Not Enough Time!

There are just not enough hours in a day to get caught up! I had some good momentum going yesterday cleaning and organizing my bedroom. I had two  grocery store size bags of garbage, one paper bag of burnable paper (receipts, etc), two bags for Goodwill, two donations for the play house,one bag for costumes and one tote of fabric. That’s a lot and it is all delivered and I gave my china to PT, so there is one less thing to look at every day.

I am just tired of selling things for pennies on Ebay, I would rather see it go to a good home and have people eat and be merry using my china that never had a chance to be used. I went over last night for dinner and a movie….well two movies. I picked Hocus Pocus and PT picked In and Out, both were good picks. We discussed the holidays as well….when you’re single everybody gives you the pity invite, it will be so nice to be able to say “no thank you, I already have plans”. I better start looking for PT’s daughter’s cranberry sauce now…..there is a story there….someday I will share it.

The girl was a little pissy that I was at Pt’s all night….who is the parent? She got over it relatively quickly. She also decided after much reasoning on my part that she will save the Princess Peach idea for her senior year…..on less thing that I have to worry about….whew!

I didn’t get nearly enough accomplished today, my sister in law had  Juice Plus thingy tonight and that took a big chunk out of my day. It’s 11:30 and my last batch of pickle sticks are in the canner……I am so draggin’ ass tomorrow!

I still had laundry to do when I came home…..and it was raining…..I will not ever miss having to go outside to get to the basement to do laundry…..I need a solid plan!

I cleaned a lot out this weekend, I still have miles to go and I am certain that I do not wish to stay here…..Zia

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Double Standard

At first glance….you may think that this will be a sexist post, it is actually a “how the heck do I rationalize with a mini me post?” I’m so screwed!

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I am very lucky that I have such great kids and I can’t stress this enough. My daughter could be boy crazy and I could stay up late worrying about what she is doing. She could be into drugs or cutting herself….there are many things that she could be doing that thankfully she is not. HOWEVER, the girl has decided that for the homecoming dance that she wants to go as Princess Peach. Now…if she truly wants to than I will do my best to make it as authentic as possible….. but how do I talk her out of it? If I can’t…. PT….I will need you B and sewing vault!

I ran this issue by a few people at work who knew who this character is, and in retrospect that could be why I received the answers that I did. The kid at work who reminds of the boy said ” I never once had any interest to go to a dance in high school, but I never met anybody who wanted to dress up as Princess Peach, I’m only 24….” I changed that subject real quick!

Next was “you gotta love the girl for being brave enough to do that” Not helpful at all.  “That’s an iconic character, how awesome!”  “I have a $2,000.00 credit limit at a bridal store that I will never use…you can pay me back, lets go!” “Wow apple….tree…how does that feel?” Those are the various responses that I received.

In a big way she is mocking the ritual of a high school dance and the pressure to go, even when you don’t have a date or any interest in going. Her friends just want her to go so they will agree to anything to get her there, but if you are going to make a stand and wear something like that….you have to be prepared to face the reactions. Most kids are not no nice, or she will be queen to a minion of geeks….this can end either way.

How can I fault her when I am constantly changing things and downsizing, etc. I stand up for what I believe in….so why am I faulting her? Fear. I can’t gauge peoples reactions or protect her from them and I can’t keep her in a bubble. I don’t want her to get hurt and on the flip side there are many parents out there that would trade situations with me in a nano second…..no thanks I will stick with Princess Peach.

I survived another week at work and boy it was a rough one! How could it not be when I turned down a risky job with potential to be government? Sometimes you have to be very specific when it comes to the Universe…..it’s not just me, I have two kids to think about.

I am loving my I-phone 5c that I got earlier this week, my favorite new app is the BBC news. I also love being able to listen to my I tunes…I have I tunes….I never had that before….I am so easily amused.

I have an appointment on Tuesday for a haircut and how do you think that this cut would look with brown hair….no highlights? Oh and a tad longer.6.-The-Messy-Bob

I am changing everything else so why shouldn’t I go out of my comfort zone with my hair? I like highlights but I feel like I am there forever when I get them, and if I did…..well let’s just say I kinda miss the purple. When did I get so old?

Highlight of the week!…… Earlier this Spring PT and I went to some outlets and I bought this shirt that I loved from Chico’s on clearance for like $22.00. It bordered on snug but I really liked it, I wore it the other day and it was a little loose on me!!! It was the first time that I noticed a real change in my upper body. Have I mentioned lately how I have the best yoga teacher ever! Thank you S!!!

Happy Friday and I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow!…..Zia

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It Had To Be Done

This will sound really terrible to some of you, but I couldn’t do it anymore……I was so very lucky to find someone who will do a much better job than we were. dirt 005

She’s pretty right? Do you see all of that hair? Plus she really needs to run. When I let her run we got along really well, and then she started crossing main roads. She was going to get killed or kill somebody so I put her on a run and not a day went by that she didn’t make me pay for it with her behavior.

