hopefully I will be able to sleep through the night tonight, although I am quite confident that my mind will find something else to stress out about.

I took the kids to the mall tonight after days of nagging so they could buy my birthday present. The girl is cursed with my intense love of giving, it is so hard for me to wait when I know that I have found the perfect present. She is so excited and I am still making her wait until Friday.

I still don’t know if I have to work or not. I have the day scheduled off but my little buddy needs to take her mom to the doctor for more tests. I volunteered to come in in the morning to keep them caught up, but they haven’t let me know one way or the other. If I do have to go in then I get a random four hours that I have to use before the end of the year, who knows maybe I will need it more later. I was planning on catching up on my nanowrimo project since I have been slacking with all of the heating stress.

Somehow a few girls from work are coming over Friday night. Don’t ask me how that happened? I really have no idea but people want to come and drink with me and bring munchies….what could be wrong with that? It gives me a little more motivation to stop moving things around and just deal with them. I am slowly getting better at that. Every surface will be as clean as it can be which is like a fresh start before the holidays……..Zia

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I Had No Choice…..

fearI had no choice but to face my fear and look at my money. Way back before my ex husband I always knew exactly how much money I had to my name….down to the penny, and I even had a savings account. When I was a bank teller I knew within five minutes when something in my account changed. This girl has been living on blind faith for far too long. One of my New Years resolutions was to face my money….it only took me 11 1/2 months. I briefly took a quick look in the summer….but I just readjusted things I never really changed.  I really looked this time and now I know and I will watch like a hawk once more.money

I know that I stressed myself out for about three weeks longer than necessary and I was able to fix the heating oil situation by myself. My new budget is $235.00 a month, up from $180.00 and they wanted $298.00, yes I said budget. That’s not because I was behind, that was just based on last years usage. For about 12 hours I thought “ooh I might not need a second job” and then I faced another fear and made the phone call to get this heat situated. I am definitely dropping this house like a hot potato as soon as possible. If I wouldn’t have stopped paying my credit card bills I would have never been able to swing this little miracle. Things may be a little tight but I should be okay for Christmas…I’m a mom…I will be all right for Christmas.

Today was the first slipping and sliding work drive, the morning was a little rougher than I expected but the ride home….sheet of black ice. I let the girl stay home today. She crawled into bed with me after one of the times I hit snooze and said “you know how I never miss school….even when I am really sick?” I said “yes?” “I never skip and I’m doing really well……maybe I could just stay home?” “I wish I could stay home…yeah you can stay home.” Don’t judge…..this girl has gone to school to take a test or do a project when she was miserable and I told her to stay home. She has never asked to stay home before and as long as she gets good grades and doesn’t make this a habit. Maybe if that teacher wasn’t such a bitch about those 15 minutes of study hall and her perfect attendance…..

It’s a little late, but since she is so well rested…..we are making sugar cookies right now…..anything to make that furnace kick on a little less…..Zia

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Run,Run,Run…Stop!

IMG_0335I have done nothing but run all weekend! The kids went to their dads early to watch The Walking Dead because the girl wants to wash her bed with Tide. She prefers sweet smelling chemicals while she sleeps. Whatever….it gives me the opportunity to take a nice long bubble bath. I haven’t taken one of those in forever!

The Christmas list is posted, so I expect more ideas daily! I can’t believe how fast the time is going. It will all come together, it always does.

I received a really nice text from the soon to be ex wife of the 70’s doll hair puller. She called me an inspiration, and I seemed fearless (you know better) and confident. It was very flattering and I am happy that this is the image that I am projecting, whether it’s accurate or not.IMG_0266

I went to PT’s for breakfast this morning but before I left I had sauce started and meatballs in both the sauce and the wedding soup. I knew I would be awhile at PT’s because I was showing her how to make the book page wreath. She has two made already! It will be my project during commercials on Once Upon a Time tonight. I took the boy to get a haircut and took him to Giant Eagle to sign up for a Giant Eagle card. I showed him how to write a check and he now has gas money.

I need to work on my nanowrimo novel and I wanted to make a batch of pizzelles tonight. When we were at dinner theater last night the dessert had vanilla pizzelles which in my book are a waffle cookie. Pizzelles are only authentic if they are anise flavored…..my house is about to smell amazing…..Zia

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I’m a Contradiction

Up, down, left, right, and in circles that is where I am right now. Please when you read my posts, do not worry about me…..that is not my intention. My life is always a big struggle and a lot of it I do bring on myself. I have always managed a way to get heating oil and I will figure this out. I have my moments of extreme anxiety, I had quite a few today actually….it will all work out. I might not know how yet…..but it will, so no worries.

Ever since my visit from my mother the other night (I am choosing to believe it was her) I have been breaking out the Simon and Garfunkel, I have always been partial to this one..

With the exception of the friends part, because as you all know I have the best ones, this song is how I feel a lot of the time. How could it not be? When I was little and my mom was upset or lonely (which was a lot) she played the greatest hits album over and over again. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know all of the words to those songs. It is currently in the cd player in my car right now…….. I miss her.

I had family in from out of town today and that is where the girl and I spent the majority of our day. Telling stories and catching up, laughing that way that you can only laugh with your family, it was a good time. The subject of my mom came up today and this isn’t her side of the family, mostly because of how much the girl looks like her. With all of this reminiscing, my supernatural mom visit, worrying about heat, running into the woman from New Year’s Eve that said “don’t be me”, and throw in some PMS…..how could I not be hot mess?! Driving home right after seeing L with her words fresh in my head singing I am a Rock…..I am thinking that “hiding in my room, safe within my womb” sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

I did have a nice dinner with SB last night, we rarely just sit and talk so it was nice. We always say that we need to do it more but that never seems to happen, life always gets in the way. We went straight from dinner to book club and had no problem convincing the others to take December off. We will pick back up in January with Mrs. Poe which was my pick. It was one of our better discussions last night, we were even there two hours, usually it’s only one.

Tonight I went to dinner theater with PT, L and some other friends. I enjoyed the show and the company. I have to admit that I am glad that it wasn’t a really long show since I was gone most of the day. I am happy to be home…..Zia

The girl quote of the day: traffic was backed up and all I could see was that there were ambulance and fire truck lights up ahead. It ended up being at the BP station which is next to McDonalds, but we guessed McDonalds from where we were . I said “I wonder what is going on?” the girl said “maybe it’s a Mc-heart-attack?” Where does she come up with these things? :)

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