Productive Bonus Day!

Surprisingly I did get a lot accomplished on my extra day day off. It feels pretty good!  I really,really like the family history project this year. It is not what I had originally planned but I am pretty proud of how it came out. I am extra happy that all I am missing is the picture hanging wire and it’s only September 1st. WP_20140901_005

This is the photo that I started with, enlarged it, and I added it to my $1.00 cabinet door….WP_20140802_002


My grandmother, with my great aunt and my great uncle, it really looks better in person….I promise!

I did some organizing today, Kristin over at Organizing Specialist would be proud.

I had these various organizers that made things very hard to find…WP_20140901_006

I combined them into this….WP_20140901_008

It’s not even half full and is much more user friendly….hopefully I will use it more.

I had a very restless night’s sleep last night, I made some big decisions about money and I am not sure how the dice will roll. I haven’t put anything into place yet and I have no idea how it will end up…..but it is time to let things go. I have struggled for a long time and I am really tired of that struggle. I am tired of worrying that the pump in the well will stop working, when the furnace is going to go, how I am going to pay for heating oil, how to stop the water from coming in the basement, the flat roof still isn’t all the way finished, fighting with the boy to cut the grass, shoveling the long ass driveway in the never ending snow……it’s TOO MUCH for one person. I am tired of the struggle and ready to do something and make some big changes……Zia



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Deepest Desire……

How many times over the last two years have I said I don’t know what my dream is? A lot!  Let me put it another way, what would you do if you knew you could not fail? Deep down my dream really hasn’t changed since high school….I want to write.

I don’t think that I write well or that I have some great talent…..I have never even created a fictional character before. I make up my own punctuation for heavens sakes…… version of a dramatic pause. It is my dream though.

Well now that I have said the tearful words out loud (don’t ask me why I was teary eyed, let’s just say peri-menopausal) and written them for the world to see, I guess I need a plan. I think I will look into a creative writing class that I know about and see how that goes. I am 43 it is definitely time to sink or swim.

I made plans to go over my Uncle’s today to go through the pictures for the family history project. I have been on a crazy Christmas kick lately.  Brothers (Justice for boys) had a huge sale 40% off plus 20%. I bought two of these well made, heavy hoodies for my nephews for $25.00, that’s right…before tax they were like $11.50 a piece. They were originally $58.00 a piece, and boys don’t care about clothes but they will like these.WP_20140831_001

The family history project is what actually set off my writing light bulb. My Aunt who graduated from law school many years ago wrote a few freelance articles about my grandparents. The ugly side of me felt a huge pang of jealousy because that was my dream…..I never even acknowledged that until today. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Aunt and I enjoyed her memories in print very much, but I was very jealous. Of course it’s me….I denied it and never nurtured it, and now I’m old and not sure what to do with it. I have nobody to blame but me.

I am mostly sure that I know which picture I will be using, I did however stumble across a a few gold mines. How did I not see these before? The first is my Great Grandmother’s address book. I love that nothing was in any order, all names were in the beginning and there was a random page that just had prune juice written on it. It was a mixture of English and Italian, which was my Great Grandmother.WP_20140831_002

There was also a diary of my Grandmother’s journaling a trip that she made to Italy when I was maybe five? There are addresses of relatives that I don’t even know, and I am very curious about a cousin named Teresina. There was a picture with somebody named Zio……how funny is that? I have been through these boxes on numerous occasions, I don’t know how we all missed it. My Uncle was even surprised!WP_20140831_003

I can’t wait to investigate……..Zia




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The Right Thing…..

Book Award covers.Do you remember when I talked about the girl being upset by the book “looking for alaska”? I sat down today and sent an email to her principal…..she is going to be so mad at me. I was not writing an angry parent letter, I just wanted to make him aware. I doubt he knows. I rarely call the school and if I do it’s more than likely to call someone off sick. I also wanted to make sure that he realized that fact. If my daughter read this on her own it would be one thing but this was on the school approved summer reading list.

In Ohio they teach kids to read by using sight words, and I have been complaining about it for the last 13 years.  Stupid…..just plain stupid! I blame a lot of things within the schools on that way of not teaching.  I mentioned it in the letter, so I am trying to explain its relevance.