I was lucky enough to find (well…found for me) somewhere where she will be the only dog, there is 6 1/2 acres of fenced in land for her to run, and a house 5 times as big(maybe more) than my house. She will have the chance to travel across the country with her new mom and dad…..she will have the best life.

I have been looking for two months now so I knew that this day was coming eventually and I was surprised at how upset I was. I didn’t see that coming. I am hoping to finally sleep through the night…..she slept under my bed and always patrolled a few times, while waking me up each time. I can say good bye to the pee pad and all of that hair…did I mention that? No more of the struggle…I put the baby gate on my bedroom door……she would knock it down or jump it everyday. The money I will save on my daughters underwear and shorts and pants…..no more crotchless clothes.

I really hope that the change won’t be too traumatizing for her, and I worry about how the beagle will feel about it. Only time will tell I guess, I still can’t believe that I cried over a dog that I could barely stand.

When the time comes for me to walk away from this house, it will be hard to find somewhere that will allow us to have one dog…..two would be almost impossible. It was hard (still surprised) but it will be better in the long run for all of us.

Right after the girl and I sent B on her way, I met EO and my supervisor for dinner. That did help take my mind off of things and it was nice to hang out with EO again. She is moving next week and has been so busy plus I was working at the winery, so we haven’t had the opportunity to do anything.

It has been a really long and emotional day all the way around, hopefully tomorrow will be calmer….Zia

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Welcome To the New Age

I am not that person who runs right out and gets the next best thing, my Windows phone was my first smart phone, and yes I am way behind in the cell phone age.   Tonight I signed a contract to get my first I- phone. The new I- phone 6 comes out Friday….I think because of that I was able to get my I- phone 5c for 99 cents. I hate signing a contract but it needed to be done. The girl wants to stay with Straight Talk and since I checked her phone….whoa! She used 2G of wi fi data and 2g of cellular….holy crap….I barely had 1G in the last 30 days.apple

My son now gets the pleasure of telling me what to do….I- phone related anyway. I have to take that in small doses…it’s going to take me forever to figure this phone out.  Boy do I sound old! I am pretty sure that I will like it in the long run. I’m stuck with it for 2 yrs, so I better.

I did get a reply from the winery about my resignation. The wife was very apologetic but in the same breath said that one offhanded comment doesn’t constitute sexual harassment….(it was 2) and yes it does. I don’t care I am not going back so I didn’t waste the energy to reply. My friend’s grand daughter said that the husband was creepy and has hit on her too…..she is a baby at like 22 or 23….that’s extra creepy. Hopefully I never have to see them again.

I was offered that potential government job, it was very hard to say no. It was just to uncertain and I couldn’t take that risk, so I said no. Crazy…right?

SB and I were the only ones at yoga last night so we were lucky to get bonus attention. I wanted to work on chanting and SB wanted to work on head stands, we did both. I can really see a difference since I started this class, the newest thing…..my jeans are super baggy in the legs. If only I could get rig of my middle aged mid section….I will get there eventually……Zia1ed73cae0895f7469cdf99980e5c2dbc

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Here Goes Nothing……

I was lucky enough to start my day at PT’s for breakfast, but there were two husbands there……and later a friend that was male, and that was too much testosterone for me to feel comfortable revealing what had happened the night before. There was a moment that I was able to tell PT privately and she confirmed what others have said…..I already knew what I had to do….but it was not fun.

Here is my resignation letter……..imagesletter

I am very sad that this is where this has ended, but I cannot have a repeat of last night. I will admit that I have never left a job over (insert snack food)……ever. I am not sure how it happened or why…..but I did nothing to deserve what happened.  Also as a young company, you really need to be aware of the sexual harassment laws that are in place, you are lucky that I am not “that” person.

For you —-to tell me that—-was upstairs pouting because you offered me a (insert snack food) before her…..was wrong. To go further and reference a “big rack” twice was breaking the law wrong. I can’t help that…..and it was wrong for you to make me feel self conscious about it. You pulled me into your marriage where I don’t belong and didn’t ask to be.

I did not feel well and it took everything that I had to be there and maintain my workflow. I had no energy left to block out your energy and when you——came back downstairs…..everything that was coming off of you rushed on to me and I didn’t have the reserves to fight it. It was part your emotions and part my humiliation for being put in that position, that made me cry…..at work…..all the way home…..hours afterwards….and even when I woke up in the middle of the night. I have NEVER experienced that before…..ever!

I really think that your establishment has great potential and I am deeply saddened that I will not be there to watch it grow……I really wanted to work there…..but I will not be back. Please mail me my final paycheck, Zia

What do you think? Did I make my point? Was I too wishy washy? I still don’t think that I am over reacting….but it sucks that I now have to find another part time job. I really felt like I was supposed to be there, what if  I missed something vital to my future? It’s too late now, what is done…is done.

I am starting to feel better, although all of that crying made things really difficult and before I went to PT’s I had to lay with a bag of frozen peas over my eyes for  10 minutes before I could even put my contacts in.

It was a rough day all over, but I survived and really hope to have the energy that is needed to battle the upcoming week……Zia

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Advice Please???

stuffy-nose-headache-400x400Let me preface this post by letting you know that when I don’t feel good, the things that normally roll right off of my back seem huge and everything tends to catch up with me.

I started getting belly rumblings last night at book club, I was happy when I woke up this morning feeling a little better. I dragged the boy and we went to meet my aunt at the trunk show. In the cold, damp,drizzle I managed to break even, the boy however was buying and selling like a pro. My aunt had my great uncles wool coat and that saved me from freezing most of the morning……thanks Uncle Joe. <3  By the time I left my head felt three sizes too big, I was glad that I had made soup earlier in the week. I slept for about an hour then headed off to the winery.WP_20140913_001Here is where this gets tricky….

I was happy that the Aleve D stopped  my nose from continuously running, but I really had to force myself to go to work. First they still aren’t letting me out of the kitchen, I was hired to waitress but seem to be trapped in the kitchen and second I wanted to be in bed. I went in and just started prepping for the night. The husband part of owner team had just come back for the store and he offered me a snack, I declined because I didn’t feel good and was just fine with my ginger ale. The wife part of the team asked me if I was all caught up, to which I answered yes….and then she disappeared.

The husband then proceeds to tell me she is upstairs pouting because he offered me a snack before her…….he shouldn’t have told me that……or the part about her going to his facebook page and there was some kind of comment about big racks? I swear that I am not making this up!

She comes down like two and a half hours later and is now working side by side with me, talking at me but not looking at me……I couldn’t do it. I didn’t feel good and I didn’t deserve that and I started crying (because that’s what my nose needs right now) I couldn’t/haven’t stopped since. Obviously I couldn’t work like that, she let me go home and I blamed it on the fact that I didn’t feel good….which is partially true. I still have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Is this what it will be like working for them? This is not what I signed up for!

I was still teary eyed when I came home and the girl followed me into the bedroom where I was putting on my jammies. She wouldn’t let it go until I told her and me being the over dramatic mom that I am grabbed her boob and said “these” and I then grabbed her face and said “and this pretty face will always cause trouble.” It’s sad but true, people always treat me different. I know this for a fact because I didn’t grow my boobs until my metabolism changed around 37 yrs old. I went from a 32C to a 34DD in one year….it has not been fun.

So what do I do……stick it out and see if it gets better…..or just start looking again and hope that I am lucky enough to find something? I doubt that I will find something as unique…..in the end it’s only about the money anyway…..right?

Maybe my outlook will be different when I feel better, I am just so tired of everything always being so hard……Zia

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Up in the Air

First I must say that I can’t believe that I titled a post Blow Job…..what was I thinking? Second after a few more emails I think that the teacher finally understands but it was tough! I think he was worried about what I would object to next…..one of my final statements on the subject were “I am pretty sure that I will be okay with any book that you teach as long as I don’t have to say “school approved” and “blow job” in the same sentence. I am so very over that subject!!

I went and took a drug test today for a job that I am pretty sure that I am not going to take. I even received a non recorded reminder to take it…..I have never been so sure of a job offer before, too bad I am not willing to face the elements for a mere .25 an hour more than I am making now. If I had a guarantee of it turning into a permanent government job than hell yeah…..but I don’t. I peed in a cup and the background check is spinning as I type. I hope that I am making the right decision.

I am still trying to figure out the twists and turns of my path in this life…..I haven’t always made the right choice in the past…..but I have to start facing my fears and move on with my life sometime!…..Ziawww.pinterest.com

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Blow Job

How many times can you say that before your head explodes……no pun intended? Okay I will admit that is pretty crude….but it is how I started my day. Wait…..that didn’t come out right!  Since I never received a response from the principal about the email that I sent him I had to make a phone call and yes…..I was mortified that I said the words blow job to the principal….ugh!

He immediately shirked the responsibility and sent me to the english teacher, who did respond by phone and email. The phone message I received first and prematurely responded and then I read the email…….whoa! It was way over written and if he thought that I grew up in this area he is sadly mistaken. Pick somebody else to intimidate with your words……I understand their meanings. I am offended on many levels at his response.

I have to hold back because it is only the second week of school and he is my daughter’s english teacher. What a fine line that is….all I really wanted was for him to say “yes this was inappropriate and I will remove it from next years list”. There is nothing about a blow job that should be school approved and I stand by that!!!