I remember reading Valley of the Dolls in 7th grade, I also made a brown paper cover to conceal it from my mother. The book had a lot of shock value….there was something about a goldfish….that’s really all I remember. It was definitely not on a school list…..the nuns would have had a stroke!

I encourage any comments, was I too hard? Was I not hard enough? Did I make my point? Should I have just let it go? I would ask if I said too much…..but I always say too much, but that’s who I am. So here goes…..

Hello Principal Nameless,

I hope you enjoyed your summer…it really flew by this year. I am writing this to make you aware, this is not a complaint or a concern. There may be other parents out there who have previously brought this to your attention, and if not…I’ll just leave that one alone. This is concerning the book “looking for alaska” by John Green. I understand that he is popular right now BUT did my daughter really need to read the blow job 101 that started on page 126?

I know that over the course of her life she will read many books that she dislikes and are disturbing. I couldn’t finish the rape scene in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and I had to walk out of the room during that scene in the Swedish film. Some things you can never un-see. The thing is ……this wasn’t on a school approved reading list.

What happened to Wuthering Heights, Canterbury Tales, or even that ridiculous book that I despised in high school The Old Man and the Sea? I just don’t get it and I can’t blame everything on sight words!

I try and leave well enough alone when it comes to things that happen in school, I would rather turn them into a life lesson than to be on the phone with you over silly things. For example this past school year when the girl came home upset that she didn’t receive her perfect attendance certificate because her Grandmother picked her up 15 min. early from  study hall to get her hair cut. When she went down to the office the woman told her “when we say perfect, we mean perfect!” There was no reason for her to be snotty, but this was a good lesson about how life isn’t fair and is full of people with bad attitudes.

I wanted to make you aware of some of the material in this book that was approved by the school, that I feel was inappropriate. I think my job here is done, have a good first week, Zia Odanata (the girl’s mother)

What do you think….did I do the right thing?….Zia



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The Day After

imagesWhen will I learn? It could have been worse I guess, although why did I tell you what I made for dinner? I know better. I know that I can’t talk on the phone and drink wine, I have no excuse.

When I woke up this morning though……and remembered that I wrote last night…..but not what was written…..ugh! Again…it could have been worse.

I am going to go before I make it worse as I am already the perfect example of bad blogging under the influence…..Zia

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Tipsy Friday

wine-glass-pourWell, I didn’t start out that way……damn cigarettes!  I had SB over for dinner and to give her the birthday presents that I wasn’t able to give her last week. I made her dinner….chicken with roasted red pepper dressing on whole wheat bread with fresh basil.  We also had roasted red peppers stuffed with goat cheese and a brie with the wine apricot jelly that I made.

We had a really nice visit and I really think she is making a major leaps forward in her life ……even though it’s a pay cut right now. I can’t explain it…….just like I can’t explain mine.

Wait….I didn’t explain the tipsy wine thing…….cigarettes are a hand to mouth thing…..when you don’t smoke anymore and are drinking wine…….it leads to trashed!

Moral of the story…..don’t replace a glass of wine for a cigarette….unless you want to be loopy.

It’s weird how SB and I are both dropping pieces of our lives so easily…I blame our wonderful yoga class!  :) Thank you….thank you…..thank you!

I had the most wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling today…. the account that worked with me when I was studying for the optician test called me today because they needed somebody and wanted to give me the first crack at it….how sweet. As you know this is not something that interests me deep down but I forwarded the opportunity to somebody who needs it.

Is that crazy? I want out of my current job….but I am not willing to work a night, or Saturdays without benefits. Mostly I am really partial to being paid to shop on Good Friday……not Thanksgiving….I am against stores being open then.

I really don’t want to be an optician….I wish I knew that $225.00 ago.  Whatever!

The High Priestess reversed called me tonight…..which I had to return the call…….which led to my trashedness!!  I don’t trust her but I do like her….is that a bad thing? Can you relate to someone….like them…..but not trust them?

Life……what a kick in the pants…….Zia




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Bored To Tears

I could lie and say things like “I am getting so much done” or “I have changed over more dry goods to my Italian canning jars from TJ Maxx that I love so much” “I am having my friend over for her birthday dinner and there won’t be any bickering” All of those things apply…..but the truth is that I am bored to tears without them. I gave up on making all of those pennies shiny by myself…it’s too much.a784c4725fa30019e9ab8a66ffdecd69

When my kids leave for good I am pretty sure that I will suffer from empty nest syndrome. They are having fun in DC with their dad though. I gave them each days to text me and send me a picture. The girl is Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and the boy Tuesday and Thursday….she is the over achiever so she gets the extra day.

The difference is so funny. The girl sends me “We’re having fun and I love you and miss you” followed by a picture of the white house and a DC squirrel. The boy sends me “There you go” followed by the Lincoln memorial and the USS enterprise. I am guessing that they were at the Smithsonian.

While I am putzing around the house I am having a Downton Abbey marathon that I am more or less listening to. I am enjoying that.

The grocery store had chip chop ham on sale so I have an experimental dog treat drying in the dehydrator. Hot dogs work so why not chip chop ham? I really have no life without the kids.

I think that I may go before I embarrass myself further…..Zia


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New Moon Monday

indexHecate Goddess of the crossroads, boy oh boy have I been thinking about her a lot lately, and again today because of the new moon. This is one of my favorite Jessica Galbreth prints and it hangs above my grandmothers lingerie chest in my bedroom.  It has been my experience that the events of the new moon…..set the mood for the next 28 days. Okay in re-reading that I see where I may put out that witchy vibe…..whatever…label me if you must.

It was a rough day at work for me…..aren’t they all.  I sit next to bat shit crazy….imagine if you will, what Carrie White would look like if nobody dumped pigs blood on her at the prom….and she lived. That’s what bat shit crazy looks like and she has a small title which basically means she is the only one willing to work extra hours at no pay and take the blame if something goes wrong. Her job sucks, I wouldn’t want it and here is an example of her at her finest……

I had just finished up a phone call and normally I try and block out her crazy, but she was talking to one of my accounts. We had apparently shipped another job to god knows where and she says ” I don’t know what to say, we fucking lost your job” What? I almost fell off of my chair!! I waited 5 minutes and called him back, he was okay…a little stunned, but okay. Is sage tax deductible? I burn it everyday to try and keep my walls up, two things happen here…you get mean or you get crazy….I choose neither! Who talks like that? Don’t get me wrong when I am pissed I can drop the f- bomb as well as the most seasoned truck driver but not on the phone to an account. I really have to find another job.

Thank goodness it was yoga night, I will miss it next week. No yoga on labor day. :(  I did however write a little note to the best yoga teacher ever, I even used one of the angel cards that KW had made for me. I decided that this thank you deserved one of those special cards. It’s corny and cute…you know it’s me.

I just wanted to say thank you! Thank you for being who you are and for being my teacher. It’s because of you that the tops of my thighs no longer rub when I walk (the single hardest part about quitting smoking). You have almost completely banished my back fat…over hang wow and under hang….much better. I am also more aware and you have helped me remember how to be that way.Thank you for working my muscles until they are jelly…..when I think that I can’t possibly hold that pose any longer, Thank you for dusting off my spirit and giving it the good old fashioned kick in the butt that it needed. Forever your student, Zia

Yes it’s corny but I believe in letting people know that you appreciate them, and that they are making a difference. Isn’t that what we all really want?…..Zia

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Zombie Walking


Okay….I’ll admit that is a tad overly dramatic….but just a tad. I did seek out a second job which so far I really do like, but it will take a while to get used to staying up late. I didn’t get home until almost 2am last night, I can’t even remember the last time I was out that late!

It’s always hard when you start a new job and don’t know what you are doing, I think I have the kitchen part down….I just need to learn the computer, although it looks pretty user friendly. It was just too crazy this weekend to learn that. I did get to meet almost everyone yesterday, and it’s nice to work with a team again. I worked Friday night to learn as much as I could in the kitchen so I could be of use for their big event on Saturday. I did just fine in the kitchen and the rest of the night I was more like a bar back? I just basically helped whoever needed it. I only ran into one person last night that I knew, my oldest friends first boyfriend. I have known him since he was 14yrs old, I was a year older than they were, but he also played baseball with the Cockroaches brother… we go again. I just let it go and until now I didn’t even give it another thought. Just one of those things that I have to deal with I guess.