Why do I feel like I am the bad guy? It is just not right!!!

The girl knew that I emailed the principal but she doesn’t know about her teacher…..she would die a thousand deaths if she did!

Cg came over for dinner last night….even though she didn’t feel well, which made me feel bad……it was a nice short visit. She left early and I was consumed by the book club book last night and I only have about 150 pages to go….so I am off to Scotland where I don’t have to read anything about blow jobs….Zia51GdBp39NcL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

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Going With My Gut

First let me say…..I haven’t turned anything down yet, BUT my gut says this isn’t it. Who wouldn’t want to work for the government, the benefits are amazing. Let’s face it though, I am 43yrs old and not in the best shape. I know I can’t lift 70lbs and I don’t even care to try. When the roads are bad I am usually so happy that I made it to work in one piece, driving around in it doesn’t sound like fun and neither does carrying a 35lb satchel through the rain or a blizzard. I just think that pursuing this would be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I really like the two guys that interviewed me especially the lead one.  At one point I told him “you are really not doing a great job selling this job to me” he said “I am just trying to be honest, so you know what you are getting yourself into.” I appreciated that and told him so.

I received my email for the drug test and the background check….should I do those anyway? I would like to be in the system if there is another job that comes available, wouldn’t that make me pre-certified or something? He said that I could say that I am not interested at this time and still be considered down the road. It just seemed like an awful lot for .25 more an hour than what I am already making.

I wasn’t nervous and of course this interview went amazingly well, and I was the only one wearing a suit. I think that I got the prize for best dressed and least likely to take the job followed by the only one who brought something to read. The email said be prepared to be here several hours so I brought a book and read while the others stared off into space or played with their pens…..I don’t get it….didn’t they read the email?

That was the biggest part of my day, followed by another amazing yoga class! :)  She started teaching us one of the chants tonight…..it was very exciting and I have forgotten it already, but I loved it and can’t wait to try it again. I was thinking in savasana about my gut and trying to listen to it. I belong in that class 300%, I am sure of that! Even though it is only Saturday night at the winery…..I am supposed to be there too. The time is coming where I will find where I belong in the work force….it’s coming, and it really needs to pick up the pace.shutterstock_78517363

CG is coming over for dinner tomorrow, I have a lot to bounce off of her. She is bringing me some info about non work related issues that I need to deal with. Funny about how our yoga class was all about change…..everything in my world is changing…..Zia

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Chicken Little Soup

Well…..it’s actually wedding soup, and I made enough to can. Chicken broth with tiny meatballs requires a pressure canner……here is to hoping I don’t blow up! I am always a big chicken when it comes to the pressure canner, which explains why this is only it’s second time out of the box…..I lived the first time…..obviously :)

CG is coming over to dinner on Tuesday and since she bought me this last year for my birthday…WP_20131120_002

I should definitely serve her soup! I have no idea what else I am making, I might just serve some caponata on french bread followed by wedding soup and a big salad. I can change my mind fifty times before Tuesday anyway.

The girl turned 17 yesterday, how did that happen? I felt bad because I had to work the winery last night, but she will have her bonfire with her friends another night. It was an odd night there too…we were crazy busy early and I was home by eleven.

I came home and wrapped Christmas presents…..don’t judge I have my reasons.WP_20140906_001

This is how I wrapped the family history project, if you missed it….

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I then wrapped my nephews boring clothes part of their present, and both of my cousins have baby girls and their outfits are wrapped as well. I was going to take them over to my brothers today but my sister in law would like to visit….so I guess it will be next week before I get these presents out of my house.

My brother has a wine cellar so I should probably start my limoncello as well. Just trying to get as many ducks in a row that I can I guess. I should be worrying about the book club book for next Friday instead of Christmas in three months.

The kids go back to their dads tomorrow……again….ugh, the girl is super frustrated. She had two projects due on Wednesday that she wanted to get done……there is something about homework at her dads that she despises. Then about 7:30 she remembers she needs alcohol photos (did I mention that she is doing a poster on the book that I wrote the principal about?….way to throw your mother under the bus) for the project due tomorrow. Thankfully I sold Mary Kay briefly under the girl who works at the local liquor store, they closed at 8. The poster is now done and hopefully I don’t have to hear about the disturbed girl named Alaska again. How many times have you had to go to the liquor store for a high school project?  My point exactly!

Why did she do the 2 projects for Wednesday first? Why am I wrapping Christmas presents in September? Apple……tree I guess!

I just went to turn the burner off of the pressure canner and the boy was in the kitchen putzing around so I took off the pressure regulator…..which led to a big swoosh like I knew it would……I didn’t know that the boy could move so fast. It’s the simple things that amuse me……Zia

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