I should have taken today to just relax….but that would have made sense! Instead I chopped and seasoned and chopped some more and now I have chunky garden salsa in the canner right now. Let’s not forget the big mess in the kitchen! Why do I do this to myself? I still have laundry in the washer and dryer and it’s almost 10pm…yikes!

The kids left today to go to their dads for a week and they leave for DC tomorrow. They were good sports about having everything clean before they left, I still have my few areas to work on but the majority is clean. I have pennies soaking in my future lye soap making crockpot…what a mess that was. Soaking the pennies in salt and vinegar was a mistake and I actually had to boil the pennies in new vinegar to dissolve the hardened salt….the girl dropped the ball on that one. She sure made up for it by doing a kick ass job cleaning the bathroom and prepping the floor for the pennies…it’s hard to be mad at her for long.

I should take this week of alone time to get some major things accomplished…I need a game plan, maybe tomorrow. Have a great week…..Zia

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Just an Average Day

I am ending my day watching one of my favorite movies… was a long day and for some reason this movie always makes me feel better.

Today at work was just like any other we were short handed and I am emotionally exhausted…..but who wants to talk about that? Not me!

We did have some floods yesterday……now someone explain this to me please.  It can rain very little in the spring and I have 3 inches of water in my basement. It rains like this…..WP_20140820_001 WP_20140820_002

my front yard usually doesn’t have a lake in it……and there is only water at the drain and a big puddle in the back room (I am convinced it’s related to the down spout). I just don’t get it!

I receive a message from BM today…..I really hope no one ever picks up the phone and says ugh do I have to call her back when I call……and I feel bad that I do that, but really most days I never want to talk to her. I called her back and omg her daughter has cancer….she is just turning 20. This girl grew up at my house and she is a good kid….her parents may be a hot mess but she is a good kid….it’s just horrible. I will make the effort to check in once a week because I love that kid, but the first time BM brings up the Cockroach I am going to say 68% of the things that I hold in whenever I talk to her……in theory.  Maybe if I just put her in her place things will be better…..yeah I doubt that….control….and hold my breath and I will get through it.

I was at Dillards earlier this evening….finding the perfect black polo….flatters and hides at the same time AND was on clearance with an extra 40%off.  Anywho I was coming out of the dressing room when I heard a loud pompous voice, followed by a young girl walking to find another co worker while bawling her eyes out. It took everything I had not to walk up to him and ask him if he felt manly because he traumatized that young girl. Grrrrr sometimes people are just assholes.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday, one more day of soul sucking work and tomorrow night I start training at the winery……yes I am still super excited and I have the perfect polo and everything……Zia


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I Totally Lucked Out!!

There is nothing new on the main job front search, but I just hit the part time jack pot!! There is a new local winery….really new and I was just hired for Saturday nights. :) I emailed the company last Thursday night the 14th one whim, I mailed the application Saturday morning, I emailed again on Monday because I attached my resume but forgot my reference page…….she still called me today, I went, and she hired me on the spot! Wahoo for me! Yes I am very excited! This place is new but it has amazing potential and the plans that they have set in motion are just wow! I can make in one night what I used to make in two at Pier 1, that counts as time management…right? It’s a little bit of a drive but when I bring the kids home the best blueberry donuts in town…they won’t mind so much. Did I mention that I was excited?

The only downfall I see is the stretch of 35mph country rd. Since it will be later in the day the deer should keep me within the speed limit….I hope. It’s hard to keep that lead foot under control….and it’s part of the “good ole boys” patrol, yep this part will be hard.

This is my second day of not being home to keep the super clean momentum going….the kids are with their dad for a whole week next week and I want to have everything spotless…….because it stays that way with very little maintenance when they are gone. I won’t have to cook……I just need to remember to eat…….Zia




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